So Much Despair

[sun seeker]

So I'll do it this way.... hotline-rainn-org

So this one is geared towards victims of sexual assault. While that has happened to me, it isn't the issue bothering me right now. Is that the only thing they want people to talk about?

 

[LifeInterrupted]

So this one is geared towards victims of sexual assault. While that has happened to me, it isn't th...

No .... It doesn't have to be. They are still trained to talk to you about whatever you need to talk about.

 

[LifeInterrupted]

And that is the link that once you click on chat and are waiting in line you can't exit out of that window at all. Or let your phone screen go on sleep mode. You have to keep it on

 

[sun seeker]

Okay, got it. I'm on a computer anyway, so that shouldn't be a problem.

I would say God found a way for me to listen and find you on here

Hadn't thought of that. Thank you.

 

[LifeInterrupted]

Okay, got it. I'm on a computer anyway, so that shouldn't be a problem.


Hadn't thought of that....

Sure. No problem. Good luck!

 

[sun seeker]

Tried that. Felt worse. Sigh.

My issues are just too unusual. I felt like I was explaining to a human what it's like to be an alien.

 

[sun seeker]

I wish therapy sessions came with a guarantee. Like, you could redial back to how you were feeling before the session, if you found that you felt worse afterwards.

 

[sun seeker]

The person on chat had a totally different premise about attachment from the one my therapist and I are working with. I could tell pretty quickly that I was going to be triggered more than I already am if I stuck around.

 

[sun seeker]

I desperately, desperately want to stop feeling until something here shifts. And nothing is working. If it doesn't get better by tomorrow I will seriously consider throwing in the towel and going to a hospital. I'm desperate and in so, so much pain.

 

[sun seeker]

I sent an e-mail to one of my potential rides to the hospital in case of emergency, just to see if the person would be available tomorrow.

I feel like there is no more room here for anything to go wrong. I'm really on the edge of "I seriously cannot take this one more minute."

 

[sun seeker]

I can't even get any sleep, in spite of all the medication I took. The pain doesn't stop, ever. And my therapist didn't answer me, didn't call yesterday like he said he would. I can't stand this pain anymore.

 

[digger]

There is no employer, we work for the clients directly. His closest friend/neighbour is out of town. It's down to me. Literally.

If you believe that he is incapable of caring for himself without your assistance to the point that you can't even take a day off for yourself, then other agencies need to get involved. You need to be able to take time for yourself if needed and it sounds like right now it is needed. If you had a medical emergency that left him without care then someone else would need to step in, the principle is the same.

I might be off the mark here, but do you think clinging to the idea that you can't possibly take any time out is because you're worried that taking time out will leave you more alone with yourself? I find it interesting that you can see that your colleague is either entitled to, or needing of, time out because of bereavement, but that you are unable to give your own distressed state the same priority.