OP you mention difficulty connecting to common concepts & auditory issues quite a bit -
Is there anything that helps you...
I am not sure if you are familiar with APD (Auditory Processing Disorder) so I'll give a brief explanation of how I personally experience it.
Subtle noises such as sniffing, clocks ticking, breathing, scratching, etc., are noises that sound "loud" in that although they may be quiet, I can still hear them clear as day. As the ambience noise increases, especially when combined with a few or handful of loud noises, it really feels like I cannot process anything I'm hearing or reading. It sounds like someone is speaking in a foreign gibberish. Sometimes I can understand that they're saying, "Look at the red car over there by the woman." but I can't truly understand. An example could be you know japanese words. If someone were to tell you a word in japanese, based off your knowledge, you can confirm and/or agree that it is a real japanese word, but you have no idea what it means. It is sort of like that. You know it's a word, but you have no idea and sometimes it sounds like they're all.. jumbled together.
When it's even worse, i can't read. It's the same concept. I will be reading the same lines over and over, word by word, but it will not process. So I'm stuck listening to loud nonsense and people shuffling around. It's annoying and I can't do anything. Attempting to focus just makes it worse, and so I usually don't bother and listen to music. I've stopped making attempts unless I absolutely had to or wanted to. (such as trying to understand a friend or interesting material) yet it usually does not help or improve the situation other than making me even more frustrated because it feels like I'm missing out on something more.
On top of that, I also have a speech impediment. I learned the english language later in life because I was adopted and did not speak my first english words until around age 3 or so. Not only that, but I was neglected and learned most of my words from documentaries and whatever I picked up on. When I am nervous enough, I don't talk at all. I've gotten better at that, but when I was younger, people used to think I was a mute. I stutter and slur. My stuttering is more like "phrase stuttering" meaning I'll say, "What- what about- what about wee.. tr-try walking, umm, this way......or.... wherever you want t-to go, I guess.." I also tend to have inappropriate pauses and pace in my speech.
Another thing that's really annoying is that I have a hard time articulating what I want to say. I can text all of this, but I can't verbally speak the way I think or write. I don't know what it is. If given a phone or piece of paper and pen, I can write what's on my mind down on the paper, but once I have to verbally say it.. it get's excessively simplified sometimes. So much so, that even though I type and write like this all the time, if I read aloud what I just wrote, it doesn't sound like me because I'm not used to talking like that.
One more thing that is part of my speech. My friend calls them "verbal tics" but they're not really verbal tics. Basically, as I'm talking, I'll sometimes try to force a word out when my brain is still lagging behind, so it comes out as some.. noise.. and not even an identifiable word. Or sometimes when I can't think of a word, but I'm in that moment, I'll just sputter out a random expressive noise. these noises sound like gibberish, not actual... imitation noise. If that makes sense.. So I make these words "sounds" = "eff..nyeh.." I don't do these imitation sounds = "ca, ca (as if trying to say cat)" or animal/machine sounds.
