Fugue

[joeylittle]

Thanks for sharing. It sounds really rough. Maybe some people with more extreme dissociation can weigh in on how they try and track time.

I really only get confused at night, and it's more flashback-based than dissociative...but I found it helpful to write notes to myself, leaving instructions on what I should do in order to get help. I've never worried about tracking lost time, though.

You might consider getting a second opinion - not to disprove your doc, just to get some different input. I'd also encourage you to speak with your current doc about an arc of treatment, and make sure that they are in collaboration with your therapist - get the release forms done so they can co-ordinate care. Even though there's a lot of intuition and experience that goes into treating dissociation, and they certainly can't tell you exactly how your treatment plan is going to work - they should be able to tell you how they plan on going about it. Don't be afraid to ask either of them if they feel that they have the necessary background to treat you - and if they don't, talk with them about referrals.

 

[trying2movefwd]

And driving around end up lost, having no idea where I am or how I got there. Those times are scary.

 

[Sideways]

I have DID and that's plenty, so have never even wondered about fugue.

But I totally understand how terrifying it must be. I've had experiences where I've forgotten how to drive my car and what city I'm in (v scary when you're behind the wheel), apparently gone shopping with nothing but a pile of new and very weird clothes on my bed (wtf? Literally, where did I get those?). Worst for me was "coming to" at an std check. I'd lost a few days and had apparently had sex with someone and booked myself in for a check (gp told me that's what I'd told them when I booked the appointment anyway). I still have no recollection of having sex, let alone who with. Thing is, I've had at least 2 occasions now where different guys have rocked up at my door and even though I didn't know them from a bar of soap, apparently I DID know them...

I'm not trying to freak you out, just let you know that I think I get the panic you might be feeling.

Managing it, for me, involves a lot of basic mental health care stuff (regular exercise, sleep hygiene etc), and I have a very fixed routine not just for the day, but for each day of the week. I keep a day diary open on my kitchen counter and everything gets ticked off as I do it. I stick with routine appointment times, and routine people and places. And I'm getting very good at leaving a situation pronto when I can tell my SUDS are rising.

Take good care of yourself. It's not easy, but this stuff can be managed. This does not mean you are a risk to yourself forever, or that you need to live in constant fear of the "what if..."

 

[BlueOrange]

One reason why I like communicating via email and forums is because I can re-read things, and check that my understanding at the end matches my understanding at the beginning. I take a lot of notes in meetings, and that can help me from this point of view as well.

I'm not sure if it's realistic to suggest that you take notes, but it might help? I met a woman who experienced fugue once, and she had a service animal who helped, but I'm not sure exactly what the deal was there.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sending :hug: I know this can't be easy but I know that you can get lots of support here from others with dissociation struggles and healing can indeed happen. :hug:

 

[trying2movefwd]

I have DID and that's plenty, so have never even wondered about fugue.

But I totally understand...

Ive done the forgetting how to drive too. But I am able to remind myself after a few minutes what needs to be done..the worst ismixing up break and gas pedals...i stay way behind ppl as much as possible due to this....errr i think? Lol not funny actually

 

[Neverthesame]

I had this happen once. I suppose it would be called a fugue episode.

I was out in the middle of nowhere camping. The best me and the person I was camping with could work out what likely happened was:

Being near a freight train line, every couple hours a CP Rail train would go through the area at high speed. It would also blow it's whistle near the small town it passed through.

This likely startled me a bit (not enough to wake me). I then went sleep walking through the backcountry.
At some point during my staggering around asleep through the dark, I was smacked in the face by a tree branch I walked into, which did wake me.

I then spent the next (don't know exactly how long) wandering around the woods at night with no idea who I was, or what the hell I was doing out in the middle of nowhere with a flak jacket and web gear. Or where my gun was. (I never had a gun to begin with, but it made more sense at the time, considering the rest of the military kit I had on, that I must have had one and lost it.)
I wound up stumbling through the dark untill I happened uopn a farmers house. Probably scared the hell out of the poor guy. But he took me in and called the RCMP. In the hour or so it took for them to get there I had time to sit and warm up. After I'd calmed down, my memory came back. They were nice, considering the inconvenience I surely caused them. They just took me back to the campsite. (No idea how we figured out where that was.)

Then I was really embarrassed about the whole thing.

It never happened again, thank God. Though, I spent the rest of the trip physically tied to something whenever I slept.

This happened the year I was diagnosed, when I was at my most symptomatic. Not a pleasant memory.

Why the train? Not too sure, I don't like trains very much, but it's not related to my trauma.

Why the army kit? The flak jacket is like a security blanket to me. Back then I barely took it off. The web gear is just useful for camping, and goes well with the flak jacket. I never have and still don't, own a gun. Don't know how that got into my head, that I should've had one.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Dissociative Fugue is an explicit disorder, but it is also a part of DID. I had DID for many years. During that time, I experienced fugue states up to something like five days at a time.

Ben