Childhood Thoughts On Possible Emotophobia (fear Of Strong Negative Emotions)

[Chelsie S]

So today in my latest therapy session my counselor and I think I might have a phobia (like true, crippling panic) about the idea of feeling sad - or really anything below happy. I did some research on my own and it looks like there is a name for it: emotophobia. We had played with this idea several months ago but we didn't exactly delve into it. After a weekend of pure panic and anxiety over the thought of being sad/depressed, we did some serious left brain thinking and he made this suggestion.

It honestly makes a lot of sense. I grew up in a narcissistic/authoritative family that wouldn't allow me to feel anything but happy. If I was anything less I got in trouble. My mom, even today, is on a "no negativity" rampage in order to help herself feel happier. We're not allowed to be sad/mad around her in order to preserve her happiness.

My therapist thinks that because of this constant interaction, and because I was never truly taught to cope with negative emotions, I have learned to fear them because being sad means I'll get in trouble. It feelsl ike it could mean that I could lose myself in that emotion (we have a long history of bipolar and suicide on both sides of the family) and go crazy.

It would explain so much about what I've learned to hate: any move that is serious (could make me angry/sad/has a heavy negative emotional tone), why I dislike the idea of death (both on my part and others), why I don't like others to be sad, why I struggle with the idea of being out of control (especially with my emotions), and why I hate it when other people could see me sad/think I'm sad. It all makes sense and I literally almost feel relieved.

Do any of you also struggle with this? I didn't even think that this was a possibility or could be a phobia, but it would perfectly explain all my strange mannerisms. Any tips on how to manage this?

 

[Rumors]

Yes I don't feel comfortable feeling sad, angry, depressed. I loved in a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" family. Plus, my mom suffered from depression so anything that threw her off the apple cart would garner you a visit from my dad and his belt. So I never wanted to be sad or show emotion bc I didn't want to get in trouble. Now I struggle with it. I don't know how to do it. When I try it envokes extreme anxiety and I fear that everyone around me will leave me bc I am sad. Ugh. Sucks.
As for your mom, someone needs to let her know that not all sad people kill themselves and suffer from depression bc they are sad. It sounds as if her experience has been slightly skewed by her family history. It sucks for you though because there is no way to get out of that unless she helps herself without some sort of confrontation. I think you are going to just have to say "Mom, you know what? I am sad today and if you can't handle that then I think you need to take a step back and look at yourself. People get sad and it is healthy to sit with that for a while instead of pretending I am happy all the time. I hope you can support that...." Good luck!!!

 

[Freedomfighter]

Well, happiness is an emotion we all want, a state of hapiness we all want to be in. I roll with the negative emotions, and yes I do hate how intense the negative emotions are since getting PTSD. I guess negative emotions we connect with the negative ocurrences that brought us to PTSD. Then when encountering similar situations, people, their names, and so on then the intense sadness really is extremely painful.