Why Did The Abusive Ex...

[ahershey]

He is trying to screw with your head. There is also the above mentioned new way to make a prisoner.
I often become upset at my ex because I feel like he broke my heart, mind, soul, and my dreams. I remind myself that I can heal this with time, now that he is not in my life. I then do something to improve my life. Clean something, walk in nature, make an important call.
This man broke your trust, and your heart in a few different ways. It is ok to grieve over the broken relationship, heart, trust, and self. It is ok to be hurt, to be angry. Feel these things, but don't give him more power over you by displaying your negative emotions where he and his friends can see it. It will take a few months for you to accept the whole episode, and to feel OK, or better. Practice focusing on the positives in your life when negatives come up.
I am sorry this happened to you. Know that you are strong because you left a situation that would have worsened.

 

[Pixielicious]

..introduced his new gf to everyone and all this friends but always kept me as a secret? He showed a...

Because he used you. Because you was a temporary 'fill in' until he found someone he could 'show off'. Because he never loved you.
What he did to you, he will, in the future, also do to his new gf, even if he is 'flaunting' her and 'showing her off' to his family and friends.

 

[J_trustno1]

I have been in counseling ever since this incident. It just upsets me whenever I get people telling me about how happy he is with this new girl and taking photos with her and showing her off. He was all there to take advantage of my intellect. He manipulated and begged me to do his assignments, CV etc. On top of it, he verbally, emotionally and sexually assaulted me.

I didn't do anything wrong to him, instead he used me. Every time I broke up with this asshole, he would come back crying after couple of weeks and saying he'd change for better but he became worse each time. He broke my trust not once but several times. Why the f*ck was I supposed to be used by him?? His new gf is 7 yrs younger than him, she's 21 and everyone is saying that she's pretty, stylish and hot. does this mean I was ugly to begin with and wasn't supposed to be treated right?

 

[Friday]

It has nothing to do with you, J.

Even if he were a completely normal guy, whomever an ex dates after you? Isn't anything to do wih you.

 

[scout86]

Why the f*ck was I supposed to be used by him??

You weren't. But it happened. You found out pretty quick what he was like. Some people MARRY guys like that and it takes them YEARS to figure out something's wrong. Check around, there are quit a few threads here like that.

Make good use of the counseling. Learn from this experience. Relationships with other people are like everything else, it takes practice and you learn and get better at it with practice. You haven't really had much of a chance to be in, or even observe any really good relationships based on what you've said here. How do you think you're supposed to figure all this out?

 

[aut555]

Yes; l married a guy like this, listen to these posts, you could have gotten married to this jerk and been really abused and in a really bad place. He is just going to abuse her soon if not already. So really, l would feel sorry for the new girlfriend, not jealous. She saved you from his horrible abuse.

 

[EveHarrington]

He may already be abusing her but it's all kept behind closed doors.

Abusers are abusers. He hasn't changed.

:hug:

 

[Gs172003]

I have been in counseling ever since this incident. It just upsets me whenever I get people telling...

Uh. No.
It had not a thing to do with you.

He was a manipulating jackass. He wanted you when he had something he NEEDED from you. HE DID NOT LOVE YOU.

The man was a sick jerk. He will do the same to the new one. It may take her longer to figure it out cause she's so young.

 

[aut555]

@J_trustno1
It sounds like he was grooming you, because you noted the abuse was worse every time he came back once you let him in. He pathologically treated you worse. Sounds like this definitely was heading to horrible physical abuse, he definitely hates woman and this is maybe something he saw patterned by his father.

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks everyone for answering my thread.
When his friends saw me speaking to a guy friend, he ended up blocking me on facebook a month ago.
After I spoke to that girl this Monday and told her about what he had done to me, he ended up blocking me on everything (i.e. whatsapp etc).
I always see his friends keeping an eye on me and stalking me.

I mean if he's moved on then why would he block me and why would other girls would exchange information from my end to his end. If he has a gf, then why would his friends keep any eye on me and report about me to him?

This is just ridiculous and twisted according to me.

 

[EveHarrington]

Have any of these people been out in the real world or have they all just been in school the whole time? I've found that students who have real world experience don't engage with so much drama because real life is much more important.

 

[J_trustno1]

Nope! they haven't. They have been in school all life and are international students where their fee is paid by their parents. They work part-time for their essential needs but apart from that no.

I just want to know why he is reacting in such a way after 3 months of the breakup and what's the whole point of passing information to me about his success in finding a new gf? and his friends stalking me?