Curious... How Long Have You Been In Therapy....

[Muted]

And how many different therapists have you been to before you found the right one? And how do you know your therapist is a right fit for you?

If you have found the right fit, does it scare you?

 

[MisterCatLady]

I've been with my current therapist for 8 months. She is my 4th therapist. I knew she was the one when she explained the thoughts in my head better than I had words for. She's not perfect but it's been good for me to trust her even though I sometimes question where she is coming from. I'm going to explain what I mean but I don't want to offend anyone. She's religious and I question the logic of anyone who believes in the supernatural. So it's been good for me to trust her even though I often judge people like her.

It doesn't scare me that I found a good fit. I'm not sure I know what you mean. Do you mean a person might be weary that the "right" therapist will expect more from them?

 

[Muted]

It sounds like you have found a good fit.
I mean scared like if somehow I fail or mess it up, there will be no hope. I guess it's hard to explain, I had truly sworn off therapy before this T. Im afraid of her giving up on me and afraid I will somehow sabatoge it etc.

 

[One step at a time]

I've established an honest and transparent relationship of some kind with 6 therapists (give or take). I've been in therapy on and off for six years. 3 of the 6 therapists provided a place to vent but were otherwise utterly useless. 2 of the 6 were good and helped me, but they weren't good enough to realize that what looked like depression was actually thinly veiled PTSD. My current therapist is excellent, and she is the one who realized I had PTSD.

My criteria, off the top of my head: compassionate, experienced, smart, and very, very honest - no sugarcoating, beating around the bush, or tiptoeing around issues. Not reactive to self-harm or dark thoughts - the person must recognize these as symptoms of trauma/pain, rather than causes for alarm in and of themselves.

 

[Panda Bear]

One therapist, almost 5 years. He was the right fit from the start. I didn't know what I needed, but God sure did!

We were a match from the very start, T had everything I needed and when he didn't, he got it, learned, tried it, practiced it and then some.

And you bet your ass I was scared. Scared shitless for nearly three years, but he never backed down and stood by my side through all I threw at him.

 

[MisterCatLady]

It sounds like you have found a good fit.
I mean scared like if somehow I fail or mess it up, there wi...

I don't believe in there only being one solution. If you have a good therapist, chances are there's still a better one out there. I think what matters is that you're both comfortable with and committed to working together. You get more than just one shot at recovery. You get every shot imaginable.

 

[Eagle3]

I've had several short-term therapists over the last 10 years. School therapists, private-practice folks, referrals, etc. However, the one I have now I've been working with for about 1 year now, maybe a little more (time gets blurry for me). I actually met him through a mutual person, my best friend is an aikido student, and my T is her instructor. When I went to class with my friend, I interacted with this guy for a bit, even interviewed him for one of my psychology classes in college. I knew he was a therapist, but his unique approaches and personal beliefs were so foreign to me, that I couldn't entertain the thought of him as MY therapist. However, when he was willing to help me with a problem no one else could even begin to understand (chi flow damage), I started to see him as MY therapist and never looked back.

He's been the perfect therapist for me in so many ways. I've been able to work on issues that I don't think any other therapist would have been able to touch as effectively. I was scared when I first met him, thinking he was too perfect, so I could never see him for long, but he's turned out to be such a wonderful T that now I'm scared he's going to just up and die on me, and I'm gonna have to start over with someone not nearly so good, with lots of unfinished business. I try not to dwell on that kind of unhealthy thinking, and focus more on getting myself as healthy as I can as quickly as I can, and know that this guy will help me every step of the way for as long as I can pay him for it :-)

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I've only had 1. He was just a name that I'd heard before, but then suggested as someone I might get some help from. So I went with that, and have been there for 4 years now. Perhaps I'm one of the lucky ones.

Yes, sometimes I'm terrified. My anxiety rises all day when I know I have a session that evening. Why? I'm not sure. I think it's partly because he reads me so well, and when the right times come, will dig down into the deeper areas. Force me to face something I don't want to look at.

I feel as though I should be "done" with therapy by now. 4 years is a long time. Your question has me curious too... thanks for asking it.

 

[Crow]

Therapy as a whole? 27 years. Wow. But the first 10 was going between people who couldn't help - I think 8 different counselors in total.

With my current psychiatrist I've been seeing her for 16 years but only weekly therapy/deep stuff for 6 years. Most of the first ten was seeing her quarterly for drugs but she no longer doles out pharma.

The 'right fit' T did scare me for a while when we started building a healthy therapeutic relationship. I'd never had a healthy relationship. I wanted to bolt. But now I enjoy our sessions.

 

[Gs172003]

Uhhhh....not sure. Trauma therapy? Six months

 

[digger]

Four years. I had a couple of intake assessments with two others, but this is the only therapist I've done any work with.

how do you know your therapist is a right fit for you?

I don't know in my case - I was very limited in my choices due to location and initially that was what I had to base my choice on - she is a good fit though, but I don't know if we've grown to fit, or if she would have been anyway. I think it's probably a bit of both.
I think one of the things I really value from her is that she has adapted her way of working to accommodate me. I didn't know it at the time, but that was something I really needed from her. Neither of us had any idea at the beginning that I would need those accommodations, but it hasn't fazed her (or if it has she hasn't shown it). I think there are a lot of therapists that would have found some of my communication problems too difficult to work with.

If you have found the right fit, does it scare you

Hell yeah!

 

[Friday]

Self study, about 2 years.

Right people at the right time and place, about 5-7 years, way back when.

Formal trauma therapy, maybe about a dozen sessions. Mostly over the past couple years. And that might be padding it a smidge. A few of those times massive fails about 15-20 years ago.

I've done ADHD therapy off and on for over 20 years. Marriage & family therapy, a few years. I've actually dated a couple trauma therapists once upon a time. In theory I know the drill. In practice? Snort. I'm a little skittish, and a lot broken.