I see many thoughts that have been put here, and I can relate to them. Wanting to be rescued, removing myself from the world. Not wanting to take part in a world where one feels like a foreign body. I am trying, I really do.
I had a slight breakdown at work due stress and therapy which seems to activate something that seems to be overwhelming. Selfcare is absolutely essential, but still I have been extremely sad, there is an overbearing amount of grief thats so powerful that I have difficulty to control myself to not cry in public.
It feels like a inflamed wound that just doesnt seem to heal. Everywhere I look, I see things falling apart, people struggeling with living. It hurts to live. Even knowing that this is a strong resonance to my own inner battle,I cannot get distance. I feel like crawling back into a safe place, where I am never have to deal with Life's adversities.
I have dreams of living in a far place, somewhere on a island, in a small house, isolated, where no one can me hurt me. I feel like a child writing this. I want to go HOME. What I am referring to as home is probably an inner basic trust. I am aware that we can only do this by processing, finding/digging for our inner ressources. Setting boundaries and doing selfcare.
At this point, I have lost hope. I feel very very sad.
Shankara
but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of "parties" with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
― Sylvia Plath
I had a slight breakdown at work due stress and therapy which seems to activate something that seems to be overwhelming. Selfcare is absolutely essential, but still I have been extremely sad, there is an overbearing amount of grief thats so powerful that I have difficulty to control myself to not cry in public.
It feels like a inflamed wound that just doesnt seem to heal. Everywhere I look, I see things falling apart, people struggeling with living. It hurts to live. Even knowing that this is a strong resonance to my own inner battle,I cannot get distance. I feel like crawling back into a safe place, where I am never have to deal with Life's adversities.
I have dreams of living in a far place, somewhere on a island, in a small house, isolated, where no one can me hurt me. I feel like a child writing this. I want to go HOME. What I am referring to as home is probably an inner basic trust. I am aware that we can only do this by processing, finding/digging for our inner ressources. Setting boundaries and doing selfcare.
At this point, I have lost hope. I feel very very sad.
Shankara
but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of "parties" with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
― Sylvia Plath
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