It's Not My Fault Anymore

[sonicwhite]

i won't go into why my ex is the reason I suffer so much. But her abusive tone to the way she used her body to flatter other men while with me. She doesn't understand the pain she caused. How afflicted I am by the way she treated me and then left me while I was still in a psychosis.


God reminds me that she lost me not the other way around. She will never find someone who would go to the grave so she could live. My heart is still torn. The nightmares I have of her or so scary. I mean how mobided can they get.


I know a lot of what I go through throughout the day plays into my dreams of her but seeing her hurts me the most. I never want to see her face again.

 

[sonicwhite]

Guess everyone overlooked this. :(

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I didnt overlook it, I just didnt know what you were specifically looking for, took it as venting and didnt have much to say about it specifically.

 

[sonicwhite]

I. Sorry I was half asleep when I said that I guess ppl where over looking it. Yes it was more venting. We need blogs on this forum but I guess we have diarys.

 

[joeylittle]

we need blogs on this forum but I guess we have diarys

That's exactly what the diaries are - places to write free-form about whatever you are wrestling with.

People do read them and respond, too.

And you have one already started here: Way Too Much.

 

[Ronin]

She will never find someone who would go to the grave so she could live.

Frankly, that's a rather fixated way of seeing a person.

You're not a martyr you're seeing yourself for.

Let go of her. She deserves her freedom.
She is not the cause of your so called suffering.

 

[Ronin]

But her abusive tone to the way she used her body to flatter other men while with me.

She's darned free to do with HER body as SHE pleases.

There's nothing abusive in her behavior.
You on another hand, wanting to limit her body autonomy?
Whining about it years later, where you should have moved on already, instead of stalking her and obsessing about her and painting yourself a victim?
That IS abusive. So get a grip.

 

[sonicwhite]

@Cashew

You can get a grip or don't post on my threads.


You have no idea what this woman put me through.

 

[Ronin]

You have no idea what this woman put me through.

Vs

my ex who has done nothing wrong but live her life.

Just from your very thread, not so long ago.

So where's the truth?

You DO realize that she's just living her life, Sonic.
You do realize that she was just a random chick who happened to meet you in a to you important and special, special mess of a time of your life.

You know it yourself, in your clearer thinking times.

 

[sonicwhite]

Hey how about stop posting on my threads. Just because my trauma is different from your doesn't mean I haven't had trauma. I will just assume you never been traumatized and leave it at that.

Mods close the threads.

 

[Ronin]

Buddy, I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying you haven't been traumatized.
I'm saying what you attribute to this lady, and what were other things going on in your life at the time, are two wildly different things.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sadly, Sonic, I think this is exactly why some of us didn't respond to your thread. It is a pattern in your threads where you feel attacked when people give you constructive feedback that doesn't agree with whatever stance you've taken. It's hard to support someone when they only want to hear one type of "support"

I really hope you get into treatment as I have a feeling that this negative thinking style is somehow tied into your addictions and drug use.