Struggling With The Normalcy Of Being Triggered/flashbacks

[mrsmegan]

Hi everyone -

I will preface this by saying that I realize that I am WAY too judgmental and harsh on myself, so I realize that my emotions/beliefs probably do not correspond with reality.

I really struggle with accepting that being triggered and having flashbacks is okay/normal. I have a tendency to think that it is stupid/weak that something would trigger me and that is annoying/unnecessary/dramatic to experience flashbacks.

I know, logically, how untrue this is, as I would never say or think that about anyone else with PTSD - but just to myself. I just have a hard time with this belief towards myself - can anyone relate?

 

[Abstract]

Hi,
It sounds like suffering doesn't result in self compassion and understanding but rather results in self judgement and unkindness aimed at self. Is that the case? Does that happen in other situations or just with flashbacks. Not sure of all of your history but sometimes when we have been unkindly treated we internalise that unkinness and start treating ourselves that way. I think many feel ashamed of flashbacks. I know I do. In context I think that in itself can be "normal" especially for certain types of trauma.

 

[mrsmegan]

@Abstract thank you for your reply. I'm pretty harsh in almost everything. My ptsd is from abuse, so I would say it's definitely me internalizing that trauma.

 

[NewBeginnings]

Hi everyone -

I will preface this by saying that I realize that I am WAY too judgmental and harsh on...

Hi - I can so related to this as I experience flashbacks and dissociative episodes that I didn't openly disclose to anyone (except for in therapy after 6 or so months). For me I am also extremely hard on myself, and I am a people pleaser. The reality that I experience these things brings up that I am needy and broken. I do not want to rely on others because that has not been a positive experience nor do I want to be perceived as needy. I am struggling with recognizing my needs are important. So when experiencing a flashback I minimize it and view it as a defect. It is annoying. I get angry at myself because I want to control it and it creeps into my life without my asking for it. I think I should be strong enough to not allow it to happen. As a result my anxiety sky rockets and Yhat isn't helpful. That said if we can view the experiences as our brains trying to process the experience and "complete" the story it may result in the ability to have compassion and understanding for the part of ourselves that had to endure our pasts which helped us to be who we are now. So easy to say and yet the challenge can be overwhelming sometimes. I have found as I process the experiences around the flashback my episodes are decreasing.
Good Luck on you journey.