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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- Post starter goingonhope
- Start date
VioletButterfly
Diamond Member
Okay, so I underlined the feelings in case you don't want to read my essay. I really need to learn how to curb the purple prose!
Feeling unsure and uncertain. This organization I'm temping for is treating me like a perm employee and (hello day 3 here!) and giving me parking passes, passwords to bank accounts, etc... very confidential stuff..... while, I'm sitting there thinking to myself: "Hmmm, this is a lot of accounting and finance (super intensive reconciliation action, reports, etc...) when I am more of an operations manager - I like to mix it up (facilities, IT, board meetings, administrative, HR, warm fuzzy corporate hugging type). So, I'm let down I guess and flustered. It's a beautiful facility in a beautiful setting with wonderfully nice, professional folks who are really committed (it's a religious org). I'm also frustrated because I don't know the perm salary or anything about benefits. Am I wasting all of our time? I just find this state of being in flux very taxing and unsettling. Hello, my friend Mr. Michelob. Ugh! Fighting that every day. Really gave it, sincerely like I've never done before, to God yesterday, then took it back. Feeling weak and ashamed in that regard, and also worried about my health. Tks. VB
Feeling unsure and uncertain. This organization I'm temping for is treating me like a perm employee and (hello day 3 here!) and giving me parking passes, passwords to bank accounts, etc... very confidential stuff..... while, I'm sitting there thinking to myself: "Hmmm, this is a lot of accounting and finance (super intensive reconciliation action, reports, etc...) when I am more of an operations manager - I like to mix it up (facilities, IT, board meetings, administrative, HR, warm fuzzy corporate hugging type). So, I'm let down I guess and flustered. It's a beautiful facility in a beautiful setting with wonderfully nice, professional folks who are really committed (it's a religious org). I'm also frustrated because I don't know the perm salary or anything about benefits. Am I wasting all of our time? I just find this state of being in flux very taxing and unsettling. Hello, my friend Mr. Michelob. Ugh! Fighting that every day. Really gave it, sincerely like I've never done before, to God yesterday, then took it back. Feeling weak and ashamed in that regard, and also worried about my health. Tks. VB
I appreciate the purple prose:) @VioletButterfly
VioletButterfly
Diamond Member
@NatBird - Thank you, you must be a fellow liberal arts major or just a curious therapist in the wings?! lol I was just going to send out a note of encouragement to you as I've seen several of your posts where you seem to be struggling. I'm also seeing the times, though, where you are strong, you succeed and are empowered, you have goodness crossing your path - despite all that you have noted otherwise. You are amazing. You keep trying and hoping. Sending a hug if that's okay..... :hug: VB
@Junebug - So very sorry you had to experience that. :hug::hug::hug::hug: VB
@Shankara - Keep hanging in there, one day at a time. You take care. VB
@Junebug - So very sorry you had to experience that. :hug::hug::hug::hug: VB
@Shankara - Keep hanging in there, one day at a time. You take care. VB
@VioletButterfly Thanks for the encouragement and kindness it feels as real as my back against my warm radiator:) I'm curious about all the feathers I keep finding, how to attach them to my scapula and become bird. I'll youtube it. Sending you affirming energy:)
Thank you @VioletButterfly & @Shankara. :hug: :hug: :hug:
I feel sick for her on her behalf. :cry: Seems if people have addictions illness etc love is conditional. Reminds me of the mental illness vs the flu/ cold video posted on here (? @Justmehere ?): the 'sick' one goes to the pharmacy, the other buys a bottle of wine. The 'sick' one cancels & the person with mental illness thinks, "Hope you feel better". The other one cancels & the person hngs up the phone & says "figures".
Is it an injury (ptsd) or an illness? Then again what does it matter if same end result?
What do I feel.. Idk. Sad, sick, hopeless, tired.
Hugs @NatBird , VB, all. :hug:
I feel sick for her on her behalf. :cry: Seems if people have addictions illness etc love is conditional. Reminds me of the mental illness vs the flu/ cold video posted on here (? @Justmehere ?): the 'sick' one goes to the pharmacy, the other buys a bottle of wine. The 'sick' one cancels & the person with mental illness thinks, "Hope you feel better". The other one cancels & the person hngs up the phone & says "figures".
Is it an injury (ptsd) or an illness? Then again what does it matter if same end result?
What do I feel.. Idk. Sad, sick, hopeless, tired.
Hugs @NatBird , VB, all. :hug:
Spiderallis
Diamond Member
I'm a bit sore, seems a friend doesn't remember what she pointed out to me. Also terrified to mention anything because I'm not sure if it's reasonable. At least I know it's okay to be furious about the invalidation that has made it more difficult to interact with other humans...
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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
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