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Sexual Assault "the World Desperatel Needs Angry Females"

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I don't think it's a wrong thing to have a focused issue that's personal to you, and you don't have to water it down. To me, this is similar to not being able to talk about black lives mattering because all lives matter.

Both are true. One is more specific. As long as we make space for each to exist, there isn't a problem.

The problem comes about when people try and put them into a hierarchy. One cannot be more important than the other.

So, yes - there's still a lot of gender inequality, and a lot of assumptions about men v. women, and that's a system that many people (both men and women( buy into. So it can't be a wrong thing to say, 'women have a voice and we can't let men silence it'.

And, men can be allies in that struggling. And, women can be opponents in that struggle. They will, on both sides, no doubt.

Sometimes, messages about equality can get too watered down when they try and be all things to all people, in an effort to avoid being dismissed as a 'special interest'. @4melissa - your post above is a great example of acknowledging how it's not all men, and not all women, and yet, still standing by your experience.

It's important stuff to talk about, how we stand up against what's wrong without fighting over who is more wrong/who gets dibs on 'biggest issue'.
 
thank you for your understanding and wise points. I do agree that minorities would have a greater comprehension of the attitude and actually I stole the quote of the world needing angry women from an indigenous page actually who is tired of seeing their women disappear and murdered.

I just found it very therapeutic as music is a personal favorite for therapy and the angry female voice is a voice not being promoted- and that is too bad, because it heals my soul. (minus a couple)

Again I know females sometimes abuse also that brings in whole new set of societal pressures and I do not want to belittle that - I also thing any victim of abuse would find therapy in channeling the anger. It is so healing ..man. God bless and thanks for letting me vent this has been educational.
 
Anyhow- I have found I can do anything, without being distracted looking for arms to hold and validation because I frankly have had no luck with men, I have lost so much and wasted so much time. I have given and they have taken no thanks, no manners its expected- of course .. I am female, I am "less than".. I can do anything and better - I work harder and I am smarter than these losers who have come my way. This is my path and my anger..and my honesty. No, its not all men- god bless Good men. They are occupied.. and so am I. I do not have time for fake relationships or friends. Empty words with no action. I do not have time to stock their refrigerators and build their gardens ..massage them and f@ck them.. while they sit on their fat asses doing nothing. Man there are some loser exploiters out there. I have been a faithful Christian wife- then he got his citizenship and raped me..despite knowing my weakness.. I no longer have time. My anger will sustain me.. instead of a lover - I have become the fighter. I fix my car, repair electronics and household crap.. and I will not be reduced to servant hood and abuse again. I have chosen to remain alone and it is a hard path, but not as hard as with dead weight strapped to your back kicking your sides. I bucked the trend. I am still getting accustomed to it, but I am finding happiness and the anger ..now is a life giving and protective force. These jerks made it so if it is not all men- the rest no longer have a shot anyway because as far as I can tell it is the majority. Maybe it is my serious flaws rendering me - a pathetic person. I do not think so. Good luck ladies.. with them. I rejoice when you all find happiness. But a few of us will forever step out. Having the tools we need to do it alone. I do not know if I will even be able to have new friendships anymore due to the stalkers. Its ok.. I have 300 + text books, skills and security to keep me busy. When death comes I will not cry despite my strength that keeps my dutiful heart pounding in my chest despite opposition. I think I am stronger than most men and I can be proud. I know this became more about sexual abuse.. but it is after all about anger. I am going to go listen to some heros to round out therapy tonight and motivate a work out. I know- frankly it does not matter. Desperate women are a dime a dozen and exploiters move on without hesitation anyhow. It is not an easy path when it was never what you wanted to end up alone.. to come to accept - you must. Its like I think perhaps- an amputation.. there is grief in it. The selfishness and self absorption of the world sucks- but now that's what I have kind of become in another way. There are still ways I can give and maintain boundries. I know its not just me- I have eyes and ears. There are some low beings on this planet. I pray there is a God whom on my death bed I can adorn myself as his bride- so this day I will be reborn in an eternal home..one unbreakable. I do not get sorrow at the thought someday, but for the sake of the purest love of these kids I fight to try to maintain health and work as long and as hard as possible. I fight so they may have a better future. redefining life. thanks again for letting me vent. Do I hate men? Some from my past yes.. and I will not give chance to hate more. Do I hate you because your male? No. Hurt me however and you cross that line. Side with oppressors and abusers and you will be nothing to me just a weak slob. I do not think I am unreasonable. When men say "not all men" I hear- "leave the door open for me" and I can not afford another chance. Maybe if enough women grew angry and had enough resolve they would begin to monitor their own population. As it is now they continue to do nothing when abusive men cat call and harass. Typical in my opinion for their population from what I can see, that is ..doing nothing, yet expecting more.

Again thanks for letting me vent my personal anger. I feel better externalizing it.
 
Please note that not all of us are scumbags. I hate how some men treat women. I also hate how that makes it difficult for the rest of us to interact with women. I have actually been in situations where I have been abused by women, because I go out of my way to not give any appearance of being abusive toward women. For example, when I was young a girl found out that I would never, ever hit a woman. She slapped me seventeen times to try and make me hit her, and I wouldn't.

I think it is horrible how some men will talk to, or talk about women, and I will call them out on it. I just wanted to say that not all of us men are like that.
 
Thanks for your words RussH, meanwhile I almost lost my job when - not the first stalker- came back to my job yesterday and a confrontation ensued. Having witnesses to his repulsive lies this time saved my job and the man left but my employer is now upset with me (despite telling him for weeks this guy has been stalking me and he denied it) and mad at the man for intervening. - Its healing to hear the words and believe there are a few good guys out there but the reality is that is probably one in million being real about that. I am sure in truth it will pay off for you in the long run. Unless the world is just filled with crap people everywhere and sometimes I wonder, but it is what it is.
 
where rapes are not prosecuted (granted it is improving)
Worst of all, is hearing society's hateful rhetoric about rapists in general, contrasted to the sympathy they feel for particular rapists. What bullshit! This is where I think we should educate people that rapists aren't monsters, they're people...and that's the scary part! They can be loved by people, and still be f*cking rapists who deserve to go to jail for what they've done to someone!!! :) That's just one of the pieces of the puzzle that society is missing because it looks away and avoids rape victims instead of embracing their perspectives and including them in the norms of society. I mean, for godssake! 1 in 4 girls, or is it 1 in 6 girls, by the time she's 18 is sexually assaulted? Is that really something that's not NORMAL? A quarter of all women were sexually assaulted before they were even adults. How can we NOT call that a societal norm? Claim it. Our society allows for 1/4 of girls to be sexually assaulted before they're adults. Clearly, the victim's perspectives are not out of touch with reality now they've experienced such an unfortunate "incident". So, we need to talk about it, when we can. We need to bring it up and confront people with the facts. We're not going to improve society by pretending like we or someone we know isn't a victim of sexual assault. In fact, everyone I've told so far has told me of someone they personally know who was sexually assaulted (or shared their own story of abuse). We should be coming out of the closet and having a f*cking Pride Parade!

I no longer believe others are capable of love
I've recently become quite infatuated with people again. I feel love for them, and I express it. Sometimes I truly feel loved in return. I find that the more I trust myself to protect myself from assholes, the easier I am around people I want to love and the love just shines through. I also found that I am no longer confined by ages or genders or races. I look everyone in the eye and wonder what their story is because I know there are a lot of things about me that people presume, but no one presumes that I was beaten and raped as a child. There's a lot that happens in people's lives and I'm not leaving this earth without knowing some other people's stories. I like knowing individuals. It makes me happy. I feel connected. I find that it's better to have a LOT of people in and out of my life than to have just a few who mean more to me than life itself. It's much more frightening to think of losing someone when there's no one else in your life. Anyway, I completely understand this belief, and I'm moving toward trusting again...wish me luck, lol! :) (So far, it's been great, and I hope you find your way through the fear too)

I also do not understand why suppression of anger if "good" - seems simple systemic oppression of the underprivileged.
EXACTLY! The kind of expression of anger you've written about is absolutely necessary in our society and we DO need more of it! OUTRAGE! We should be outraged when we are outraged by outrageous actions! There is absolutely a "good citizenship" model that disregards the benefits of whistleblowing and of standing up for yourself and others. "Don't interfere" "You don't know what's going on there - don't meddle" I mean, come on people! Anger does lead to action. At least let it lead to you finding out what's going on! At least use anger as the beneficial byproduct of emotions that it is surely meant to be...since most emotions can be expressed through anger. Anger is like the F word. It has so many meanings! It must be part of our emotions for a reason. Use it.

I know there are women abusers also.. God people. argh
Hahaha! This made me laugh out loud! People do like to nail down every possibility. (I've been guilty of this as well.) Still a great response!

I think the term indignation.. may be interchangeable. Is that more socially acceptable?
Look how we strive to make ourselves presentable... and to whom? To people who AREN'T angry when they SHOULD be? Because they're too dignified? Too civilized? Is it civilized for rape to be the norm in a society that abhors rapists? Is it civilized to invite the rapist and his victim to the same family reunion or other engagement and "leave it to them to sort out" their feelings? Who's going to ingratiate themselves to others more at a function like that? The victim who's on edge all night, or the rapist who is still friends with everyone? I mean what the hell PEOPLE! Where is YOUR OUTRAGE?!?! And WHY are you HIDING it?

Also, anger can keep you from contacting toxic people from your past...and that is definitely a good thing.

Anyway...nice thread. Carry on. :)

Ugh, hold on... I skipped the last 3 posts before this one and now I've read a bit of them. I just want to say that in my humble opinion, it is WRONG to demand someone to consider other people's perspectives while they are trying to sort out their own! She's angry. For good reason. She's writing about the wrongs she's dealt with, especially as concerns her gender and as men have related to her. Now you demand that she acknowledge that men are wronged too? f*ck off. I mean that in general. I mean, get a life! Start your own thread about the pain women have caused. I bet there ARE Some gender specific bullying issues that would become more clear. Why force it to all take place in one thread, especially where the OP is clearly struggling to stand up for herself against the men who've hurt her and the men who've stood by...or remained friends with those men who abused her. Wow. Just watching her change her post to suit the equality theme...kind of disturbing, really.
 
@4melissa :)

i empathize with your views.....BUT there is something you need to know about misogynistic men...and that is, how they react to angry women.

The misogynistic male's desire to dominate will only be escalated by an angry women....he will want to overpower her EVEN MORE....Why??? to show her who's boss....teach her a lesson.

Btw, they treat 'beta' males the same way.

Sick isn't it?! :grumpy:

but it's true...law of the jungle....these belligerent bullies will match your anger and then surpass it with even more aggression.

Alpha males subjugate us all....this will never change.

The men who hurt you should die for their crimes.

Peace.:)
 
Some days I wish I could be put in a gladiator ring with them... you say they should die.. yet even justice can not be obtained at this point. There is a time bomb in my chest for the next one. http://www.letstalkabout.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/awesome-martial-arts-takedown.gif

and that's fair, and I feel fine about it. However- I try to avoid first and foremost. But I am not afraid at this point when life is barely worth living . I am a survivor, I have come away after guns to head, left for dead, and stood back up after a lot.. why? the duty of life.. I respect the hero in me even if no one else does.

Even today I had reached out to a "friend" from years back a week ago. Male, games, games games so today I acknowledged for the sake of sanity of self and shut that door fast. No time for talk but hey lets make out.. Ya know he saw I did not have a lot of friends having isolated after the stalker. Glad I shut that shit down before it was to late. Most of my friends in the past were male also. But I have come to see it may be about convenience for them. I have one more,

again I shut out a lot due to the stalker and the fear. He had always been respectful and human so I am hoping he comes through as still the same person granted he may be pissed but seeing also the physical and mental abuse I had been under any person could see through that. I have a handful of female friends but working harder ------------for their money they tend to be busy. So I am haunting this place a bit recently. Over the years these male friends seem to not want to talk but only if its about sex or something making me feel like a cheap whore and I have zero tolerance for it. Thus kiss their asses good bye. I fear they are devolving.. no substance at all. yuck.
 
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CAUTION ! CAUTION ! CAUTION! DO NOT EMBRACE YOUR ANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

Angry people are asking for trouble! Anger only begets MORE anger!

No one will stand with you against the Alpha if you allow your anger to lead your actions!

No one will stand with you against the alpha anyway... because change is futile!
Alpha males subjugate us all....this will never change.

There are more of us than there are of the Alpha males. It's time we stood together. Some of us will be angry women. Some of us will be angry young black men. Some of us will be peace loving hippies. But the problem is that the vast majority of people are controlling their anger by not allowing themselves to feel it because they believe that we are powerless, and to feel the anger and be unable to channel it into change would overwhelm them.

So, they ignore as much of the bullshit that the alpha males...and lets do mention those women who are striving to dominate others as well, prime example Hillary Clinton. There are many women who are using social tactics to manipulate their employees and their peers so they can get ahead and to hell with the consequences. Look at Carly Fiorina who claimed to have seen an abortion video that didn't exist and then takes no responsibility for the effect her claim had on an unstable gun owner in Colorado.

We live in a world where the oligarchy has taken over the American government and is using our vast military to attack countries for their oil and to force them into a centralized banking system. The oligarchy meets every 3 years to pick the candidate they want for our president, and to discuss other laws and treaties they want governments all around the world to embrace so they can farm people into their subservient jobs.

Why are we buying new phones every 2 years? Why are electronics and other items, cars even, disposable nowadays? Why are all the repair jobs practically obsolete? Why are we not allowed to save our own SEEDS? They're centralizing our FOOD supply! So they can control WHO gets it, who deserves to eat, and how much MONEY they will have to pay for it. The middle classes will pay taxes to help the poor afford food, while the oligarchy focuses on controlling everything about our lives by centralizing banking, food, etc... America is their military might, China and other countries are their source of labor. The TPP allows corporations to sue governments who try to enforce environmental protections that interfere with the corporations profit margins. I mean, WE NEED TO BE OUTRAGED. A few hundred people are setting the boundaries of the lives of 7 billion people, all the fish in the sea, and our planet's continued existence!

We have been EMBRACING, narcissistic leaders who seek to control the narrative - our very perspectives! THESE ARE THE ALPHA MALES. I mean, as a CULTURE, we're supporting those people who are the loudest, who speak first and sound confident. We tell our children that we don't allow bullying in school, but then we swarm to Donald TRUMP!! Our schools reward bullies and sociopaths above the quiet, introverted kids. While many moral, upstanding citizens contemplate what we SHOULD do, narcissistic self-obsessed people are out there grabbing all they can get and manipulating themselves into untouchable positions of power.

When we get angry and mean to incite anger in others to effect change, this is the response we get...
Alpha males subjugate us all....this will never change.

It will never change because the empaths among us see what the sociopaths are doing and the apaths obstinately choose confusion over confrontation. The majority of people find a way to be content with the way things are, understanding that someone has to be in charge, they give that control over to the sociopaths because it's easier, not because the sociopaths are trustworthy of the responsibility for our planet and our lives. The empaths see what is happening and raise the alarm, but are met with a majority of people who just won't stand up against injustice as long as they can find a way for themselves to be content ... even if their contentedness is in having someone else to blame for what's wrong. At least they don't have to blame themselves since they didn't do anything...but I say, they are to blame because THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

But, you're right. It's always going to be this way. We could never increase funding to education and health systems worldwide. We couldn't undergo a major shift in society where we, as a population, recognize that understanding our physical world better leads us to make better decisions in life. We couldn't realize that the oligarchy already knows that to control us, they need to keep us dumb and superstitious. If we believe we have an eternal life waiting for us when we die, then we won't be OUTRAGED that they're ruining the only lives that we know for sure we have. We won't rise up and prod our fellow apaths into standing up against the domineering class, insisting on a democratic process that is supported by an educated population.

Think this has nothing to do with the OP? Who said she was a good Christian wife for a time in her life? This is all related to our culture of patriarchy. It is the patriarchy that cultivates the alpha. As human beings, we could choose to praise qualities of sharing and caring, rather than qualities of dominance and control...and we pretend to praise sharing and caring...when in fact, those who dominate and control set the boundaries of what we're allowed to share and care about! Anger may be our only savior at this point! Where do you think rebellion comes from? And, the OP is rebelling against the patriarchy! She's rejecting men and the idea that she should in many ways be subservient in our society...not only to men but to married women! Yes, the pressures to be subservient have weakened in recent decades, but the support systems for graduating from high school...getting married or going to college...getting married and getting a job or staying home with a child...raising a family and buying buying buying crap that entertains you and your children...going into debt for home, car, lifestyle...paying out the nose for college for your child...etc... the path is CLEAR. The path is SMOOTH. The path is SET. And, it isn't changed just because your husband beats you. People expect you to still seek this lifestyle...family...career...debt...keeping up with the Jones's. So, get rid of that husband if you must...but find a new one...and keep to the path.

The path isn't working because the path is wrong.

How can people see that the path is wrong if they're all indoctrinated into these Abrahamic religions? Well, some people figure it out because things go so wrong that they cannot follow that path anymore. It takes a lot to throw us off the path. Why? Because we are social people. Check out this video.
Brain games - Social conformity What we do doesn't always make sense, it's not always good for us, it's not something we need to continue doing...but if we refuse to STOP and THINK about it, if we refuse to listen to the people that it is hurting because it isn't hurting us, then we are not CIVILIZED people. Animals are social creatures too. To be civilized is to bring (a place or people) to a stage of social, cultural, and moral development considered to be more advanced.

Anger is useful when it keeps us from returning to the well-worn path that society is pressuring us to walk. Anger helps people stop what they're doing long enough to look up and around so they can answer the question "Why am I doing that?" and "Why should I do that?" and "What could I do instead?"

We DO need more angry women. We need more women who look up from the path and answer the question "What could I do instead?" because they will be our leaders. They will lead us into an era when the alpha male is quelled in childhood. When the alpha is taught to quiet that inner hunger for power because it will only lead them to despair in a world dominated by a strong democratic society that values sustainability above all. Never going to happen? Then we are headed toward extinction. Do you want to be right, or do you want to get angry and try to change our culture? I can totally get trying and failing, but never even trying? No. I'm done with that. I was beaten down, and I gave up for a long time, but I'm angry now...and I am talking to a lot of people about my anger. It's time we turned this society around and put our resources where our priorities are. CEOs should not be the highest paid people in our society when Farmers, Teachers, Medical personnel, Police and Fire officials, etc provide the services we need to sustain human life on earth until the galaxies collide.
 
Muzikluvr.. has anyone told you how beautiful your soul is lately ?, God bless. But then again anything that has anything to do with music I am a sucker for. Maybe someday will sing it loud and clear..... we need it. I do..
 
I'm all for anger if it is used to spur positive change, but I also think some of that energy should be channeled into helping other victims. If all of the anger is focused on dreaming about or plotting to take down abusers, the abusers have won. Because then they still dominate and control you, and they're still getting your attention (not you specifically, @4melissa - I'm speaking figuratively here, just "you" in general to anyone who's been through this).
 
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