Zoning Blackouts?

[HappyJock]

I haven't told my therapist yet, mostly because I've just not gotten over my fear in trusting one but lately, it seems these Blackouts are worse each time they happen.

I could be sitting in front of my computer and I'd zone out with my eyes open, kind of like I leave my own body. I kind of just sit or stand still for five, even ten minutes. Sometimes I even "sleep-walk" even though I'm not sleeping. When I walk, I usually seem very different and quite angry (towards myself), self-harm and then all I remember then is fifteen minutes later. I remember everything, it's just that I'm not able to control it. I'm not working now, so it's not noticed, but last year when I as, it was noticed. Then it was worse I think. Maybe two hours with my eyes open, stating at a computer screen with my heart beating fast? Now I'm not sure it's that long just because I'm not doing too much right now. Any ideas of what this could be or any of you have similar experiences? These things also scare me because the rage towards myself is actually pretty intense. Just that short while. Then I snap out of it and am back to the normal, calm, very reserved me.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, are you familiar with dissociation? Have you been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder?

(Added)

I am a bit confused as you've posted quite a bit about these dissociative episodes, and last time I asked you said you didn't remember the previous postings about it.

Are you still losing lots of time?

I honestly think you should throw caution to the wind and reach out for help to your therapist as your dissociative episodes and injuring could cause great damage.

I'm really not trying to be mean but your level of dissociation is very serious and we can't offer much help when it's that bad-----

I strongly urge you to make a note, many notes to yourself to contact your therapist about what you're experiencing. I think it's the only way you're going to get the proper help to heal.

 

[Casey_03]

Are you on any medication? I was on an anti-depressant once that did this sort of thing. Also, could be dissociation. Is there anything stressful or distressing that happens to you just prior to these states? Any common trigger in all of these episodes?

 

[joeylittle]

@HappyJock - I'd also strongly recommend you be tested to see if this is epilepsy. Partial seizures can mimic what you are describing.

It's likely not what's happening, but you really should get it ruled out. Talk with your GP or psych about getting a referral.

 

[HappyJock]

Thanks for the responses! I've already done tests to rule out Epilepsy and they said I was neurologically fine.

I emailed my therapist all of this. Not the chat but what I wrote. I can't say I'm not in feat or anxious. I've never been honest with a therapist before.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

:hug: I hope it goes well, and there are ways to deal with dissociation, so stay strong :)