Impossible Situation

[Casey_03]

The last time he was in the hospital the nurse ended up having to sedate me so that I could sleep for two hours. I'm almost wondering if I need to go back to the hospital, because I realize that a lot of my sleep problem is related to insomnia and my need to have very specific conditions that aren't realistic with a baby. In other words, it's not only that the baby doesn't sleep enough, it's also that I can't sleep through noise, or fall asleep in certain conditions. I figured that after two months I'd get used to sleeping in less than ideal situations and be able to sleep through noise, but that's not happening at all

 

[SoSadGuilty]

The last time he was in the hospital the nurse ended up having to sedate me so that I could sleep for...

You poor thing :hug: I'm kinda out of ideas right now....

 

[Casey_03]

@SoSadGuilty It's okay. I don't mean to shoot down every idea; I've just tried everything I can think of already. Maybe I can try to sleep in my bathtub if I hire a nanny for a few hours.

 

[SoSadGuilty]

@SoSadGuilty It's okay. I don't mean to shoot down every idea; I've just tried ever...

Oh no I didn't mean you were shooting everything down just that I'm stumped. Lol @bathtub idea, I'd bet you'd sleep you know!!

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I don't produce enough breastmilk in one go to pump ahead of time. It sucks, for so many reasons. I've been taking supplements to try to produce more, but I still fall very very short.

This is the problem I had with my first son. I took fenugreek and blessed thistle. I also ate hummus and oatmeal and drank mother's milk tea. I pumped after every feeding in order to train my breasts to produce more. Eventually it paid off, but I never could stop taking the supplements until he was almost done breastfeeding. It was hard. It was a never ending cycle.

If you could get back to the hospital and get some sleep that way, that sounds like a good option.

 

[Friday]

Take a drawer out of your dresser. Empty it out. Put it on your bed. Put him in it. Put a bottle in it. Lay down beside it. When he wakes up pick up the bottle and put it in his mouth.

You won't have to even open your eyes.

You don't have to be asleep for any of this. You can do it all while awake, laying down, with your eyes shut. But you can also do it while 99% asleep.

***

I was a motherf*cking cow as far as producing milk went. My son was on the upper end of feeding; at the lactation consultants they weighed him before and after eating and his normal? 22oz. Every hour or two. Yup. Just call me Jersey. But I couldn't pump. At most I could get maaaaaaybe half an ounce. Whether I was hooked up to their thousands of dollars fancy schmancy machines, a cheap $5 one from the drugstore, or expressing by hand. I just couldn't pump. My tits were like No. Just no. :banghead: It was hugely frustrating.

I didn't supplement feeding with formula. I supplemented SLEEP with formula!

Took awhile to find one that he liked, that didn't go rancid in 2 hours at room temp. But OMFG was it worth it! :sleep:

 

[Friday]

Also... When looking at the expense of hiring a nanny? Don't underestimate the angels singing on high! Value of 1 night a week. Just one night where you can sleep for 8-12-15 hours straight? Makes the rest of the week of 2-3 hours tolerable.

 

[Casey_03]

I can't take care of him. I don't know which is the lesser of two evils - giving the father the sole custody he's been demanding or giving him to an adoption agency. But I cannot keep him anymore.

 

[Silver.]

Just a thought I am throwing out there, have you looked into donor milk? (milk banks), to help supplement? I am thinking that if you are not making enough milk, that is why he is needing to feed so often and waking up so much in the night.
*hugs and thoughts to you*

 

[Casey_03]

No, he's sort of just a brat about feedings. I can produce between 70-90 ml per feeding, but for some reason he prefers to only eat about 30 each time, and then wake up more often and demand more feedings. Even if I have a bottle with 140, he'll only eat a bit. I think it's easier for his stomach that way. He has stomach problems. I have to give him several meds 15 and 25 minutes before each feeding, then suppositories after. It's a long process. There's never a time when he'll just feed quickly and go back to bed.

 

[Silver.]

That can be typical of babies though. My little one ate very little in the beginning, and it was a slow process getting her to eat more, but she did it as she was able. I wasn't able to breastfeed because I had bronchitis at the time I gave birth, and the meds I need for that would have been harmful to her, but I did have to feed her soy milk, and even then, meds like you, because of her sensitivity. I understand your frustration. Your patience is thin, because you are so overtired. I do hope you can find some resolution to allow you the sleep you need to cope with this.
These feelings of harm, and not keeping him, have you been talking to your doctor about this? It sounds like postpartum to me (and I am NOT a doctor, these are just my thoughts), but I think it would be wise to talk to talk this over, and perhaps the sooner the better x

 

[Casey_03]

I did bring this up with my doctor and met with a shrink, who said it wasn't postpartum but severe sleep deprivation. He gave me melatonin and seemed to think that would solve everything. It didn't, obviously. And the longer this continues, the more I think it'd be better to give him up to someone who can offer him more care. Preferably a whole family rather than just one person who has to work in addition to taking care of him.