Way Too Much.

[sonicwhite]

My legs are heavy. My feet hurt. I know toiling under the sun is my purpose in life. To enjoy what I do. Make memories of it. Be thankful to God and keep Hos commandments. Please God. I know working was the best thing for me. I forgot about my problems. I always put you first. I was not a stumbling block to anyone. Then came the anxiety and obsessive thoughts that I was dead and at God Judgment, there is nothing scarier than to think your about to be judged and sent to hell. My response to it was cover myself in my covers and just wait for death to come. It wasn't until somebody said I have pure o OCD. That I have obsessive thoughts of the worst outcome and cannot get over the loop that it makes. So I accepted my fate. I pushed thru it, I just said ok, whatever life this is I'm going to enjoy it and then whatever happens happens.



The antidepressant work very well for the obsessive thoughts. But the thoughts where so terrifying that I started to dream about Gods judgment. I started to see friends and family thrown in the lake of fire. I saw a lake full of chopped up ppl and I was like why. .??? Why is this happening to me.?



It gave me the strength to resist porn because I thought God was trying to teach me not to look at it.



Well the dreams kept going on and on until today they have morphed into things I deal with on a daily basis and the obsessive thoughts plus the psychotic episode I had in 05. So all in all my twenties sucked and I want to enjoy my thirties.

 

[sonicwhite]

I want to say that while I’d been in the pit of despair Jesus had been the only peace I’ve ever obtained.

When I first came to Christ I had the most profound peace and joy I could ever imagine. It flipped over night. My pain from a psychotic illness and trauma vanished.

I want to tell y’all that while I’m going through detox I’ve come to know that my Lord and Savior is drawing me back into that relationship of love again.

I want to say that I’m a backslider. But, God is forgiving me again. Please come to the cross. You’ll have the most profound joy you’ve ever experienced.

 

[sonicwhite]

I want to tell you if you’re a follower of Christ please beware of wolves in sheeps clothing, who are stumbling blocks and prevent this from growing.

When I first came to Christ in 06 I had the most profound joy and peace. I was invited to a church. I was like ok the Lord is wanting me to go to this church.

Soon I realized the heart of the pastor. He told me it’s ok to smoke weed and told me he had so much wrapped in wrongdoing.

He boasted how he goes to Amsterdam and places like that to get high.

As soon as he said that I saw a dark cloud envelope him. I realized this man is not who he says he is.

Upon waking in 2010 I heard a voice say Revelations 3:7. Upon reading it I heard a voice say thru His word, I will make those who call themselves Jews. (Christians) tho they are not but are liars.

I will make them fall at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you.


Please pray for these folks. They are truly lost. I’m so scared and I know the end result of their blasphemy. Please Lord have mercy on us.


When I was in jail after my NDE.

I saw Christ for about two months.

His hair is white. He had the most piercing eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s lowly and gentle at heart. He whispered thru the door

Heartbeat 180.

Meaning, let Christ into your heart, He will turn your life around.

I want to see Him in His glory. Guys the time is Now to give your life to Jesus. Only Ge will give you the joy and peace you’ve always longed for.

You can accept my testimony or throw it out. But if you don’t have Gods word you won’t believe it. Please pray for me that God will restore His divine and awesome plan to this prodigal Son.

 

[sonicwhite]

Revelations 1:14

His head and his hair were white like wool, as white as snow. And his eyes were like flames of fire.