You know you have complex trauma when......

[Ronin]

^ When you know that one, from twenty different angles that aren't friends, either.

& You've gotten good at having blank face on at all times. And not look-talking. I'm not sharing the moments of fun.
Unlearning that is such a journey. Easier done with distance & safety, who would have thought.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

When you realise your childhood made you into the perfect victim for future traumas.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

When the distorted thoughts and criticism you torture yourself with aren't even in your voice.

 

[Ronin]

When you facepalm and give some phrasing the look over the smoke you're not lighting.

Sure. That's totally what that word is. Ne-ver-f*cking-mind. C, words are bullshit anyway, so why do we care.

 

[Ronin]

When 'coping' is 'I switched to being emotionally on a different trauma trainwreck'. :D

 

[DharmaGirl]

When your real life starts at 57, after working through lots of trauma.

 

[Friday]

When you have arguments with yourself about which piece belongs where, in what life, when, and what is still true, or could be true, and what's no longer true and done, or might be true again. This piece, that life, that piece this life, then, now, never, maybe, yes, no. f*ck me. Is it so damn hard to bring the pieces I want forward, and leave the other pieces I don't want behind? LOL. Little bit. Sometimes.

 

[Ronin]

When you decide words are b.s. and back to years of silence, you f*cking excel at silence, if you could get paid for every second of it you'd have no money worries ever...

And oh wait. Other people out there have similar thoughts. So it's keep moving forward. So it's don't f*cking give up on yourself. The pretty loud voices that told you the same are again f*cking right.

 

[ms spock]

When you have worked your arse off for years to get better - and you have been very successful in healing - and yet you get to another point - and you basically have the same amount of work and healing to do again as well. I need to do the same amount of work that I have done on Mindfulness, Depression and Distorted Cognitions - I need to do that same amount of work on anxiety, DBT, self care and my severe attachment disorder. I am exhausted by all the work that I have been doing.

 

[Ronin]

When you'd swear you're alright after all the escapades you're doing, but given you remind yourself of basic training to keep your sanity (and ha, wasn't that fun, as in trauma fun :D) you figure you're probably swimming in shit and didn't yet notice, as you're busy to Keep Swimming.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

It feels like no one understands because your mother is your worst abuser and - who will be your mother now?

 

[Ronin]

You be your mother, @Cj77.

You been the best mother, despite your mother's efforts, you could get. Raised yourself well, you.