All My Anger From Ptsd Triggered At Once

[L83201]

So I was going through my day and being kinda happy with it.
It didn't start great because I always wake up terrified and really upset, but I was able to get myself out of that and my day turned out to be really good. I had this great conversation with a person I hold in high esteem, and that really made my day.

I was unsure whether to go out at night or not, I use to think that I should push myself to be more social because I think of myself as someone who is in general afraid of other people and I want to fight that.
But then I am afraid for good reasons, because - at least here - people are actually awful and dangerous when they are not incredibly boring.

This guy started to talk to me out of the blue and I swear I don't have a "please tell me about your life" look, it's the opposite actually. He told me a couple stories about his life that 1. were clearly at least partially made up and had the sole purpose to make him look awesome - which he is not; 2. were completely uninteresting despite his efforts to be creative (while lying obviously) and 3. were so long. I tried to get out of that more than once until he finally let go.

A while later he and some common friends - which is unfortunate - decided to have a drink. I said I did not want to join them and I did not join them. But he asked me to drink literally at least 25 times. Each and every time I said "NO, I DO NOT DRINK". Very soon I was yelling and visibly mad. I finally told him "if you ask me again, I WILL press charges against you".

Later he asked me to smoke, to which I said NO. He then asked me to drink again a couple times. And this time I completely ignored him and kept talking to the person I was talking to.

I don't think I did anything wrong, but I am somehow mad at myself for not yelling at him more and for not insulting him. I am mad because I did not say "you are an idiot and a pathetic loser, you are awful as a person and disgusting and shut the f*ck up or I'll punch you in the face". I am mad for not saying "do not speak to me again and keep your distance". I wanted to say "don't you dare ask me that again, you dumb ass".

Any tips on how to handle all my anger right now? I really want to go back to that awful place and insult that animal. Thank you for listening.

 

[Friday]

He annoyed you. That does not rate a beat down. Physical or verbal.

Not tearing him a new asshole was the right thing to do.

Anger now? Burn it off. Put it to use. Push-ups. Sit-ups. Home repair. Whatever. Burn it off. Take a nice hot shower and wash the sweat & salt & sore muscles. Hot/cold drink. Bed. My 2 cents.

 

[honeypie058]

I relate, had the same problem with my own violators today. Distraction and burning off anger energy works to stop immediate reaction to slap the offender, but for me it doesn't do much to change how I feel when someone crosses my boundaries. There has to be some middle ground.

For example, my in-laws accused me of wasting and stealing my husband's money and demanded to see our bank statements. Of course my husband complied because he's too chicken to protect me or my privacy from these people. My first initial reaction I wanted to call them up and scream at them how their son wasted his own money. My fantasy is to beat the crap out them. Logically I know that I can't do this and I try distraction, exercise but I'm still left with the anger and lack of control to stop the offending parties.

Sorry I went off on a tangent but I hope that there is something in the middle to help get anger out and to control from being violated again.

 

[Gs172003]

Honey I understand. I wanted to cuss out some fool I've never even seen and then smear his nose across his face simply because I read about what he did to somebody else on a thread on here and then made excuses for it. But....I want to be better than that.
I don't agree he was simply annoying. He was harassing. Asking the same danged thing over. And over. And over. And over. That's harassing. Not sure what you can do about that.

 

[Justmehere]

I agree with @Zoogal. He was harassing you and it's not ok.

Your "flight or fight" response kicked in and it helped get you away from this guy and to a safer place.

Not insulting him was actually wise. It would have like added fuel to his creepy fire. Going back to insult hi would also likely put you back in harms way.

The desire to go back and insult him is totally understandable and likely extra "fight" response. A desire to finally have control in a situation where he was trying to take all the control away from you.

Instead of going back to insult him, find ways to feel safe and in control again away from him and burn off the anger like @fridayjones suggested.

And great job standing up for yourself! Not only did you do nothing wrong, you did one hell of a job making no very clear! I'm so sorry he was such an a**hole.

 

[Gs172003]

Some people don't take no for an answer. Apparently it was this guy. Hell, for all we know he could have had plans for that drink he was so desperate for you to have. You're a smart girl.

 

[Rani G2]

Friday has some good practical answers. Thanks.

 

[L83201]

Honey I understand. I wanted to cuss out some fool I've never even seen and then smear his nose across h...

That's exactly the point. I was very clear, I could not have been more clear about my decision; and he bought me a drink anyway. There was literally nothing else that I could have done except calling the police, maybe.

And the worst thing is nobody told him anything; if I witnessed that, I'd go to the guy and tell him "look, you are really annoying this person, leave them alone now". Instead, a friend of his told ME - politely - "oh so you don't drink".
It felt like an attempt to help, but it was all wrong, he was talking to the wrong person and asking the wrong question. He should have told HIM to stop harassing me.

Why is that so hard to realize? I tell people this story and they tell me "oh, I know that guy, he's an idiot, never mind", I know very well he is an idiot, but that is no justification, he is an able adult and should be considered accountable for his actions. Thank you for understanding!

 

[Gs172003]

That's exactly the point. I was very clear, I could not have been more clear about my decision; and he...

You're welcome. Maybe next time alert a bouncer and let them deal with him.

 

[L83201]

And great job standing up for yourself! Not only did you do nothing wrong, you did one hell of a job making no very clear!

Thanks! And I'm glad I did it, but I was literally shocked that was not enough to make him stop. Eventually, I left without saying bye. Then blocked him on my socials, and he recently friended me on Instagram, so I blocked him on Instagram, too.
I mean...I can't believe how entitled some people can feel.

This idiot approached me in the past, but I think since I was in a relationship he let go and now he thought in his sick mind that since nobody "owns me" than I have no human rights.

 

[Gs172003]

Thanks! And I'm glad I did it, but I was literally shocked that was not enough to make him stop. Eventua...

Wow. He's pushy.

I know people that LOVE the chase. He sounds like he's one of them. Stay away from this guy.

 

[Freedomfighter]

So I was going through my day and being kinda happy with it.
It didn't start great because I always wake...

Somebody that crass does not care what another person says. I have the same problem with stalkers: I could tell them off a million times a day but that would simply not change the way they are.

I have learned to completely go out of the way of such people. He did not just annoy you, he obviously knew that you had already voiced your opinion but kept pressing you to do something you did not want to do.

Next time you see that guy run, he is what rape is made out of.