Boundary Issues

[JFSurvivor]

I have major boundary issues. I met this guy online and I have basically spilled my life to him and I haven't known him all that long. Does anyone else struggle with this? I think I have codependency.

 

[sedna]

I have major boundary issues. I met this guy online and I have basically spilled my life to him and...

Yes. In fact Im going to a group therapy thing starting next week in person thats for people with that problem and Im even afraid to go to that in person. Its not quite the same thing as codependency but you can have both at the same time. Trauma or abuse can make your instincts for protecting yourself around other people go to extremes one way or the other, sometimes without any apparent reason. Like someone that would make anyone else nervous, you have no guard up around, and a normal situation or person makes you shut down.

 

[Lucycat]

I think I have codependency.

What do you mean by codependency? You say you haven't known this guy long. Would you describe it as a 'relationship' already?

 

[J_trustno1]

Hell YES!!! I have no boundaries, I am too easily manipulated that I have been used and abused :( :cry:. I hate this :(

 

[JFSurvivor]

What do you mean by codependency? You say you haven't known this guy long. Would you describe it as a 'relationship' already?

I don't know what I would call it. I haven't known him long though.

 

[JFSurvivor]

Hell YES!!! I have no boundaries, I am too easily manipulated that I have been used and abused :( :cry:. I hate this :(

agreed :-(

 

[sedna]

@J_trustno1 It felt wrong to read your post and the click the word 'Like'....but you know what I mean.

This boundary thing has been the single most ruinous disaster of a defect I've had my entire life and it has RUINED my entire life.
BUT...I am not dead yet. Just middle aged :depressed:. Perhaps it is possible to finally learn to tell the right people to F**k off....and stop running away from the wrong people.

I will find out at this group therapy course that I have committed to.....because it gives no refunds.

If at the end of these ten weeks, I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend , a room mate, or have become a babysitter.....then it is indeed not possible for me to learn boundaries. I will then commence working from home only and spending my time eating oreos and talking with people here exclusively.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you just walk away from him?

 

[JFSurvivor]

Why would I want to? He's nice...I just have boundary issues...

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah I think that you may want to take a harder look at why you tell all for someone you don't know all that well. Does it mean you're a codependent? Eh maybe, maybe not... but as a rule of thumb it's better to process some things and do some work ourselves before we look to others. Neediness for acceptance or anything attracts all sorts of potential difficulties. Didn't know you were already talking about boundaries... yup, I highly recommend them.

 

[joeylittle]

@JFSurvivor - would you mind sharing how old you are? And I'm sorry that I can't recall - are you in therapy, and have you been diagnosed with anything other than PTSD?

 

[JFSurvivor]

I am 21. I turn 22 the 26th. I am in therapy and I have been diagnosed with PTSD, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression and possibly bipolar.