Admitting Suicidal Thoughts

[aut555]

Can you get some telephone numbers together like hotlines, friends, family? We all have shame but that's ok. I have shame from doing things in my life but then l just accept my not so perfect self. I know the great things about you are so important. Have you thought about volunteering at a animal shelter?

 

[Alibongo]

Can you get some telephone numbers together like hotlines, friends, family? We all have shame but that's...

Thank u -Yeah I could get some numbers together, will do that. I can't see any of the good things just now -I hate the person I've turned into but I'm trying to change that. Unfortunately I'm allergic to animals-sucks I know I know what u mean tho -just need to find the motivation to get off my ass. Thanks for the advice I know u all have ur own struggles. Hugs x

 

[joeylittle]

Thanks for writing back, @Alibongo. I really understand how difficult and shameful it all feels. If it helps to hear someone say it - you're doing the right thing, in talking about it.

She told me to remove the method from the house-but what if I need them?

You don't and you won't. Go ahead and get rid of them/it/whatever. Just do it, don't think on it too hard.

I've lived for a long time with strangeness like never having toxic cleaning products, only owning a pair of safety scissors and no knives, locking things in my car overnight and freezing the car key in a bucket to make it hard to get to....all sorts of crazy-sounding things. And sometimes I didn't want to give up the thing(s) that were my escape plan - just like you I thought 'but I might need them'.

All you are doing is making it more difficult on yourself. I know it doesn't feel like that, but there's a pressure that goes along with knowing that you shouldn't go and get out the (whatever it is). It takes energy to keep yourself safe, and you need all the energy you can muster. So - just get rid of it, whatever it is. If you aren't sure how, you're welcome to PM me.

And keep sharing your thoughts with us, here. That helps too.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Alibongo are you planning on doing anything to harm yourself??? If not, then I would stop worrying about this. The more you worry, the more your symptoms flare. If your just thinking about suicide it's ok. People with PTSD do this. Just take a deep breath, and try and relax. I'm not saying this isn't important, just need to figure out if you are just thinking or planning on doing?

 

[Alibongo]

Thanks for writing back, @Alibongo. I really understand how difficult and shamef...

Thank u. Ur posts really help. I'll get rid of them. Thank u for the pm offer -am doing OK today but will get in touch if im stuck. thanks x

 

[Alibongo]

@Alibongo are you planning on doing anything to harm yourself??? If not, then I wou...

Hiya yeah I get days where I've made plans and nearly gone through with them but somehow I've managed to stay safe by thinking about my family and the people who died in the attack-they never got a choice. I'm OK today though. I've never had to deal with thoughts like this before its pretty scary.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Knowing if it's a plan or just thoughts is good. As long as you are ok with things right now. Even though I'm not full PTSD shit right now, I still have days where I think about suicide and wish I would just freaking die. Sometimes I think about driving my car off a cliff, or driving into traffic. Taking pills, or hoping I just die from a massive heart attack. I know that they are just thoughts and I'm not planning anything.

I'm glad that you are ok today...

 

[Alibongo]

Knowing if it's a plan or just thoughts is good. As long as you are ok with things right now. Even thou...

Thank u and I hope u keep having good days x

 

[loui50]

I admitted to my T in my last session that i think about suicide daily. I am safe right now and gave no plan, but i think about as giving the burden of it away. Now she knows. We can talk about it and i don't have the big burden of the secret any more. Your T shouldn't tell anyone unless you are in immediate danger of actually going through with it and then she should only tell people that need to know. It will be in her notes, but those are confidential.

 

[Alibongo]

I admitted to my T in my last session that i think about suicide daily. I am safe right now and gave no...

Thank u. I'm glad ur safe just now I hope it stays that way. I'm just worried she tells my GP and it's on my medical records so their forever. I'll speak to her about it next session. Thank u x

 

[ladee]

Thinking these thoughts myself today. Forr me it is my "go to solution" when I don't see a way out. I always give myself three days to see if something changes.if I see a tiny glimmer of hope. I add three more days. Eventually I end up on even ground again. Guess we all Have to come up with something that works to stall us out until it lifts.
Very happy you shared.

 

[aut555]

Thank u. I'm glad ur safe just now I hope it stays that way. I'm just worried she tells my GP and it's...

Glad you are doing better. I am just asking that you stop playing that recording of shame and play a recording of acceptance and empowering yourself. The messages we feed ourselves do affect us. To move past all of this, you have to change the message to love yourself. But we are here and listening and hoping and supporting you. Gentle hugs if allowed, and (a giant white allergy free teddy bear) :)