Sufferer Recently Diagnosed With Ptsd, Small Time Overseas, Med. Retired L.e. Officer

[EveHarrington]

Welcome to the forum! :)

 

[intothelight]

@AlwaysWatchUr6-Smith Welcome to the forum and I hope you find the information helpful. There is a related forum, mycombatptsd.com you might also want to check out.

 

[Chem Lady]

I don't know your wife, maybe she's different than me. But I want my husband to share his life with me. That's why I married him. I haven't experienced what he has, but I still want to know it. I'll try to imagine his experiences if I have no reference for them, and, if I can't imagine them, I will believe him about what he tells me happened and how he feels about it and I will care about him for his experiences. Your wife may want to do these things for you too. If so, you may be denying yourself a deeper marriage and some great support and care as you work through this difficult disorder. Consider sharing with her.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Dude, that last "cup" explains EVERYTHING!!!! My wife is trying to understand why I have b...

This post says SO much about what you are feeling, that if you could let her read just this one, you wouldn't have to actually speak the words. Just a thought, to let her "inside" for just a moment. I know it's hard to get conversations started....
You have a lot to look forward to, with a son, and moving...you WILL get better because you are reaching out. That's THE most important thing of all! Realizing that you can't do it alone, and you shouldn't have to!
:hug:Blessings and Hugs sent your way!!!:hug:

 

[AlwaysWatchUr6-Smith]

Chem Lady.......It's definitely taken a toll on the marriage, but I would NEVER want anyone to imagine or experience 1/2 the stuff I've dealt with. It's cool of you to try doing that though. That's a hard thing to do. To imagine it is one thing, but to actually be there and have the emotions of the experience is waaaaaaayyyyy different. Just the crack and the wiz of the rounds coming in by your head, that alone turns into sweats and anxiety. The bad thing is we live by Camp Shelby, where the Guard does training. So unfortunately the sound of mortar rounds is something else when they do training. Imagine lying in bed and you hear night maneuver training start, and then the mortars start!!!! I can't exactly sleep with earplugs in in case something happens around my house. If that's not enough, police sirens start Y heart to start raising. I have so many triggers, I'm honestly surprised I'm still sane!! But she understands that for the most part. The hardest times come when she wants to watch a specific tv show, say something like the murder shows on ID Network. She gets pretty aggravated because I don't want to watch it. Otherwise, it somewhat ok, but she still doesn't understand. My mom has NO CLUE about anything in relation to what I feel or my triggers.

 

[Enaila]

I was diagnosed about 3-4 years ago and have just been able to let my mom know I have PTSD. As you learn ways to ground when triggered, things might improve. Triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, hypersensitivity, startling with noises is something most of us with PTSD experience to one degree or another. I have been able to have help calming by reading threads and connecting with others on this site. I hope it helps you too. Welcome.

 

[Chem Lady]

AlwaysWatch,
I totally respect your thoughtfulness. It's probably just me. I have a very high tolerance for hearing terrible stories and caring about them. I feel like I get better at being understanding and I feel wiser for understanding the horrors of the world. I think that's because I can't stand ignorant people telling me how to cope with the things I've experienced. I don't want to be like them. I want to allow people to have their own experiences and not be a jerk about it.
I think it would be surreal to have heard bullets whizzing past your head! And to hear mortar regularly after that... I couldn't do it. Actually I couldn't do it now. My startle response and sound sensitivity are too bad just to hear that stuff! Earplugs are my lifesaver! I wear them to sleep, trusting that my husband will wake me if he hears anything. If I'm alone at night, then I don't wear them.
I hope you can find good support here and that this is a place where you CAN share what you've experienced and how your body is responding to it.

 

[AlwaysWatchUr6-Smith]

AlwaysWatch,
I totally respect your thoughtfulness. It's probably just me. I have a very high toleran...

Let me say that I don't think that you think I'm a jerk, at least I hope not, lol. I in no means meant anything disrespectful by what I said, I just do not want anyone else having to experience the same things. Like I said, I admire that you would go that far. As far as the startle response, ummm yeah...lol, I can only be waken up by either someone raising their voice calling my name or touching my feet. If you touch me anywhere other than that, I have a tendency to grab the throat and draw back to punch until it takes that split second for me to figure out who you are and what is going on. I hate it so bad. I was visiting my mom last week and my little boy kissed me on my head and I woke up and drew back on him. That stuff hurts me so bad, but awkwardly he understands, and he'll be 9 in August. No matter how old though, that's my little boy, my life, and it hurts even doing it. In reference to the mortar rounds, that, thankfully, is not a lot. Only when a new group of guys is heading overseas. It's not really that loud, but once you hear it enough, it stays SO loud with you. It may just be me though. Well, I've talked enough. I mainly just wanted to clear up my statement on last post. Thanks, and will talk soon!!

 

[Chem Lady]

No judgement here at all! I just wish you all the best!