Antidepressants And Traumatic Memory Recall

[sun seeker]

I'm interested in the experiences of people who have been on antidepressants and then stopped them. My psychiatrist wants me on them, and I have some pretty big problems with the idea and have been resisting. However, my sleep medication isn't working very well anymore and I am toying with the idea of switching to a low dose of amitriptyline for sleep and an added layer of calming during the day (I currently take prn Clonazepam every two or three days, which is not enough and I save it for real panic.)

I'm thinking amitriptyline because I've taken it in the past and it did help the anxiety. My qualms about it, aside from some minor side effects, have to do with my memory that when I took it, it was emotionally numbing. I didn't feel anxious, but I didn't feel much of anything else, either. Not how I want to be in general; not where I want to be while doing intense trauma work. Haven't decided where the balance is, if there is one. I do know I need to sleep.

I have one particular question, then. I talked with a man who had been on antidepressants for years (not sure which) and when he came off them, a lot of memories came back to him that he had forgotten while on the medication. Yikes. Definitely not what I want to be doing while working on recovered memories and trauma release.

Has anyone else experienced something like that, or do you know of any studies on this topic? I seem to remember that there is a drug used for some aspect of PTSD that works by literally making people forget the traumatic event, but I can't remember which one it was or anything more about it. Any information, anecdotal or otherwise, is much appreciated.

 

[Yunie]

I've been on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication for the better part of my adult life. I did quit and go back on them, but I never had any problem with memory. What I did do what make me stop obsessing over my past failures/experiences...when I quit they do come back with a little ferocity, but I never truly forgot them. There is a numbing effect, and my activities I enjoy aren't as fun as when I'm off them, but I gladly give up that little spark to not feel anxious constantly and obsess about things...It really kind of is a catch 22. You probably know this, but you should never just quit taking anti-depressants. Like lots of other medication a doctor slowly takes you off of them. I take lexapro(daily) and busiprone (as needed)

 

[sun seeker]

Thanks for sharing @Yunie. So you're saying you didn't have memory problems, but stopped obsessing over the past. That's not a bad thing!

Does anyone have experience with how being on an antidepressant affects them if they are doing work on recovering memories in therapy while on it?

 

[sun seeker]

Mods, would you be able to change the title of this thread to "Antidepressants and Traumatic Memory Recall?" That is closer to what I am trying to get at. Thanks so much.

 

[SnowBirch22]

Try a lower dose or a different anti-depressant. It's a case of trial & error until you get it right. I'm taking two anti-depressants at a relatively low dose daily. I've been on them for a couple of years now. They don't make me numb. They make me less down & help my brain process things better. I was once on citalopram on a medium/high dose but it numbed me too much. I hated it. Prozac gave me a horrific reaction & I stopped that. My doctor switched me onto escitalopram & amitryptiline on low doses. It has helped me so much. I can function & it just helps me feel relatively normal & stable. It doesn't fix everything. And bear in mind that it takes a whole to build up, & how you feel initially can put you off taking the pills. This is a common mistake. A tip from me is to take them before you go to sleep. It means that the initial side effects don't get noticed as you sleep through them & they've kicked in by the time you wake up.

 

[user27357]

My experience mirrors what you are already hearing, the side effects of the SSRI's were too many and severe to tolerate in most cases, and even with the ones that seemed to do the most good I lost some other important parts of my existence.

I wouldn't characterize it as memory loss, more like a loss of the desire to find answers to every little problem that comes along including coming to grips with past memories and traumas. Some might say thats obsession but in my case I think of it as problem solving. Solving problems is a lot of what I do in my job and I noticed that along with the ability to have a memory of a past trauma come and go in my mind without my thoughts jumping immediately to the Why did it happen and How to fix it questions that waste so much of my energy and time (a pro ssri effect) I also lost the desire and drive needed to work the problems I solve at my work (a negative effect).

I found myself not caring about the past so much but soon after that I found myself not caring if I got projects designed and implemented in time. I had to drop them.

And yes, I started right back at trying to work the problems of a traumatic childhood and multiple incidences of trauma from my work as an EMT in the nineties.

Just my perspective, hope it helps

 

[SnowBirch22]

I'm interested in the experiences of people who have been on antidepressants and then stopped them....

My wife says than Clonazepam is known to interfere with memory. The combination of the two medications you're taking will interfere with memory a lot. This is from her experience.

 

[sun seeker]

Clonazepam is known to interfere with memory

Interesting. I had no idea. Is the same true of other benzoids, do you know?

The combination of the two medications you're taking will interfere with memory a lot

You mean Clonazepam and amitriptyline? I'm not yet taking the latter, just considering it. The two I'm currently taking are Clonazepam and Zopiclone. Do you have any sources for this or is it just her experience? I'm very interested and appreciate any information you have.

 

[sun seeker]

I wouldn't characterize it as memory loss, more like a loss of the desire to find answers to every little problem that comes along including coming to grips with past memories and traumas.

Good to know, because this is exactly what I do need the mental clarity to be able to do.

And yes, I started right back at trying to work the problems of a traumatic childhood and multiple incidences of trauma from my work as an EMT in the nineties.

Sorry, just to be sure I'm clear on this, do you mean when you came off the meds you had to start back at the beginning working on traumatic memories?

I think I'm coming to a conclusion here about the antidepressants. I just need to work out what to do about sleep.

 

[SnowBirch22]

Interesting. I had no idea. Is the same true of other benzoids, do you know?


You mean Clonazepam...

Clonazepam & Zopiclone both mess with memory. I take Zopiclone as well. And my wife has take both. This is from personal experience. It's not for nothing that it says not to operate heavy machinery on the leaflet of Zopiclone. To take both will most definitely zomby you out. Amytriptiline is also a sedative so altogether you'll be very tired & zoned out. I find I have problems remembering what I did after I've taken Zopiclone during the night. It sometimes gives me a bit of a euphoric feeling & makes me feel safe. I find sometimes I'll tell my wife something after she's taken Zopiclone & she won't remember it if it's within 30 mins of her falling asleep. It's the same with me. But I also have memory problems due to CFS as well.
As for Amitryptiline... I find it helps me remember things I've long forgotten. It has unlocked a lot of memories I'd buried.

 

[sun seeker]

So @SnowBirch22, to be sure I'm clear on this, you're saying the Clonazepam and Zopiclone interfere with short-term memory, but that amitriptyline actually helped you work with recovered memories? In that case (if I have the same reaction as you, and everyone of course is different) I might be better of substituting the amitiptyline for the Zopiclone. Except for the numbing effect. I still want to care about what I am remembering. This is so complicated....

 

[SnowBirch22]

Yes that's right. Clonazepam & Zopiclone. Amitryptiline helped me remember my childhood trauma slowly.

As for memories... Reading your post has helped me feel that I'm not alone in what I'm experiencing. Amitryptiline has sort of opened the black box that I have in my head. I had huge gaps in memory from my childhood & it's helped me get bits & pieces of what happened back. It's wry difficult to deal with & it's made my PTSD go quite bad. But I can start to work through what occurred & why I feel the way I do. Medication affects everyone differently. But it's not unheard of what you're experiencing.