Ptsd Is Ruining My Relationship With Everyone

[Nevermore]

@GrayOwl
The waves. I think there's so much that's not understood about our emotions and about PTSD.
These waves were not controllable for me - much as others thought they should be. That's why you can't hate yourself @CMan - it's some kind of natural healing process.
it was almost unbearable for me for a couple of years, not much seemed to help.
Now I'm 7 years down the track and it's quite rare for that wave to wash over me and not as intense as it was.

 

[Deleted member 29311]

@Nevermore @scout86

Thanks for sharing as well and for the kind words, I don't wish this on anyone although it helps to talk about it with people who've experienced the same thing.

It just makes me feel like a really bad person and honestly I can tell when I'm about to have a bad meltdown, I can usually tell a week ahead of time because my mood and everything starts plummeting.. I just wish I could stop it from happening although every time I try to stop it, it happens one way or another so I'm going to start medication tonight for the first time and hopefully find something that works.

 

[Deleted member 29311]

My mom found out about what happened with me and my dad and she told me that I should know he doesn't mean it.. that it was just a mistake and I'm welcome at any time.

 

[Nevermore]

Yes, I can tell too when a bad meltdown is coming and yet I can't stop it from happening.
Medication does help - I took it for a While. Gives you some space and time, tones all those feelings down so they are handleable.
But getting a great therapist has helped me more than anything - sonewhere and someone safe to go to where I didn't have to hide how I really felt. Someone who helped me understand what was happening and how to live through all that.
Listening to Buddhist talks helped too.
"this too will pass" !!

 

[GrayOwl]

When I used to engage my wife and family with outbursts or arguments I found, from an awesome T, something that helped.

Part 1: He asked me to think about when this was all occurring did it bother me that they were hurting? (No blame or blaming allowed here - just simply view the situation as if I was watching a National Geographic tv documentary. We are not discussing blame or "who" here)
Of course it did. I didn't want them to be hurting any more than I was. Yes, it bothered me that they were hurting.

Part 2: Could I possibly detach from the conflagration enough to just simply say: "I am sorry that you are hurting right now." or "I am sorry if I have done anything to hurt you right now."

Part 3: No analysis. Conversation over. Done.

I can always go back to it later. Pick at it. Whatever. Key word is "detach". Somebody close to me is hurting. I don't wish that to be happening. Maybe that matters more to me than anything going on in my head. T didn't tell me I had to do it - he "suggested" that maybe, just maybe, someday, I could try it. Just once. He said I was to do so with NO anticipations or expectations whatsoever.

I repeat part three here: Done. Because it's hard for me to do just that. I complicate things.

It was simple. Don't apologize. Just be sorry for the hurt or pain that is there.

Part 4: Expect no results. See what happens. After a while when I thought "I" was ready and meant it, I tried it. I made the statement. I meant it. And kept my mouth shut.

It's helped me in different ways to this day.

 

[Deleted member 541]

You know, we all have bad days here and there, but your right you screwed up. I did today too at the hospital with the Dr that was trying to help me because I've been sick with breathing issues. Ok, so we both know that we screwed up, Thats acknowledgement.

Then there is the fact that you knew you weren't in the greatest of moods days prior. Ok, that's the body/mind way of telling you that something ain't right, so you really NEED to start paying attention to the warning signs. When you feel this way, try and figure out what's going on that may have caused it, and then try and come up with a way to fix it, or to reduce the anxiety that it's giving you. If that fails, please don't decide to go out for an outing, cause you know that you're setting yourself up for failure. Just don't do it. Take care of you first!!!!!

Yes, meds made work, but it's a hit or miss with them and trial and error, so don't get discourage if something doesn't work. Keep at it. Therapy therapy therapy................. Good luck, and it does get better, but only if you put in the work to get there......

 

[X360pt]

Be patient dude. "Good things comes to those that wait" so remain strong And keep fighting all those negative moments and turn them into positive ones.

I can relate to this as I also have times when I'm well then one week I notice a difference in my brain , it's like the feel good chemicals disappear and then I feel like crap…

We're all here for you to talk to.

 

[GrayOwl]

Thank God for Mom's, eh? They're pretty cool.

 

[X360pt]

I can't remember how many times I've felt utterly awful… not knowing which direction to take.

It's bloody tough mate! But I have hope that all these bad moments we all have, are there for a purpose.

 

[Deleted member 29311]

Near the end of my first meltdown today, I asked my girlfriend why she wasn't saying anything.. She replied ''there's nothing I can say, I've already told you everything and I keep telling you to take medication and you keep pushing it off, I don't know what else to say or do''. She then said that she felt really hurt and I apologized many times because I genuinely realize what I've done wrong after my emotions subside.

Afterwards I asked her ''Can you insult me? Honestly, is there anything about me that you can't stand or anything about me that makes me a failure, be brutal, I want you to be honest. What is it about me that sucks?'' and she said ''I can't..'' and I said ''Seriously please just go, there's nothing you can say to hurt me so don't worry..''. After that she said ''I can't because I love you too much and I don't want to hurt you, I just can't do it I'm being serious, I can't do it.''.

This made me think a lot.. I'm not sure why I'm writing this here although I guess it's just something to think about.

 

[Deleted member 29311]

Thank God for Mom's, eh? They're pretty cool.

Haha yeah, they're pretty awesome! I'm an adult yet my mom says I'm always going to be her baby lol she's always checking up on me making sure I'm ok.. she's really cute.

 

[X360pt]

Haha yeah, they're pretty awesome! I'm an adult yet my mom says I'm always going to be her baby lol she's...

Second this.