Relationship The Start Of Therapy Breakup

[JM318]

I took a little road trip to Lake George and went camping and kayaking, trying to shake my anxiety, shift my focus on myself and clear my mind. I started reading a book near the camp fire and realized my head stopped spinning when I engulfed myself in the story. Baby steps, day by day. Thank you everyone for the responses, its so great that I have a place I can vent and ask for advice. I think without you guys I would be even more lost right now and I cant thank you guys enough. I know my veteran, and he does seem like he is pointing blame at me, you guys verified my gut feelings. I'll let things play out in therapy. Everything needs to be at his own pace. This week school and dance class starts so I will be EXTRA busy with 40+ hours of work on top of all that. Hope everyone has a good week, I'll keep praying for all of us <3

 

[TerriB8511]

Love you. <3 :hug:

 

[MonkeeMoo]

Sounded like you had a great weekend, JM318! ... Hope everyone had a restful one as well!
I have an update on hearing from my vet (it's been 6.5 weeks of no contact, no word from him)! ...He texted me a thoughtful greeting this morning! ...I was hoping to hear from him (as I would everyday)-- but this morning, it came as a surprise and delight. ...Can't read into it much, just that he reached out and am thankful he thought of me! The simple things... :D

 

[JM318]

Sounded like you had a great weekend, JM318! ... Hope everyone had a restful one as well!
I have an u...

@MonkeeMoo that's great to hear! :)

 

[JM318]

Help Me Understand Why I Am A Trigger

I was searching through old threads and came across this one that helped me understand a lot of whats going on with my sufferer and why he blames me for his symptoms. This is so tough. I feel like 6 months apart was hard enough, now I have to let him go again when I feel like I just got him back :/ Only this time therapy is involved, and I pray more than anything he sees progression with treatment.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

Help Me...

Well since we both are in similar situations you think I can be your support buddy/ internet boyfriend ( hahaha). The only touching involved is a keyboard and I will give you joy and extasy that you are not to blame. What makes this great is both of us will leave each other when our suffers are ready in a New York minute which means no loyalty and no one will get hurt.

Hope you n others realize this is a joke to cheer you up

 

[JM318]

W[...

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/help-me-understand-why-i-am-a-trigger.41420/#post-672881
It totally did cheer me up :) at least that link gave me some clarity and shed light on the start of therapy. I knew it was going to be hard, and a long road. It's going to be a long time before he's ready to invite me back into his life and he may even be wary of going there again. I know I'll see him around bc we share the same friends but I'm scared he'll just forget about the thought of "us" :/

 

[MonkeeMoo]

Help Me...

Before his therapy and when he recently 'isolated'-- did you see growth in your relationship (i.e. communicating better, quality time good etc. between you two as couple)? ... I ask b/c after this long space of solitude with my guy-- and we were doing good together prior to this -- I personally feel or worry ( I guess) if all of the past was erased and have to start back at the start line again. IDK... these are my insecurities

 

[MonkeeMoo]

I...

I can relate! ...oops, just wrote something similar before this recent post.

 

[JM318]

Before his therapy and when he recently 'isolated'-- did you see growth in your relationship (i.e. co...

Yes after our 6 month break we talked about everything we wanted to fix in our relationship. We focused on ourselves as individuals and as a couple and did things like hiking (which is normal for us) but we wanted to find "inner peace" and not put so much effort into our friends. So much of our time was spent at weddings, birthdays, baby showers.... Every weekend was packed with things for other people and although that's all great, we wanted to be more spontaneous and not make "plans". Take time for ourselves. Summer happened, then he started having heightened symptoms and it was downhill from there. I saw my therapist tonight and she told me I need to delete him from social media and move on with my life. That it takes 2 people to maintain a relationship and if he told me he doesn't love me, whether it's true or not it's best for me to take his word for it. I deleted him from everything about 20 minutes ago, and strangely I'm somewhat relieved. I know change isn't going to happen over night, and he needs this time for himself and if I'm still lurking in the background, it's not TRUE space. I know we have mutual friends but I will tell them I don't want to be up to date on his life and if he is around I will say hello and nothing more. I know this will be hard for me but I have to protect my heart right now and walk away........

 

[TerriB8511]

You are amazing. You are my sanity and my strength when I have none left.

 

[MonkeeMoo]

Yes after our 6 month break we talked about everything we wanted to fix in our relationship. We focused o...

JM318--

I think it's a good idea that you deleted him from your social media. It helps for you not to be distracted and that you can move forward every day! You are strong, for sure! And it's okay to have some moments-- just take it day by day...