Relationship You want to continue supporting, but they seem so lost in isolation.

[Deleted member 44240]

if you’ve read my story on different forums, then you know what I’m dealing with. My former partner who blindsided me with a break up back in September and who is a sufferer, has since isolated since Thanksgiving. I’ve read where winter months can be hard, I’ve read about anniversaries, I’ve also read about jerks. One thing for certain, he wasn’t a jerk by any means, however, due to the stress-factor accompanied by ptsd, the relationship was a little too much at the time. He always told me that he loved me and was always very excited to spend time with me and enjoy long phone conversations. We literally have not spoken on the phone since the week before Thanksgiving and it’s been heart-wrenching for me. I am still trying to be strong and continue to support him by taking care of a bill we share, sending random text or emails and sometimes he responds briefly.

So, I know he still acknowledges me and possibly what we had, but he not interested in working on fixing what we had. I am only interested in his friendship for now because he’s such a sweet heart and we became such good friends. I would just like to know has anyone ever had luck with pulling someone out of isolation with continuous texting and emails, or did it work better by using no contact? I welcome all supporters responses...

 

[Sweetpea76]

I've never had a long isolation from mine, but when he does isolate for short periods I leave him completely alone. He uses isolation periods as a reset, so I give him the time and space he needs.

 

[Buttercup]

Ok, I have had success but I think it was success in spite of it rather than because of it. I do think there was the odd time that it was because of it in the beginning. Maybe it showed him I was serious in my feelings for him? Or maybe its because he truly feels for me the way i feel for him? I don't know. He has told me multiple times he wasn't happy with them all and they frustrated him and probably freaked him out a bit too!

I feel awful for it now and have changed my ways! I don't recommend it.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Ok. Update. He is no isaolating; he is angry with me over hearsay and some things I’ve shared with others. I understand but he’s said that he forgives me, but I’m seeing that he’s not really forgiven me. Now I’m trying to rekindle our friendship with him being stubborn.

 

[LuckiLee]

Sorry you're going through this. Trust is a huge issue with sufferers'. If that trust is broken there's really nothing you can do. A boundary was crossed.

You say he broke up with you in September. I would follow his wishes. Leave him be. Let him reach out to you. If and when he's ready.

PTSD relationships are hard. Having PTSD is brutal.

 

[Buttercup]

Did you talk to people about him and his PTSD?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

The person who is his boss, who is also someone I’ve known for years, asked me about his behavior; she figured that something wasn’t right. I told her to be mindful because he does suffer with ptsd and to handle him with kid gloves. That’s it; nothing more. Who knows what she may have told him.

 

[LuckiLee]

That wasn't your place to say anything. Especially with his boss!

 

[LuckiLee]

"handle him with kid gloves" sorry to say I'd be pissed too. You made him sound like he could go off at any time. If this is too blunt for you. Again sorry.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

That wasn't your place to say anything. Especially with his boss!

As mentioned earlier, I didn’t say anything directly to her concerning him. She asked questions of which I didn’t confirm or deny. That’s how our conversation concerning him went. Again she had been a friend of mine long before he was employed there, so she confided in me for answers to his behavior. Again, I didn’t go into detail with her about anything.

 

[StarChild]

The person who is his boss

I told her to be mindful because he does suffer with ptsd

This @B.J. is a most profound betrayal of trust and on the relationship itself! Such a doing is more than enough (for me) to kick someone who would do this to me, to the curb for good! That's simply something, a so called partner / friend / well meaning person has no, and I mean NO right to do.

To really and truly love someone, also means to respect them and their integrity as a human being. There's no such thing as love without respect. Except for when you are rather obsessed / besotted with someone, than truly loving them. And since I've read a lot of your posts, you, for whatever reason are unable or simply don't want to accept your former partners boundaries, nor his break-up with you in September last year.

I learned through another friend that he actually was diagnosed schizophrenic and bipolar 1

This is something you wrote in one of your first posts here on the forums. Now, tell me, where does it say that he has PTSD?...

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Also, she was concerned about her business as anyone would be. So, if I know that someone may know about someone I’ve employed, I would probably reach out as well. However, with my wanting to protect him, I kept things very generic.