The Last 24 Hours Have Been H...

[recoveringfromptsd]

I am certainly glad SP was able to teach me some skills to cope, last night before bed I was having repeat flashbacks that I could not make go away, the only way I was able to fall asleep was to use my safe place imagery and stay there, then I woke up during the night, I think I had another one of those violent dreams, I woke up disassociated, and did not know it (I think I was in an emotional flashback), and found myself trying to self harm, once I realized and stopped it, I went back to sleep, but the same stuff was on my mind when I awoke, and this is not the first time I have woken with flashback imagery and thoughts recently. It did not help that someone triggered me by mentioning a name associated with one of my abusers.

 

[Sideways]

Having shared a hospital ward with other trauma patients before was a great experience for me with dealing with nightmares and even realising that it's possible to wake up switched (DID). Different patients had found all sorts of different things helped them get calm and grounded when they woke up.

Some people had the white noise playing on repeat or little waterfalls going, others left softly coloured lights on, some used scents in the room (esp lavender), others used weighted blankets, some people had all pastel colours while others had the whole rainbow thing going on; some used teddies, some used photos by the bed.

Knowing we're going to wake up and be safe is part of having a goor night sleep. Getting good sleep is essential (like, it'll send me over the edge within days) to stable mental health.

Try anything and everything (with good communication with SP!!). What keeps you asleep feeling safe? And what helps you be back in your bedroom, grounded and calm when you wake up? Trial and error, but really worthwhile.

Sorry you had a crappy sleep. It can ruin the whole day. Here's hoping tonight you sleep like the Care Bears do:)

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Ragdoll Circus That's very helpful, I am going to have to think hard on what will work for me, I need to be able to manage this like I do other FB, I am not sure what will work for me. I also need to get something for my room to use as visual anchors to ground to when I am in the room and the lights are on. I have them in the living room above the TV in case I get triggered so I can use them until I get my frozen orange from the freezer. But I don't have anything in my room and its a matter of time when I will need them.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I just saw my P doc this morning, he said he could give me something (some kind of BP med) that will shut down the nightmares. I told him let's hold that in reserve as it has not reach a point where it demands such a fix. The last thing I want to do is shut down a process in my brain that is part of healing and integrating. I did tell him about some of the suggestions here, and that my room is the one place I had yet to address having grounding anchors in place.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Good for you @recoveringfromptsd your name suits you well. Recognizing the need for extra help ie grounding tool in the bedroom is a huge step forward.

It helps me. I actually carry something in my pocket, have a postcard next to my bed and something in my purse that I carry with me all the time. I'm triggered pretty badly right now, so these things are VERY important. I can't encourage you enough to do or get whatever will most help you. Maybe for the sake of physical rest, can you sleep in the livingroom or another room temporarily?

Have you ever journalled? I find it helpful sometimes to write (type) out exactly what I'm feeling in the moment and what's happening in my head. Sort of validates what I'm feeling as well an outlet.

I really hope you find something to help you with this. Calling it hard or even discouraging doesn't come close.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Good for you @recoveringfromptsd your name suits you well. Recognizing the need fo...

Yes, I do level 2 journaling every day, as well as set 3 goals for the day just like I had to in the SP hospital, I also acknowledge how safe I feel starting the day, even told the P Doc about this today.

As for sleeping in the living room, I have not considered that, but we do have a convertible couch that is actually quite comfortable.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Maybe sleeping elsewhere will be helpful. I know for me, my mind or body for that matter really don't function very well on serious lack of sleep. I also have 3 kids who need me to be functional.

Good for you on the journalling and setting goals for the day. Do you write down your goals? Keep them visible? Sounds like you're on the right track.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Maybe sleeping elsewhere will be helpful. I know for me, my mind or body for that matter really don't...

Each day I write the date in my journal, and then my goals for the day. and then how safe I am that day (the idea that if I start to not feel safe I can acknowledge it early so I can communicate it to others). I suspect that part may become part of my wellness plan. Then the rest is level 2 journaling.

The facilitator of the trauma group I am in is introducing WRAP into the group, so I will have that on top of DBT.

I am going to see if being able to ground when needed in my room is going to work, I was able to find a night light that projects a planetary image on the ceiling, if I can get that to project directly above my head then it may be enough to visually ground on long enough to stay in the moment. I also found some pastel foam squares that I can cut and put on the walls so I have something specific and obvious to ground to during the day in my room, I have something similar in our living room above the TV that I use for that purpose.

While I told my P Doc today about the dreams and there nature, I did not tell him I woke up with my arms being scratched by my hands (that happened in the hospital when I had an emotional flashback that lasted days). I hope that these measures will help to ground in my room.

 

[joeylittle]

...he said he could give me something (some kind of BP med) that will shut down the nightmares. I told him let's hold that in reserve as it has not reach a point where it demands such a fix. The last thing I want to do is shut down a process in my brain that is part of healing and integrating.

The most likely med he's referring to is Prazosin. It could also be Clonadine.

It's not accurate to say that these drugs 'shut down' nightmares. Whatever dreams/nightmares you are having would still be happening. Any medication that is taken to manage nightmares is really just getting you deeper into the sleep cycle, which inhibits how much of your dreams you remember.

That's a very simple way of explaining it, but it's the idea.

Why BP meds? They lower your blood pressure, which both makes it easier to fall asleep and easier to sleep deeper, on a more consistent sleep cycle. You are less likely to wake up suddenly from a sleep disturbance.

So, if you decide to give meds a try, just know that it's likely your dreams (nightmares) are still happening...they just remain in your subconscious awareness and don't stay with you when you wake.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Prazosin

I checked it out, and this was the med he was referring to, I would venture to guess if I took it I might have low blood pressure problems as my blood pressure is normally textbook (I am one of those lucky ones to have the genetics that give me clean arteries and normal BP despite high cholesterol).

It does not happen every night, and just some nights, and since I have prepared my room with grounding aids, so that I have something to ground too when I wake up both in the dark and in the light. (in the dark I was able to find a night light that projects onto the ceiling a planetary scene).

 

[joeylittle]

I would venture to guess if I took it I might have low blood pressure problems as my blood pressure is normally textbook (I am one of those lucky ones to have the genetics that give me clean arteries and normal BP despite high cholesterol).

You'd be surprised. When not taking it on a 24 hour cycle, all it does is lower your BP for a period of time. You have to be careful when getting up in the middle of the night, because dizziness is common. But otherwise, when it works, it works well. But it's good that you know it's there, in case you find that the nightmares are getting unmanageable.