Cooked My Favorite Breakfast

[BlueOrange]

I find food really difficult. Deciding what to eat, preparing it and enjoying it; these are constant struggles for me.

As a child, I was proud of my ability to cook, and it was a largely positive interaction with my parents. In the process of realising that I needed to get out, I dissociated from everything that had any positive connection with my father. His cooking was (from my child's point of view) probably the best thing about him.

Today, for the first time in perhaps decades, I cooked french toast according to the personal recipe that I invented when I was 9 years old. (There's a trick I came up with regarding cinnamon that makes it mine. It looks awful, tastes great.)

Given that I was unable to eat toast two weeks ago (the thought of it made me want to throw up, and forcing myself to eat it caused me to actually throw up), this is a big deal.

 

[aut555]

Breakfast, French Toast, but you did make it. Maybe next time you try it, you won't have any intense feelings ever. Sending compassion and a virtual waffle maker filled with cinnamon waffles and salted carmel sauce. Lol

 

[Fadeaway]

Way to go! That is really huge.

 

[BlueOrange]

Maybe next time you try it, you won't have any intense feelings ever.

I think it'll take at least 5 or 6 repeats before I'm doing it without difficulty. When the difficulty drops really sharply, it tends to be because I've dissociated from the difficulty instead of actually resolving it.

But to your most important point: Yes, I expect that things will continue to improve.