So Sick Of Repetitive Anxiety Attacks...groundhog Day

[cupfish]

I can't decide if addressing my PTSD is a question of living with the repetitive anxiety loops and trying to shrink them, or trying to eliminate them altogether. I'm increasingly resigned to coping not conquering. This is a chronic condition, you manage it only, with varying successes. That's so sad and tragic to me. My body is fine, my brain fails me daily. I struggle over and over with panic/anxiety about communications, things like voicemail. The same stupid carnival ride in my head fires up, here we go around again. I feel stuck, like a skipping record. I try to use my head and heart and intuition and resources to make good decisions but the record keeps skipping. I feel like a total failure because every day is just like the last, and I don't want that. Self-determination is of course my right, but I have so much trouble consistently moving in any kind of useful direction. What am I doing wrong?? I see what I want. I know I have the resources to get there. I can't and I don't see the solution anywhere and all I do is look for it, all day and all night...how to get over this...how? I'm bottoming out again on the same stupid reef. Does this resonate with anyone else?

 

[Friday]

I hate my patterns. They drive me insane.

Yes, that they're patterns means that I can plan for them, and around them, and start effecting change with them.... But? :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

They also just piss me off and drive me crazy. Especially when I can see it, but I'm not having much luck changing it, or the change is happening sooooo gawd dayum slooooooooooowly. Argh. Work already, dammit! :wtf: Patience? Not my strong suit.

 

[cupfish]

I hate my patterns. They drive me insane.

Yes, that they're patterns means that I can plan for them,...

THANK YOU. It is so boring. Soooo borrrrrring. over and over and over

 

[Mim28]

Yes, I fight it every day. I want to stop living in my head. I have been successful in the past and hope to be in the future. I just feel like I keep making wrong decisions right now. I know it will get better. it has to.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I can't decide if addressing my PTSD is a question of living with the repetitive anxiety loops and tryi...

Hell yeah, Iam sure that resonates with most of us. These patterns suck, and no Iam not able to conqer them.