Indecision Indecision Indecision

[IamFree]

Any Wise counsel ? I am trying to make a decision on whether to and how to give up on a dysfunctional friendship. Its someone I have know for a while. We met on drugs which I have realised is never a great foundation for any relationship. I have been clean now for a while and been working on the co-dependency issues. The question I am asking myself is can you keep a relationship going when you are changing but someone else is staying the same. and then how would I move on from it don't want to hurt anyone.

 

[Kay-Os]

Strength. It's honestly only a question you can answer

 

[IamFree]

Strength. It's honestly only a question you can answer

your absolutely right I am just hoping other peoples experience can contribute to what I decide.

 

[Gs172003]

Will you be able to stay clean if they are still using? Will you have anything else to be friends for other than the drugs?

 

[IamFree]

well this is what I wonder ..many times when I relapsed she was present..now I must stress I am not blaming her it was my choice..but I consider if I called and asked to go and get drugs would she try and support my recovery or would she let me relapse.

 

[EveHarrington]

Nobody "lets" you relapse.

That's a decision you make on your own, even if supplied with drugs.

 

[IamFree]

I think that has come across the wrong way.. of course we are responsible for are own choices. what I mean is that someone who loves you would have no part in you relapsing..well that's what I believe.

 

[EveHarrington]

Is she still using?

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Terry W My take on it is this.... if the other person is still using. If this was my life at the moment I would have to evaluate if this person would tempt and tease me to use again. If they used in front of me. If they triggered me to the point that I would be on edge to use again. These would all be deal breakers for me. Many times when we make changes in our lives, and others don't, they can't handle us changing and many times they try to push our buttons. They don't like us changing, they're not comfortable with us anymore, and they don't know what to expect. They try to upset the apple cart, so to speak...

Yes, we all make choices, and we all live with the consequences of those choices. You really need to put yourself first when making this decision. Either way you choose, I think it will be a difficult decision for you. Good luck.

 

[IamFree]

Is she still using?

yes

 

[IamFree]

@Terry W My take on it is this.... if the other person is still using. If this...

what I feel sure about is if I called and said lets go and get loaded I don't think that would be a problem.

 

[Gs172003]

what I feel sure about is if I called and said lets go and get loaded I don't think that would be a pro...

Honestly I think you know the answer to all this. You know what you need to do. You just need support in doing it.