Relationship Wanted: New "wife" For Combat Vet

[recoveringfromptsd]

I personally thought the post that started this thread was in poor taste, maybe even insulting given that most everyone here has suffered from abuse, or is connected to someone who has.

 

[dulcia]

I personally thought the post that started this thread was in poor taste, maybe even insulti...

I saw it as a supporter voicing frustration with difficulties they are having in their relationship due to skewed expectations. Personally, I've dealt with something similar in my relationship with a combat vet (including the abuse) and I appreciated someone else vocalizing it.

 

[Sweetpea76]

this thread was in poor taste, maybe even insulting given that most everyone here has suffered from Abuse, or is connected to someone who has.

Sadly this is not uncommon for a lot of supporters who have to deal with their sufferer's lashing out behaviors. I can relate personally.

I don't see how this is a statement about people who have been abused. I see frustration and compassion fatigue. It's hard to be the focus of this day after day.

 

[dulcia]

Above all you should be prepared to take orders, be belittled, insulted and verbally abused without in any way reacting negatively. You should be infinitely kind, patient and loving without expecting anything in return.

I mean this happens to other people too, right??

 

[EveHarrington]

Supporter vent thread in the supporter forum. Perfectly fine as far as I know.

If a sufferer can't handle supporter stuff, I advise them to not read it-----instead of telling them it's in poor taste.

Everyone has a right to express themselves here. I don't think we should be saying posts are in poor taste as that's a personal opinion and just like triggers, we are left to ourselves to manage such things as opposed to trying to control everyone else.

IMHO.

 

[Sighs]

@recoveringfromptsd - the post is in poor taste??? What does that make the veteran's behaviour?

(Yes - I know - his behaviour is due to his PTSD which is an illness. But the OP is still dealing with it.)

 

[Sweetpea76]

If a sufferer can't handle supporter stuff, I advise them to not read it-----instead of telling them it's in poor taste.

^^ This.

Sometimes it's hard for sufferers to read about supporters having a hard time. It can bring up all kinds of feelings. I've seen people spiral into self loathing or get belligerent because they felt like they were being categorized as an abuser.

Just like it is impossible for us to understand what it is like to be a sufferer, it's impossible to understand what it's like to be a supporter unless you are one.

 

[Gs172003]

Frankly I don't care what a spouse is suffering from. Nobody has a right to treat the OP that way .I saw it is she didn't feel like she was doing a " good enough " job for her vet so was looking for somebody " better " to fill the bill. (Tongue in cheek of course)

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

In poor taste I mean this.

The person is expected to contribute half to the household
Yet is responsible for taking on the yard work and cooking and cleaning
prepared to take orders, be belittled, insulted and verbally abused without in any way reacting negatively
be infinitely kind, patient and loving without expecting anything in return

In essence be this guys slave, to be used, and abused

I just don't think it's the kind of post that appropriate for this type of site.

 

[anonymous]

I'm the OP.

This post was placed in the Supporter Relationships forum. It is a vent of frustration at the way my veteran treats me and his expectations of me. He treats me like that for months on end when his PTSD is "playing up". Intellectually I know that he treats me that way because he is isolating and simply can't face the day to day tasks required to keep a household running nor is he able to show any appreciation of my efforts to help him. That doesn't make it easier to cope with emotionally.

The post is very much tongue in cheek. Humour keeps a lot of supporters going in the dark times. The fact of the matter is that many sufferers treat their supporters extremely poorly at times.

I'll reiterate what others have said - if the post brought up issues for you at least recognise that they are YOUR issues. I personally find many of the posts relating to child sexual abuse very confronting and upsetting. I'm on this site as the supporter of a combat veteran. So I do not read posts which appear to relate to details of CSA. But I would never complain that those posts are inappropriate.

 

[anthony]

I just don't think it's the kind of post that appropriate for this type of site.

Why don't you leave what's appropriate for this site for staff? Worry about you, not the opinions of others or whether they are relevant to this site or not.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

goodbye