Nightmares Coming Back

[sonicwhite]

Ok, so it has been since 10 days without any gabapentin. I was unsure whether shaking my head up like a bottle can when taking high doses of gabapentin where the reason. But last night like the night before I've been having nightmares again. The thing is I'm always unsure what's causing them. Even tho my doc says I have PTSD I keep thinking its a demonic attack or such.

The dreams are very twisted and not the way dreams are meant to be. I awake with massive anxiety and like a hangover effect. I wasn't feeling well at all. So I guess it's safe to say that my nightmares are brought on by ptsd. And what I have to do to cope is all up to me and my therapist. So while I thought the gabapentin was the cause I must actually have PTSD.

 

[Stickler]

Or it could be gabapentin withdrawals...not so much the drug itself ( because that clears the system pretty fast) but the change in neurotransmitters resulting from getting off something your brain is used to having.
Meaning that it could take a while for things to return to normal.
Put in a call to the Pdoc on Monday.

 

[Kintsugi]

I was unsure whether shaking my head up like a bottle can when taking high doses of gabapentin where the reason

Was the reason for what? The nightmares?

But last night like the night before I've been having nightmares again. The thing is I'm always unsure what's causing them. Even tho my doc says I have PTSD I keep thinking its a demonic attack or such.

I was always under the impression that you were already quite certain you had PTSD.

Here's the thing, Sonic. I think the chances of you suffering from a demonic attack are zero. However, even if you chose to believe you were under some sort of unholy attack, wouldn't it make sense that all those suffering from PTSD are under such attack? Like, why would it be that you have a symptom profile matching a known diagnosis, but you're under demonic attack, and all of us are just suffering from a wholly non-supernatural condition? That doesn't make much sense.

So why not embrace combating it as PTSD, and see how that goes? Sure, yes, your T will be integral in learning to cope, but you can also seek other medication-based interventions, such as prazosin for the nightmares.

 

[sonicwhite]

Why I flip flop is because I can never grasp the idea I have PTSD. Sure with psychosis I know I had and OCD this also. Like my dreams have to be in a certain pattern for me to believe.

Even tho we know that's not the case. I had my trauma I 05 and in 2010 is when I started having nightmares. These nightmares don't really have a theme to them except their scary and I wake up anxious,. So for the most part prazosin only works if I have breaks from it. It doesn't always work.

Ya I'm probably still going through some gabapentin withdrawal but it is nothing compared to when I had to in the past. I just want to fully accept I have PTSD and live on the best way I know how. Instead of calling it a demonic attack. I think me and my therapist are going to have to switch up tactics on how to cope.

 

[sonicwhite]

It is so hard as a Christian to accept that I have PTSD. Maybe because I have had preachers saying it was a demonic attack to just about everything else. The nightmares really don't have one theme. Instead they take pictures of my day to day life and put in something warped.


Now I have been struggling sometime now believing I'll be a husband to someone. That I'll have children. I'm only getting older. And I wished I would of went out on those dates I wanted to. But because I stuck by the bible and Paul tells Timothy to flee from youthful lusts. I just obeyed God.


Now I am really losing faith that I'll ever be with anybody. And I guess that stress alone is enough to give me nightmares about abandonment. So all in all I feel like I'm floating off getting worse. I know life could get better I just don't see it. Gabapentin abuse had to go. So I'm thankful I just stuck it out. Now I know I'll have to apply the same technics to all my cravings but one at a time.


I sure wish I had faith that I am going to be with someone. But like all my waiting has done, it has made me less likely to be willing to go out on dates. I hope God your listening because I feel I did everything asked of me.

 

[Kintsugi]

Right, yes, I can see how believing you're being attacked by demons because some clergymen told you so is way more believable than having PTSD because medical/psychological experts told you so, especially in light of the fact that it seems your interpretation of scripture has thus far led you to a life of loneliness, self-doubt, and unnecessary torment over the things you really want in life.

Perfectly sensible as always, Sonic.

 

[joeylittle]

Hey, @sonicwhite - it's really good that you are accepting you have PTSD. You have a really complicated history with substance abuse, and a lot of that stuff does mess with the brain, too. The most important thing now is to start working through the root cause of the problems that you struggle with, to keep being really honest with your doctors and yourself, and keep building your life.

I think me and my therapist are going to have to switch up tactics on how to cope.

Was your therapist agreeing that you were having demonic attacks? Or, do you mean, you and your therapist are going to start to have to work on PTSD type therapy?

 

[sonicwhite]

Well she knew I wanted to be a minister but no she says its PTSD also. I mean I've been extremely tired lately and just wanting peace of mind. I'm going to stop inviting everything that is Christian in because when I do that I get sicker.