How Do You Know Something Is A Problem?

[Ronin]

@The Albatross, I think that's for granted the context for Scout's question, while in therapy, was personal.

However, it's in Discussion area. Meaning it's also rather clear Scout is being curious about other people, and their ideas and criteria for 'problem', not because it'd be a problem to be solved but because it's an interesting topic as is?

Failing to see what the beef is basically. Just confused.
Edited to add: Was this a literal reading of the thread title, 'How do you know'?

 

[Deleted member 34424]

I know when something becomes a problem when it starts effecting my life in a negative way.

 

[scout86]

@Cashew , exactly. My T may have wanted to know how I'd answer the question, but I think he mostly wanted me to think about the answer to the question. The more I thought about it, the more different possibilities I could see. I was curious about how others would see it and wondered if others would find the question as interesting as I did.
Something that's occurred to me is that I rather enjoy problem solving and, maybe, the next time I encounter a really disturbing problem, I should try looking at it as more of a fun challenge than a source of anxiety.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I imagine first you would have to know what You consider a problem. Does it cause you discomfort? Physically, mentally or emotionally?
Does it unnecessarily burden you financially?
Does it waste your time?
Do you lie about it or are others lying to you?
Does it effect your ability to make a living and is changeable ?

Is it a changeable negative influence in your life?

It could be as simple changing the wattage of a lightbulb to stop eye strain pain when reading or complex as moving away with young children from a extremely abusive spouse and both adults are addicted to drugs.

A problem has a feasible solution that you can control or change.

We can't change other people, so we change our reaction to them or cut them out of our lives.

We accept what we can't change. Like our past.

So then in that instance is the problem the past or not accepting and letting go. For myself it doesn't feel like I have control over it and that is the problem. What I feel becomes my belief and so the lie has control.
The problem is not owning my power and giving it away to the lie.

So I keep working @scout86 and I know you will too.

 

[scout86]

The problem is not owning my power and giving it away to the lie.

Here's another idea from my T that I've found useful. Many of us, much of the time, are operating on information that's not up to date and accurate. It might be stuff we were told, stuff we assumed, stuff that once was accurate, stuff that never was accurate, lots of things. He says we owe it to ourselves to operate from the most up to date, accurate information we can.

Those lies, are not up to date and accurate. :)

 

[sun seeker]

Once you've identified a problem, we agreed there are kind of three things you can do with that. Change things, accept them as they are, or walk away from the situation. That totally makes sense to me, but if anyone has any other ideas, I'd love to hear them.

#4: Stay stuck in the problem.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

@Alice.in.Wonderland

Brilliant. Yes, this is the Q:

A problem has a feasible solution that you can control or change.

Giving away power is not always to a lie. Sorting is exhausting, rebuilding and deciding don't care what was done, I can know who and be who I am anyway.

 

[Tinyflame]

@scout86 , could I ask a couple of the most stupid of questions on earth?

How do we know information is up to date or accurate, & secondly is this information about ourselves, or the problem(s), or both (or neither, specifically)?

(Thank you. :hug: )

 

[EveHarrington]

Major problems?

They interfere with normal functioning.

Minor problems?

This one is tough------it's a lot easier for minor problems to go unnoticed, sometimes for long periods of time.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

This is a very good thread and I would like to see a thread how we define power but I am enjoying this one at the moment
I am learning how interesting choices of words are.
The word problem, without looking it up in the dictionary, implies something needs to be solved. Something needs to change.

You gather as much information as you can. Look at the problem from different angles. This process alone could change your perception of the problem.

Learning to recognize a small problem that has the potential to become a big problem so you nip it in the bud.

Problems are opportunities.

To change our surroundings, our interactions and ourselves.

The information is out of date when we find it no longer to be true.

The world is not flat.
Cigarettes are harmful
I am no longer a powerless child
If I am a victim now, it's my choice

Defining a lie would probably make another good thread.

@Changeling said " giving away power is not always to a lie.

This is why I would like to see separate threads on giving away power or defining power and defining a lie.

I learned I had no power. Without power how can one have any esteem for the self? One can share power but never give it away. It leads to problems when you do :-)

 

[Ronin]

Here's another idea from my T that I've found useful. Many of us, much of the time, are operating on information that's not up to date and accurate.

I'm so printing this reminder.

Multilike & grateful bow for the reminder. :ninja::tup:

 

[Ronin]

#4: Stay stuck

#5 At least don't dig deeper, eventual:

#6 Have fun at where you are, if you're gonna be in that hellhole for a time.