Compulsive Lying

[Oro]

I think there is also a fundamental difference in the reason why one is lying. Lying to make people like you or avoid confrontation may match one personality tendency. Lying to appear more accomplished or impressive would be another. Lying to mess with people would match another. Lying for personal gain another etc.

I don't think saying lying is related to PTSD is helpful as I don't think its true and says very little about what is really going on, Its the context of the lying that is most important. In my opinion anyway. I have no doubt that some people can react to trauma by increased lying but that's a bit different from relating it directly to PTSD.

 

[Cizumu]

So when do these thoughts roll in, is there a particular time, a trigger, something you do daily that triggers these thoug...

No. I am thinking practically 24/7. My psychiatrist says it's part of my O.C.D. I'm constantly thinking so I don't know of any triggers that cause that.

 

[Cizumu]

And have the thoughts ever scared you that you may act out if all the parameters are correct? Do you have to isolate yo...

Yes I've done some avoidance, but other times I know I can't because of what others will see. I get worried I'll lose control. When it's not too bad, I don't feel much emotion. It's like a screen or film playing short millisecond scenes or an ongoing video of morbid scenery. Some times if I get angry, I'll see an image of me beating someone up, but if I'm angry enough I'll get scared of my own anger and that quickly turns to fear of what I could do to someone else.

 

[Cizumu]

Maybe your friend is aware of the lies and just accepts you anyways. Maybe they have selective hearing. It's a habit, y...

If she knows I'm lying then she's very good at acting as if it's the truth and treating/reacting to me like it is truth.

 

[Cizumu]

I'm actually in a very similar situation as you. I'm in DBT which is supposedly going to help, it may be beneficial to y...

It's okay. Their reactions are normal and was expected :) (Also why I made sure to put this on an anonymous post...)

 

[Cizumu]

Personally I can't see any possibility of borderline personality fitting. What you describe is a lack of emotion in relat...

I cannot say for sure. I don't know how I'll react when she dies or we cease our friendship. I'm not sure what would happen or how I'd feel if I went a whole day without lying.. I feel like it would be a bit hard, but I'm up for trying it. I sort of do that already with my friend, if I'm with her for nearly the whole day and then not speaking(or very little) to anyone else.

 

[Osa]

So you are making progress by pulling this out. But is this anger directed always out or inwardly or combo of both? Let's delve back to the empathy or lack thereof. This is a general lack of empathy for the human race? Have you been professionally diagnosed? There is one diagnosis that falls completely in the no empathy area. And this can be ok unless there was serious abuse in childhood. You also gave no clues to your thought process during the morbid film playing out mentally. This tells me you are somewhat drawn into this which would push you right into the sadistic side. Do you care to divulge your thoughts on this? You lie because of no empathy, could there be no reason to tell the truth to you? Is it true that anger is a active 24/7 underlying theme in your day to day with this morbid film running?

 

[Jetaluc]

Finally your friend may have no reason to let on that she knows this side of you for her personal reasons but it may have crossed her mind by your past comments. Just because someone is nurturing in personality doesn't mean they are blind to vibrations of something else. And being super polite may raise her suspicious radar. Why not tell her the truth so that it helps her? Because that is truly the only way to protect her if you value her friendship. We are not talk empathy, this is a hard cold truth, protect you, protect her.

 

[Owap]

Another thing, you keep mentioning is when she dies, and why is this? Also several times, it has been sugested you state the truth to her, yet you haven't addressed this detail at all. Do you prefer to lie to her also? Finally, how do you handle anger?

 

[Fita]

Seventeen times in your posts (17) you have mention death, killing, or someone to die. The people you have added in this statement has always been, female, or a child, except for one mention of elderly people. You went so far to state waterboarded and stabbed many times. Stabbing is done in anger, especially many times. Is it safe to assume you carry a lot of anger towards your mom, or mother figures? Do you have anger towards children? Is this something going back to childhood? Is it safe to assume you have had few relationships in your life? Is there any sexual trauma involving another child and you? *Your friend*

 

[Cizumu]

So you are making progress by pulling this out. But is this anger directed always out or inwardly or combo of both? Let's...

I'm not sure if I've stated this yet, but no I'm not constantly angry. Most of the time I'm content or occupied. I don't get upset at people easily and when I do it's short lived unless they've really ticked me off which is hard to do. I still get images and think about harming them, even if they were nice or neutral to me. I don't really see the importance behind telling the truth and the only reason, that I am aware of, that I talk truthfully to my friend is because "that's what humans do." It's what you're told to do at a young child. It's socially not acceptable.. Sometimes I'll feel bad if I do lie to her, but I've since stopped lying to her for the most part. Once in a while I'll jokingly say something and then I'll say, "No. I'm lying. That's not true."

 

[Cizumu]

Finally your friend may have no reason to let on that she knows this side of you for her personal reasons but it may h...

I'm not super polite to her. With her, I tell the truth in a "frank manner." I'll say it bluntly and sometimes be brutally honest, but if I think it'll hurt her a bit too much then I'll think of a way of saying it more kindly. Tell her the truth about what? I've already let her in on my game, if she's so intuitive(which she is) then wouldn't she have picked up on it already?