My 12 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with PTSD. She and I recently spent the day together. We haven’t necessary had a close relationship due to my health and her parents didn’t bring her over to see me through the years I couldn’t go see her. Nevertheless as she started getting older conversations on the phone were more frequent and we became closer.
During our recent visit she wanted to talk to me about her parents splitting up. They continue to live together but as roommates. She shared she felt like it was her fault that they split and thought if she had been “better” they would be together. She was in tears and told me she had started cutting herself during that time. I was aware of that as her mom told me. It had been 2 years and she said she had not done it since then. She asked me not to tell her mom about thinking it was her fault because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
She is in counseling and said she talks to her about this. I told her I wouldn’t say anything but if I found out she was hurting herself or felt like she wanted to I would have to say something. I raised 2 of her siblings for 10 years. While we were talking I said something about the house where I use to live and she didn’t remember me Iiving anywhere else and I said it was the house when your sisters lived with me. She had no memory of any of it including her sisters living with me.
She asked me if her mom had done something to them and I just said she needed some time to get things together so they came to live with me. We hugged on each other and it was time for her to go home. A few days later I got a text from her mom saying my granddaughter had told her I said she was violent to her sisters and she was to keep it a secret that I told her. I was shocked and devastated and of course her mother didn’t believe me when I told her what happened. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve researched PTSD and lying is not uncommon as a coping mechanism, attention and other reasons but I have no idea how to handle this. My grandchildren are my world and my entire life since they were born was to be there for them and love them with all I have in me and this has completely destroyed all of us. All of my grandchildren were told this.I don’t know what to do. I would appreciate any help. Thank you.
During our recent visit she wanted to talk to me about her parents splitting up. They continue to live together but as roommates. She shared she felt like it was her fault that they split and thought if she had been “better” they would be together. She was in tears and told me she had started cutting herself during that time. I was aware of that as her mom told me. It had been 2 years and she said she had not done it since then. She asked me not to tell her mom about thinking it was her fault because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
She is in counseling and said she talks to her about this. I told her I wouldn’t say anything but if I found out she was hurting herself or felt like she wanted to I would have to say something. I raised 2 of her siblings for 10 years. While we were talking I said something about the house where I use to live and she didn’t remember me Iiving anywhere else and I said it was the house when your sisters lived with me. She had no memory of any of it including her sisters living with me.
She asked me if her mom had done something to them and I just said she needed some time to get things together so they came to live with me. We hugged on each other and it was time for her to go home. A few days later I got a text from her mom saying my granddaughter had told her I said she was violent to her sisters and she was to keep it a secret that I told her. I was shocked and devastated and of course her mother didn’t believe me when I told her what happened. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve researched PTSD and lying is not uncommon as a coping mechanism, attention and other reasons but I have no idea how to handle this. My grandchildren are my world and my entire life since they were born was to be there for them and love them with all I have in me and this has completely destroyed all of us. All of my grandchildren were told this.I don’t know what to do. I would appreciate any help. Thank you.
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