You know you have complex trauma when......

[Deleted member 29920]

Usually I manage, it's just so hard right now. It's hard to stay strong. But I've done it so far... :ninja:

 

[Ronin]

That's very true.

& There's strength in allowing yourself peace and compassion, that people call it 'weakness', they don't know. :tup::ninja:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Words are difficult now, but thank you for being here, and being right :tup: :hug:

 

[Ronin]

Thank you for being here, and sharing, too, @Cj77. :hug:

 

[Just-yep]

........when you give birth and feel NOTHING......no joy, no relief, no bonding, no rush of emotion,..........

When you're glad to see you're not the only one that felt nothing when they're child was born.

When your therapist asks how you've been and you lie so you don't have to talk about it...

 

[Ronin]

When coping mechanisms for trauma A mess up everything about trauma B which in turn makes you believe trauma A was definitely not as mattering because trauma C that's way more minor said so....

Gimme a break. Fine, 'that's still shit to work through my nigga, stop dodging an' fronting', I'll take up your words on that, sistah.

 

[prayingforpeace]

You know you have cptsd when you're walking through a store (anyplace) and see someone laugh and wonder what they're saying/thinking about you that's so funny!?! I'm so embarrassed / ashamed / ugly / not good enough... Do they see thru my mask? Do they know how pathetic I am?

or..
maybe that's just me. because I think I'm the only one THAT insecure / ugly / not good enough etc.

 

[FauxLiz]

You know you have cptsd when you're walking through a store (anyplace) and see someone laugh and wonder what they're saying/thinking about you that's so funny!?! I'm so embarrassed / ashamed / ugly / not good enough... Do they see thru my mask? Do they know how pathetic I am?

When you're glad to see you're not the only one that felt nothing when they're child was born.

I don't know whether to be relieved or sad that I can relate to these and so many other statements on this thread.

 

[Ronin]

When you decide to use petty bullshit - that stresses the everloving hell out of you and has its teeth in so many Big Things - as first a distraction and then a weapon.

We're not thinking about 'hello, all the down times that thinking was the only plan I had'.
Let's use the strength of people no longer with you. Don't think for a second they're not here.

 

[Ellabella44]

When your day starts out with a flashback of trauma A, a song on radio brings up trauma B, a food you like brings up trauma C, and its all in the same day with different abusers attatched to each one.

When your first visit with your APRN, you recount a list for her as far back as you know and she sits there stunned for a few seconds when you are done and says wow.

when going over the same list as above makes you say the same thing.

 

[void]

......when after many years of therapy you finally grasp that you have always been far more fvcked up than you ever realized.

People think you are at your maximum-fvcked-upness when you START therapy and then improve from there..........au contraire my friend!.....it will take you YEARS to see how far-reaching, yea, all-encompassing the impact of your trauma history.

sigh................................................:grumpy:

 

[Ronin]

when after many years of therapy you finally grasp that you have always been far more fvcked up than you ever realized.

When whole this line makes you smile.
With a warm hearted smile.
Realizing means being alive & aware & working on it.

Aware & Woke is good in so many ways complex trauma could never hope to touch. :D