MichelleMillen
Bronze Member
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. I am on disability and my days, for the last thirty years, have been spent dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath of trauma. For years I was isolated and untreated for any of my conditions. In recent months I moved to London, Ontario where I began receiving help.
My older brother and I were estranged for many years due to the rumor that I might have a mental illness. Since I moved to London in February we have resumed and healed our relationship. One obstacle remains: he is extremely religious and I am not at all. He has constantly hinted his desire for me to embrace his religious beliefs with Bible quote texts and links to religious songs.
Then one day we had a talk on the phone that lasted for hours. I finally broke my 20 year silence and confided in him about my pain, my abusive past with my ex-husband, and even the sexually inappropriate behavior our father had done to me throughout my adult life. I told him I was seeking counseling to find out if I had been molested as a very young child. He was shocked at most of what I told him, and afterwards I did feel some anxiety that I had told him so much, but he was the only friend or family member who had reached out to me in many many years.
After months of talking and bonding again, he asked if he could come over and "pray over me". I said yes. I had been kind of brushing off or not responding to his religious references but I felt it couldn't hurt.
He brought supper and his new wife, who shares his beliefs. After we ate, he asked me to lay down on the sofa on my back. He leaned over me and began to talk, not to me, but to the demons he believed were inside of me. He looked right in my eyes and told them to reveal their names and come out.
I lay there, stunned, looking back at him. He tried for several minutes to get a response from the demons, telling me that he had seen something "coming out of my face" and then going back in again. His wife confirmed that she had seen this as well.
I had confided in him earlier that I had heard voices since about 2004 and he addressed them, telling them they had no legal right to be there and to leave me. They did not.
He then asked me if he could pray over my apartment. I said yes, and he went into the kitchen. During this time his wife began to tell me about her "deliverance" from demons. Her story was straight out of "The Exorcist". She said a friend of theirs, Sharon, had worked over her on several occasions and that during the procedure she had spoke fluently in Latin, thrown up some kind of black liquid, and cursed her husband. She spoke in a low, male, demonic voice and said "She is mine" and "This is my home."
At this point I got up to get some more ice for my Pepsi, and went into the kitchen. This time it was a flashback to "The Sixth Sense". Every single cupboard door was open, every drawer, and my oven was open.
I returned to the living room. What I had just experienced had not affected me much, as though it was happening to someone else. I felt I had just been "playing along". My brother asked me if he could take me to Sharon's house, as she was more qualified to deal with this.
I said I would, feeling totally disassociated from my own feelings. Obvious red flags that countered my own belief systems simply didn't register. All I remember thinking is since both my brother and his wife had been "delivered", something good might happen to me.
Jump to Sharon's house. She welcomed me with a friendly hug and wasted no time in taking me to a room in the very back of the house, which was mostly empty except for a massage table in the middle of the room. She instructed me to lay down on it, which I did, painfully and slowly. (I also have RA and fibro). I lay flat on my back, surrounded by Sharon, her husband, my brother, his wife, and a young couple I had never met.
She proceeded to do what my brother had done, only much more aggressively and shouting into my face. Emotions finally surfaced and I began to cry. After several minutes of trying to identify demons I wept that I didn't understand.
She reassured me that she was helping me, and pressed both her thumbs hard on my upper chest on either side. With Fibromyalgia, it hurt like he'll and I asked her to stop. She said again that she was helping me, and then suddenly told the "spirit of incest" to come out. She claimed that my father had molested me as a child and that this Don was still inside of me. Sharon knew absolutely nothing about my past, my father's inappropriate sexual behaviour, or that I was seeking counseling for possible blocked memories of molestation.
She then told me to cough as deeply and as hard as I could. I complied, and to my left I saw my brother's wife's head fling back violently. Sharon told me to cough again and again, and each time her head flung back. She later told me that "something like black mist" had come out of me when I coughed, and that the mist had risen and been "whisked away", she believed by angels. The young husband I didn't know confirmed he had seen the same thing. I was becoming frightened and overwhelmed, so I asked Sharon if we could take a break. She helped me to sit up on the massage table and I just sat there and listened to Sharon agreeing with my brother that they had both seen something coming out of my forehead and going back in again. Sharon's husband, who had been reciting scripting and praying the entire time, continued to do so.
At this point the entire procedure seemed to be over. My brother told me I was now free, that I would now experience deliverance from pain, my smoking habit, and that I would be financially well off for the rest of my life.
He took me home. He was very happy for me, and I was back in a state of complete emotional numbness. I thanked him for trying to help me, and went to bed. The next day I had a PTSD meltdown that I had not experienced since being hospitalized for PTSD this past March for a month. The anxiety was through the roof, accompanied by a thick cloud of depression. I was completely overwhelmed. Thankfully I had an appointment with my psychiatrist the next day. I told him most of what happened. He advised me to distance myself from my brother and that I had been physically assaulted.
It helped to tell him about it and within a couple of weeks I felt functional again. I started answering my brother's texts again, and he did not bring up what happened, but just continued to send me Bible verses and religious songs from YouTube.
There was no healing, no freedom, and I will never subject myself to anything like that again.
My brother will not give up trying to bring me into his religion, but I starting to think about boundaries, just a little. I am extremely vulnerable right now and have always been a vulnerable target for many kinds of abuse.
I have an excellent GP, a very understanding psychiatrist, and am waiting to see a rheumatologist for my arthritis.
I think I'll stick to more conventional methods of treatment from now on.
My older brother and I were estranged for many years due to the rumor that I might have a mental illness. Since I moved to London in February we have resumed and healed our relationship. One obstacle remains: he is extremely religious and I am not at all. He has constantly hinted his desire for me to embrace his religious beliefs with Bible quote texts and links to religious songs.
Then one day we had a talk on the phone that lasted for hours. I finally broke my 20 year silence and confided in him about my pain, my abusive past with my ex-husband, and even the sexually inappropriate behavior our father had done to me throughout my adult life. I told him I was seeking counseling to find out if I had been molested as a very young child. He was shocked at most of what I told him, and afterwards I did feel some anxiety that I had told him so much, but he was the only friend or family member who had reached out to me in many many years.
After months of talking and bonding again, he asked if he could come over and "pray over me". I said yes. I had been kind of brushing off or not responding to his religious references but I felt it couldn't hurt.
He brought supper and his new wife, who shares his beliefs. After we ate, he asked me to lay down on the sofa on my back. He leaned over me and began to talk, not to me, but to the demons he believed were inside of me. He looked right in my eyes and told them to reveal their names and come out.
I lay there, stunned, looking back at him. He tried for several minutes to get a response from the demons, telling me that he had seen something "coming out of my face" and then going back in again. His wife confirmed that she had seen this as well.
I had confided in him earlier that I had heard voices since about 2004 and he addressed them, telling them they had no legal right to be there and to leave me. They did not.
He then asked me if he could pray over my apartment. I said yes, and he went into the kitchen. During this time his wife began to tell me about her "deliverance" from demons. Her story was straight out of "The Exorcist". She said a friend of theirs, Sharon, had worked over her on several occasions and that during the procedure she had spoke fluently in Latin, thrown up some kind of black liquid, and cursed her husband. She spoke in a low, male, demonic voice and said "She is mine" and "This is my home."
At this point I got up to get some more ice for my Pepsi, and went into the kitchen. This time it was a flashback to "The Sixth Sense". Every single cupboard door was open, every drawer, and my oven was open.
I returned to the living room. What I had just experienced had not affected me much, as though it was happening to someone else. I felt I had just been "playing along". My brother asked me if he could take me to Sharon's house, as she was more qualified to deal with this.
I said I would, feeling totally disassociated from my own feelings. Obvious red flags that countered my own belief systems simply didn't register. All I remember thinking is since both my brother and his wife had been "delivered", something good might happen to me.
Jump to Sharon's house. She welcomed me with a friendly hug and wasted no time in taking me to a room in the very back of the house, which was mostly empty except for a massage table in the middle of the room. She instructed me to lay down on it, which I did, painfully and slowly. (I also have RA and fibro). I lay flat on my back, surrounded by Sharon, her husband, my brother, his wife, and a young couple I had never met.
She proceeded to do what my brother had done, only much more aggressively and shouting into my face. Emotions finally surfaced and I began to cry. After several minutes of trying to identify demons I wept that I didn't understand.
She reassured me that she was helping me, and pressed both her thumbs hard on my upper chest on either side. With Fibromyalgia, it hurt like he'll and I asked her to stop. She said again that she was helping me, and then suddenly told the "spirit of incest" to come out. She claimed that my father had molested me as a child and that this Don was still inside of me. Sharon knew absolutely nothing about my past, my father's inappropriate sexual behaviour, or that I was seeking counseling for possible blocked memories of molestation.
She then told me to cough as deeply and as hard as I could. I complied, and to my left I saw my brother's wife's head fling back violently. Sharon told me to cough again and again, and each time her head flung back. She later told me that "something like black mist" had come out of me when I coughed, and that the mist had risen and been "whisked away", she believed by angels. The young husband I didn't know confirmed he had seen the same thing. I was becoming frightened and overwhelmed, so I asked Sharon if we could take a break. She helped me to sit up on the massage table and I just sat there and listened to Sharon agreeing with my brother that they had both seen something coming out of my forehead and going back in again. Sharon's husband, who had been reciting scripting and praying the entire time, continued to do so.
At this point the entire procedure seemed to be over. My brother told me I was now free, that I would now experience deliverance from pain, my smoking habit, and that I would be financially well off for the rest of my life.
He took me home. He was very happy for me, and I was back in a state of complete emotional numbness. I thanked him for trying to help me, and went to bed. The next day I had a PTSD meltdown that I had not experienced since being hospitalized for PTSD this past March for a month. The anxiety was through the roof, accompanied by a thick cloud of depression. I was completely overwhelmed. Thankfully I had an appointment with my psychiatrist the next day. I told him most of what happened. He advised me to distance myself from my brother and that I had been physically assaulted.
It helped to tell him about it and within a couple of weeks I felt functional again. I started answering my brother's texts again, and he did not bring up what happened, but just continued to send me Bible verses and religious songs from YouTube.
There was no healing, no freedom, and I will never subject myself to anything like that again.
My brother will not give up trying to bring me into his religion, but I starting to think about boundaries, just a little. I am extremely vulnerable right now and have always been a vulnerable target for many kinds of abuse.
I have an excellent GP, a very understanding psychiatrist, and am waiting to see a rheumatologist for my arthritis.
I think I'll stick to more conventional methods of treatment from now on.
