I Can't Remember Anything Of Use

[UniqueSunflower]

I'm really struck that 2 psych majors would come out and ask you such a personal question. They must have...

Hi Orion,
A person's memories tend to surface when the brain is ready to address them. I would hope your therapist will let you pace when & if you're ready to disclose & in the mean time work with you on ways to manage symptoms and or memory processing as it does occur. I've found incorporating different healing modalities into my recovery helpful since we can't always articulate our trauma into words. Right now, my body is exhibiting more physical symptoms than it has in the past so recovery can change form over time. I hope you find the healing and support that is right for YOU.

 

[joeylittle]

My counselor and I decided I have PTSD which is inhibiting my relationships and my life now. I know my mom hit me.

I remember being terrified but I don't remember her hitting me at all. My therapist says unless I can remember more of my younger years I can't do trama therapy.

Other people have said it - but you probably (unfortunately) need to go therapist-shopping. With abuse in your background, it's very possible that you have PTSD - but your counselor might not have the qualifications to actually make that diagnosis. Given that they've said you need to remember more of your younger years before you do trauma therapy, I'm inclined to guess that they may not be qualified.

You can start to work on this by working on the ways it is affecting you, now. I would suggest you ask your therapist to refer you to someone who specializes in trauma-focused therapy; that will probably open up more of a conversation about what your options might be, which this counselor should know enough to at least discuss with you. Somatic Experiencing, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE), EMDR, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are all options for modalities; and any of those can be rooted in basic psychodynamic therapy, which you are probably getting right now.

The truth is, many therapists use a variety of tools and modalities to help their clients; but they all will have arrived at a particular area of interest and focus - something they are especially good at, something they like to be able to practice. You want someone who is especially good in trauma work.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

how did you eventually learn it was false, if you don't mind my asking?

I dont mind.

Flashbacks mainly. The act was right, the person that did it wasnt and it had made sense that this person did this act for the remainder of the memory. So it wasnt like I was making something up.

I had the memory a few years before therapy. Was in therapy a year before "outting" my past so I had been telling myself that this person did this act and the memory went this way for a few years.

After advising my therapist of my past we talked A LOT A LOT about it. Some what because of the fragmented memories, some what because I think he was trying to be sure it was true but we had spoke about it for a year. Once he had me place it all, what I had already told him, in chronigical order (i think because there was so much all over) but anyway, all of that talking had caused a good amount of flashbacks and one was rather repeating. It was enough to investigate in therapy.

I actually pretty much, at that point, knew whom really did the act but to be sure (as I felt horrible with believing it to begin with), I did a ton of family questioning and got enough information that it was no doubt this person.

Sorry, that was the long story.

 

[Seasounds]

I disagree with your therapist about trauma therapy. A person may not remember intellectually or emotionally, but their behaviors show many things about the past, if we can listen and trust our bodies. Therapy can make the space to feel, to wonder, to grieve.... Even if we don't know what our past was.

Just like a couple of people asked you if you had been sexually abused; they saw behaviors that suggested something; when your body mind is safe enough, you'll be able to know the answer. People asked me the same thing. A decade later, my past was clearer to me.

Bessel VanDerKolk's books are helpful, especially, The Body Remembers.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I started therapy. My counselor and I decided I have PTSD which is inhibiting my relationships...

I do not like the fact that that doctor straight out tells you that you can not do trauma therapy. I don't know but that sounds like kind of a behavior a parent would present when dealing with a child. You know what I mean? The poor child can not tell the parent where it hurts and the parent says: well, then I can not help you?

Sounds pretty wrong when looking at it that way, doesn't it?

A good doctor would suggest to give you options that may cause you to remember certain traumatic events, I mean when we have a disease physical or mental then it is usually the doctor's job to find out the causes.

It is always wise to study up as much as possible on this disease. There are a lot of things I learned on my own, without the aid of a doctor or therapist. I learned about treatments on my own, and performed those treatments on myself as well.

 

[Gs172003]

I dont mind.

Flashbacks mainly. The act was right, the person that did it wasnt and it had...

My understanding is memories change over time. So though the theme may be right the details may not.

 

[Angel inside me]

Thanks everyone for all the great advice. I have been in counseling before and gotten bad information. I didn't really go therapist shopping because I didn't really know what I needed.

Honestly I think my therapist is an addiction counselor. That is mostly what we have around here because the drug problem is ridiculous for the population.

 

[loui50]

I started therapy. My counselor and I decided I have PTSD which is inhibiting my relationships...

My sister remembers being sexually abused. And my neices at ages 4 and 2 accused my step father of molesting them. But i have no memory of being sexually abused. Then a few years after i was diagnised with PTSD i had a flashback to being molested. In the flashback i was 4 or 5. I could not see who was doing it though. I still have no real memory of anything abusive, just that flashback. I have no advise for you i just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. It is frustrating.