Your comment of l would not be able to provide emotional support. Why do you feel this way? Sadly, someone close to you di...
For the one that drove into a pole, yes I would say so because I was not there for him physically or emotionally. There was another person, not a friend more of an acquaintance, I was there physically but I couldn't offer whatever deeper support that they needed. Yes there are quite a few things about me that I don't like and one of them is this. That I can't control the days when I feel I'm different and just messing with people. Of course during the day, I couldn't care less, but when I'm out of it and look back I hate it. I feel like I gave into my own mother's disappointments.
I feel lesser than others because, in my opinion, I'm nothing special. I'm not especially smart or knowledgable about important things. I'm not the perfect "shoulder to lean on" because sometimes I'll blurt out an honest opinion which is usually the worst thing to do in certain situations. The only things I'm "good at" I'm actually mediocre at. There's nothing for me to contribute to the world or community and if I do, it would be out of faux empathy because I just simply couldn't care for it. I do not like that I can't care for others and can only for very very few people. An example would be this old lady that I've met and spoken with for more than a year. I always pass by her house to pet her kittens or to walk her escapee husky/wolf mix dog back home. She's a very nice woman, but I can't seem to feel some.. connection to her. If she were to die, I don't feel sadness or anything about it. It's just one less human off the earth -- a shrug of the shoulders. I'd feel bad if she were to find that out, but that wouldn't change my idea on the matter. I just simply wouldn't care and I know how that's not socially acceptable or it's "wrong" .. I don't know and I can't help it. I was never really close to the relatives of mine that died. I was the last person to visit my aunt before she died, I've seen an elderly man fall and crack his skull open and I watched the Paramedics lift his broken skull and clean up the area, I guess you could say I've seen a lot of death. I don't say this for sympathy because when stuff like that happens, I have a rather delayed or late reaction to it. Throughout all of the times I went through an event like that, I remember not feeling anything. I would sometimes think the words, "Oh, what a shame."
Except with this friend of mine. Just the thought of her being injured bothers me. Thinking about how she'll die, the amount of pain she'll be in, attending the funeral, and life afterwards, it keeps me up at night crying and replaying the images over and over..
Maybe I will try that.. if I feel some sort of emotion I guess. If I feel one coming, I won't deny it, but I'll try it when I'm with my friend. Thanks for the suggestion.
