The Silent Language Of Ptsd

[Pixielicious]

Over the past year I've heard well meaning people who don't have PTSD, say and write some awful things about PTSD.....For example, 'just snap out it' (about flashbacks) or I understand what you're going through.
Oh but you DON'T understand I would scream inside, in fact, it still makes me feel immensely angry when they claim to 'understand'.
I know some people have genuine compassion and are trying to help, but often their 'compassion' does more harm than good imo.
I have often thought, before I found this site, that only another person who has PTSD could ever understand what it feels like to be trapped inside a flashback and just how exhausting PTSD is.
It's kind of like we have a silent language between us, even though all our experiences are unique and different.
I love it. I love the genuine compassion most of us have for each other.
It's unique and valuable imo.
To be understood without having to explain too much, or when we can't explain in words, or argue, is sooooooo very precious imo.
And I'm very grateful to have met you all.
You Rock!!! ❤

 

[Tinyflame]

Could it be they say they understand it because they have it but don't want to say? (Just a thought.)

 

[Pixielicious]

Could it be they say they understand it because they have it but don't want to say? (Just a thought.)[/Q...

I never thought of that....but If they did, they wouldn't be saying careless things like 'snap out of it'....It's kind of like saying, stop having cancer, to a cancer patient...

 

[Deleted member 541]

I understand that many of us here feel insulted, hurt, angry at those that say things like "just snap out of it". Yes, those words can hurt. With the example of the person with cancer, others can see the effects of cancer, and cancer is something we all know about and understand the long term outcome of. There are even physically signs with some cancers, which when we have visual cues it helps to "see" the whole picture. With PTSD and mental health issues, many times there are no visual cues for others to see.

Mental health, even though it's been around since the beginning of time, people that don't suffer from it, still don't understand or get it. Shit, those of us with PTSD have a hard time wrapping our brains around some of the shit that we go through.

I'm not trying to downplay the fact that words can and do hurt, I just think that unless someone has firsthand knowledge, it's hard to fully understand the depth of what we go through. Some people also don't know how to help, and they feel helpless, so they offer up stupid statements. I know when someone dies, I never know what to spray to the family, I feel so stupid saying, "I'm sorry"

 

[Gs172003]

Over the past year I've heard well meaning people who don't have PTSD, say and write some awful th...

Oh Lord. One person I know tried to compare it to depression. Said person was a psychiatric nurse at one point in her career. I will never go to a state run psychiatric hospital. Ever.

Same person thinks she is smarter than my trauma therapist. Oh well.

 

[Pixielicious]

I understand that many of us here feel insulted, hurt, angry at those that say things like "just snap out...

True......There are some very compassionate non PTSD peeps, who are indeed trying their best to be understanding, but I'm referring to the peeps who have no clue what PTSD is. And by peeps, I mean someone you personally know.
I have a very low tolerance for stupidity and even less tolerance for ignorance. It doesn't take more than 10 minutes to research it on the Internet, or ask me personally what exactly is PTSD.... but once you mention that PTSD is a 'mental disorder' many begin to stigmatise you....Or They compare it to something like schizophrenia for example.
Yeah I have PTSD, but no I am not mentally retarded and yes I have some sanity left too.... Somewhere :D

 

[Pixielicious]

Oh Lord. One person I know tried to compare it to depression. Said person was a psychiatric nurse a...

You hit the nail on the spot (you're dead on)
This is exactly what I'm talking about....

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Pixielicious I'm not defending non PTSD people and the things they say that we feel are hurtful. Words hurt, no doubt about it.

What I'm trying to convey is this.... Yes, anyone can go read up on PTSD or any other mental illness, but what they can't do is fully understand what that condition/disease entails. So they read the words "Flashback or Body Memory ". Do they understand that with those terms that we actually FEEL things along with BEING right back into that abuse?

I have PTSD. But, to this day I can not wrap my brain around self harm. I never have been able to. I KNOW it's a coping skill, but I can not understand it, and don't know how someone inflicts more pain onto them when they have suffered so much already.

Body memories.... I've never had one, I can not comprehend what they are.

This is what I'm talking about when I say that non PTSD people don't understand, because they have never experienced what we go through, feel, see, hear, taste and smell. So, yes, they sometimes say stupid things that we feel are hurtful. I just think that unless they say it with intended malice, they don't mean it as hurtful. If malice is intended, then they can go f*ck themselves.

For me, I guess it's all about interpretation and how we respond to the comment.

 

[Silver.]

Kind of related but I saw this and it made me think of this post
If Physical Ailments Were Treated as Mental Ones:
(artist Robot Hugs)

Moderator edit to remove image. You can read more about this, here: Administrative - Posting Images: When Its Ok, And When It's Not. Feel free to post a link to the image, instead.

 

[Pixielicious]

Kind of related but I saw this and it made me think of this post
If Physical Ailments Were Treated as M...

Hahahaha your post is the best post here and is exactly what I'm trying to describe :D
I'm laughing sarcastically because it's so, so real and true, thank you for posting it. :hilarious:

 

[Pixielicious]

@Pixielicious I'm not defending non PTSD people and the things they say that we fee...

I admit I probably get overly self defensive when I try to explain what PTSD is, nevertheless, it's not my problem when some people are dumb.
I can liken it to when I 'gave birth' to my children many moons ago. I'm a c-sect mommy so I've never actually given birth, but yet, back then, because of stupidity and ignorance, I was expected to move around and do all the normal things that most normal moms can do after giving birth.
This is going back 27+ yrs ago when we were still living in the ice age lol
Nowadays, thankfully, a cesarean is considered a major operation and most people have evolved since then :playful:

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Pixielicious Well, girl, if you had your kids in the ice age, then I had mine before the Dinasaurs! Carried her for over 10 months. Finally took Castor oil to induce labor. After 16 hours of being given what was called buckles to bring on hard labor(cause I wasn't dialating) they decided to do an X-ray.

Emergency C-Section. She was 20 inches long and weighed 9lbs 7oz. That was in 1972, and back then she was considered HUGE!!!!! They called her fatso in the hospital. I was kicked out in less than 3 days due to no insurance, and my mother wouldn't help out, so I had to do it all.

So, yes, I get it!!!!