I'm Mean?

[Deleted member 37720]

To get on something my doctor wants me to have mental health support so soon I will be in therapy. I'm afriad he'll just get mad and not want to see me instantly. When I meet new people I'm kind of mean. It's not like name calling mean but like a sarcastic kind of mean. I guess it's my way of testing people to see if they will still be there when I go through hard times or to see how they react. Do you think he will get mad? I always feel the need to know how things will unfold before hand. Have you acted this way to your T before?

 

[Eagle3]

My T is just as sarcastic as I am, and I met him outside the office, in his natural habitat, so I was surprised when he turned out to be compassionate and empathetic in the office. I'm sarcastic too, so we can feed off each other and be just fine in the dojo (he teaches an Aikido class my friends attend, I join in sometimes). We know when to joke and when to get down to business. A good T will recognize the sarcasm and where it comes from, and be able to answer it, redirect it, or assuage it, whatever is appropriate to the situation. Good luck, I hope your T is half as good as mine is!

 

[EveHarrington]

Plan ahead to not be sarcastic.

We can give you a million different scenarios but the truth is that your sarcasm may not sit well with that doc. If you appear to be treatment resistant the doc has every right to say he wont work with you.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I always feel the need to know how things will unfold before hand. Have you acted this way to your T before?

I feel that way too. Though I am not sarcastic much (or at least in ways most can understand) but I do unload lots of crap in many large heaps for that same reason. So in that way, yes, I tested my therapist. I tested him in many other ways as well and I am one to joke to deal with really not funny things and so do that as well.

Most therapists can catch anxiety and testing and real true sarcasim or true meaness. Or at least mine can. I once was talking about something and he said "you know i can tell that you are indirectly talking about me and yourself, correct?" It was about trust and therapist ending sessions. But it was so indirect that it suprised me that he caught on. Well, I shouldn't say suprised as he is a very clever person.

But anyway, my point is most people's fears of therapy therapists have seen it many times previously.

Just be yourself and if that's sarcastic meaness, then that's fine as a therapist is there to help that. :hug:

 

[joeylittle]

@PuzzledLuke - are you going to see a therapist who says they have experience with teens? (if I remember right, you're a teenager).

I think almost everyone does a different kind of front when being in a stressful situation; therapy perhaps mores, since we ourselves are the topic.

 

[Panda Bear]

Sarcasm was my go to skill at keeping people away from me and protecting myself. I was so sarcastic, it was down right mean at times. My T waded through my sarcasm for about two years before it got better. Lucky for me, he was a sarcastic dude himeself, and knew how to play the game too :). But not everyone would have lasted as long as him, so yes...,it could be an issue. A good T with some great skills at getting through mean BS, won't be scared offf....

But in all honesty, T shared with me that there were times that he was more afraid of me than I was of him :sorry: That I really was mean! We can reflect in it now and really celebrate that my sarcasm has given way to more positive and productive styles of relating. He knew from the get go that I just needed someone to love me, and to trust. So, he stuck out my ugly phase and learned how to teach me that I had better options besides mean and protective sarcasm.

 

[Keming]

Sarcasm is my defensive mechanism of choice. Sarcasm puts me in control of any conversation. Sarcasm protects me from any verbal attack. Sarcasm lets me show my teeth, like growling - push me and I'll bite.

Sarcasm gets in the way a lot.

I'll permit one sarcastic reply, but then I ask myself: what message am i trying to communicate, really? Say that. If the therapist's question frightens me, I'll say "this question frightens me" instead of quipping. It's slow; it's starting to work. The more often I do this, the more comfortable I get with discussing the really difficult things.

 

[MisterCatLady]

Therapists are just people. Some of them are unnerved by some situations and personality types. I ask a lot of pointed questions and often say things most people wouldn't (such as "I feel like you don't like me right now. I might not be entirely receptive to what you're saying while I'm in this frame of mind"). One therapist found this quality rude and unsettling. My current therapist thanks me whenever I say something like that. We're all just walking, talking collections of previous experiences.

 

[Deleted member 37720]

@joeylittle Yeah I'm 14. I'm just getting a random person from an lgbt clinic next month cause like I said my doctor wants me to have mental health support. I don't even know if it's a physiologist or psychiatrist. Hopefully it's not a psychiatrist cause if it is I'm instantly out. I don't know any specialties they might have. Realistically they will probably suck either way. It's so hard to get help around here. All the the people my insurance recommends me for some reason are always really grumpy and stuff and when I look online there's only one I liked but I don't think she accepts my insurance.Literally in my county she's the only one I like. Ugh it's literally impossible to get mental health support where I'm at.

 

[Deleted member 37720]

I got like 30 numbers from my insurance to call and only one responded and was willing to work with me. And turns out she was a bit anti lgbt (Knew I was going there for trans stuff) and pretty much just tried to force her beliefs on me. She said me sexuality was fake and everything. Pretty discouraging on my recovery journey. Sorry I'm ranting at this point.

 

[watundah]

@MisterCatLady I absolutely love your post and it made me laugh out loud. My therapist and I get into it every few months because I don't like something she does and then I dont like her reaction to me saying that I dont like it!

Pfffft! Humans. Sooo annoying!