I was kind of reveling in my anonymous self help here, which was great and about all I've been doing for three days. Seriously, I've been sitting around in old sweats, I joined this forum after five root canals in one day, ( thanks again NHS and EU imported Slovakian dentists that paid for dental school with goats!) And its been a very nice and surprisingly helpful place to be.
One surprising thing for me happened today. I know exactly what my hurdles are and arent. Maybe some of you can relate to this. When I am pressed to admit a past trauma, I immediately throw out something that sounds horrible and is true, but not what I'm trying to hide.
I work as a counselor, due to what I can only say must be be bad karma and I try to have a sense of humor about, what I got my degrees in and where, limit my choices somewhat.
My volunteerism, was not really altruism. I grew up around Stanford. This kid that raped a girl, his mothers statements and his fathers statements, and more to the bone for me, the Judge involved, hit major nerves.
Triggered in all caps TRIGGERED. There.
I was a girl fro the wrong side of the tracks in this town, these boys have historically behaved with impunity. The defense statements of his parents, not this stupid boy, are what made my blood boil. They knew we went home to worse abuses of our sense of selves. We were unworthy.
I have, at the time of this post, better educational credentials than this kid does, no one paid for it but me, I spent my teenage years a runaway.
I have a squeaky clean criminal record. He does not.
My family dysfunction is my shame in my home town. His family shame is national.
That is progress.
One surprising thing for me happened today. I know exactly what my hurdles are and arent. Maybe some of you can relate to this. When I am pressed to admit a past trauma, I immediately throw out something that sounds horrible and is true, but not what I'm trying to hide.
I work as a counselor, due to what I can only say must be be bad karma and I try to have a sense of humor about, what I got my degrees in and where, limit my choices somewhat.
My volunteerism, was not really altruism. I grew up around Stanford. This kid that raped a girl, his mothers statements and his fathers statements, and more to the bone for me, the Judge involved, hit major nerves.
Triggered in all caps TRIGGERED. There.
I was a girl fro the wrong side of the tracks in this town, these boys have historically behaved with impunity. The defense statements of his parents, not this stupid boy, are what made my blood boil. They knew we went home to worse abuses of our sense of selves. We were unworthy.
I have, at the time of this post, better educational credentials than this kid does, no one paid for it but me, I spent my teenage years a runaway.
I have a squeaky clean criminal record. He does not.
My family dysfunction is my shame in my home town. His family shame is national.
That is progress.
