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I'm Depressed And Have Been For Awhile, What To Do?

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Changing4Best

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I have Bipolar, PTSD and Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD). My Psychiatrist put me on Wellbutrin (low dose) for the SAD. I know it takes some time for the medicine to start taking affect, like 4-6 weeks, and I have only been on it since Dec. 19th. I guess that was about 3 weeks ago now. Anyway, I am not suicidal, although reading someone else's note about it almost drove me to be so. I am not far from that stage of Suicidal Ideation. However, I hope I don't start doing that now that my mind has had a chance to be reminded about such an idea. I have one serious attempt in my past.

Ever since the election, and the onset of winter, I have been depressed. I was not really in favor of either candidate, so whichever one won, I was going to be depressed anyway, even though I did vote.

I have been getting up at night and eating. This is bad for me, as my Dr. told me not that long ago, like maybe 2 years ago, that I needed to lose some weight, or I might get Diabetes. Needless to say, I did my darnedest to lose some weight, because my beloved husband of 23 years died due to Diabetes complications. So I am no longer overweight, but if I gain a pound, I would be. So getting up at 2AM to have a snack is not a good idea for me, and I think the new medicine is causing me to do this. It says that weight gain is a possible side effect, and so I am concerned.

I wish I could go out for a walk, but it is slippery and snowy out there AND COLD and I am not going to chance falling.

What do you do to relieve depression?
 
I got myself off of antidepressants by reading Trudy Scott's book, "The Anti-Anxiety Diet." It's not just about treating anxiety; it's about depression and all other mood disorders, and it's a lifesaver! It's packed with information, even though it's a thin book, because it gets right to the point. I refer to it often when I need some fine tuning or to help a friend out. Although it includes some advice about lifestyle changes, it mostly talks about nutritional treatments, like eating plenty of animal protein because it's loaded with amino acids which are natural mood boosters. It also talks about the many wonderful amino acids you can buy as supplements, like 5-HTP, L-Tryptophan and Gaba and includes many checklists including ones to help you determine whether or not you might have a food allergy or vitamin deficiency that is affecting your moods. I wonder if you could also do some sort of light therapy like other people do for SAD?
 
If you must get up for the snack, can you make it only a healthy snack? Get rid of the unhealthier alternatives?

Can you get an indoor exercise machine of some sort? Not a fancy, expensive one, but something small to sub for the walk when the weather is impossible?

Do you have anyone to call to maintain a social connection without needing to leave in the cold?

Anytime it is sunny, is it possible for you to stand outside for a moment or even sit in a sunny window?

:unsure: Just some ideas. When I am depressed, it is hard enough just to get out of bed for the things I have to do, much less "optional" self-care. I am still learning.

I hope you find some things that work :hug:
 
OK, I read the Scott book's introduction on Amazon last night. I got some ideas from just reading that, so thanks. As to just standing in the sun, I would maybe able to do that. We have a bench in the back of this apartment building and it sometimes is in the sun during each day, that is if it is not cloudy. Sunlamps make me get a headache, I am not sure why or how. So that is out. I did get what I think is a brilliant idea about a book I could create. I just got it this morning. It would be a huge project and require me to probably get a scanner, but hey, that is something fun to play with too, for my inner child! I have gotten one book published before and did write another one once, which I gave to a church. So you see, creating a book would not be just a pipe dream for me either.
 
I have Bipolar, PTSD and Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD). My Psychiatrist put me on Wellbutrin (low...
First I want to share that I just a few moments ago saw your precious greeting on my member page @SheilaKathy and Hello back at you, beloved one! Next, just a reminder depression is part of this beast called ptsd that has to be managed daily. Sometimes this may mean sleeping, calling a treasured friend, coming into our wonderful forum here and doing what you have done - sharing about where you are re: anti-depressant wellbutrin that has weight issue side effects? I was on this drug for some time and I did gain weight, however I was on about 6-7 add'l rx's for misdiagnosis of bi-polar (now pro. comp. ptsd/major dep.disorder). As you probably know SheilaKathy all drugs effect each person differently. I have treatment resistant depression - rx's do not work for me. I use a certain particular (not run of the mills that do NOT work - light box. It is called a Sunbox from the SunBox Company. They are located in Gaithersburg, MD. and can be found on the web. My saving grace especially in the wintertime @SheilaKathy. Most light boxes do not pull seriously depressed people up and out of suicidal ideation depression, etc. Most light boxes at best for growing plants, veggies, fruits LOL.

I have attempted over the years (last attempt in 2003) to commit suicide; now even though I at times still very much struggle with severe depression and truthfully I still struggle with wanting to check out of here and for me this is not my depression - this is my history and memories and now dysfunctionally wired brain trying to lie to me (as caregivers use to do) and my tortured mind (now in EMDR) still wants me dead; and my depression is also related to my current life issues.

I sit in front of my Sunbox light box (brightest tubes in any light box) and these light emissions relieve most all of my chemical depression. I still have residual melancholy at times to deal with and suicidal ideation depression (situational depression) especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and my Sunbox helps me to stay here. Seriously, @SheilaKathy, I could not survive without this particular light box.

I had spoken with a Nurse Kaye where I go for bi-annual 5 rounds of knee hyaluronic acid knee injections for being hit by car on bike, and she has another light box brand; she says hers is only good for growing plants as most light boxes are not pulling people up and out of depression.. Again, most light boxes are not bright and intense enough to pull a seriously depressed person up and out of severe chemical depression and this box does this for me; for around $300 - $325 company will ship you a desktop that's what I have on dining room table @SheilaKathy. You may wish to contact The Sunbox Company and obtain a brochure of all of their light therapy products (there are light therapy floor lamps, desk lamps, etc. that are not so costly. Hope you will do this for you, because you are worth it!

Again, My brain (anti-depressant treatment resistant and some people do not respond to anti-depressants - some do) does not receive any help and relief from rx's and for a few decades I would be brought up/out of depression by rx de jour that had just came out on market (and I am not against rx's) and then a few months later or a little longer, rx would stop working and drop me underneath the proverbial barrel, not even inside of barrel, under it.

@Naoru shared about healthier food alternatives; for unhealthier foods can exacerbate already existing depressive mood swings - after all unhealthier foods are loaded (some) with mood-altering chemicals. Also for some this does not work/help, for me it does, I eat several small (tiny) meals throughout day, which prevents serotonin/dopamine and ghrelin (when high levels will make you hungry) study this and leptin (when high levels will cause your body/mind to feel satiated) study these hormones - from rising and falling causing worsening depression, worse mood swings, and the feeling of being out of emotional and mental control, hence more depraved thoughts about - well, you know. And as you most likely know depression causes above-referenced hormones to fluctuate, and for me to want to eat when I am not truly hungry @SheilaKathy.

I just read @StormySea's post to you - where she too is talking about Light Therapy, and also healthier food alternatives, etc. Need to stop, trying to switch computers. This week got to go to geek squad at Best Buy and try and import my files onto new computer. Could not do myself. Urgh! Tried now for the past (counting this day) three days, to no avail. So I may be not be on line here as often as I would like and as present in this wonderful forum, but will be after setting up new computer. So grateful for your post @SheilaKathy and I care about you. I am here for you. hugs and cuddles. JadesJewel
 
@Naoru money is an issue, as I need new glasses at this time and my health plan does not cover or pay for them. So an exercise machine is not within my budget at this time. However, it just might be something I could look into in the future.

A friend and her son visited me today, so I got cheered up by that. Another friend is taking me to the Dr. tomorrow, so that helps too. It is for a routine check-up, but transit is down due to the snow storm, so I had to ask a friend for help. It always feels good when friends agree to help me. It makes me feel like folks care. And they do!

Anyway, I am not as depressed today. I have hope. I feel loved. These things are SO important. And also, when folks here on this site reply to me, it feels good too, so thanks everyone!
 
If money is an issue, I'd suggest looking into soups and making your own broths. They're appetite suppressants, they're a warm drink (great for cold weather) and you can season them however you like. All you need is a pot, water and leftovers. I made some turkey bone broth out of our leftover christmas dinner and chucked it in the freezer for when I want some (noone else in my household eats soup). If you do try it-I may suggest using muffin cups or plastic wrap if you go the muffin tin in the freezer idea. Scratched my brand new one getting the buggers out. >.<

You can also do this with veggies and vegetable leftovers- just if you're using leftovers, like carrot tops and onion skins and peelings, make sure to put your broth through a strainer to get them out.

Other than that-put in pot, add water, let simmer. All day if you want. Half a day and all night if you've got a crock pot. Whatever works for you. Later one you just pop a piece in some water and heat it up and add seasonings if you want any. Nice and quick and minimal preparation for blah days.

As for exercise-you can try indoor exercises, like planks and lifts and stuff-and there are excellent youtube instructionals on yoga. If you can clear a spot where you can see your PC from, there's worth a try. I'm generally not very motivated so I try things like adding extra work and motions to daily activities. Things like doing some twists while I brush my teeth, getting a smaller drink so I have to get up and refill it more often, pacing while on the phone, etc. Just little extra bits throughout the day, so while I'm not "exercising" I am getting *some* exercise.

That being said, I gained 20 odd pounds on my meds and they're not going away. It's a side effect I'm not altogether happy with, but it happens. The little beyond that from a sedentary lifestyle however, that I can keep off as long as I don't have a bad week.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing either. Remember that. You can do a little at a time. You don't have to fix everything now :)
 
Thanks. I am not as depressed today, thank God. I got an idea for a project I might like to do, to...
Projects are for me @SheilaKathy one of the very few ways I am able to hyperfocus on just the project, and not my ptsd brain running wild thoughts/ramblings through my mind. Hope your project is soothing and turns out pleasingly for you @SheilaKathy, I really hope this for you. Sweet dreams hugs and cuddles. JadesJewel
 
OK, I read the Scott book's introduction on Amazon last night. I got some ideas from just reading t...
You are an author @SheilaKathy - wonderful! I have book pages clawing, pleading, and ruminating up in my mind to be written. I would not have the monies to publish this book inside of me. Interested in learning a pointer or two about getting book published inexpensively @SheilaKathy. Wow, my Christian sis is an author - Incredible! xoxo JadesJewel
 
getting up at 2AM to have a snack

Peanut butter has been my best friend lately. I am also now snacking in the middle of the night and it's worse as I sleep in a recliner just so with pillows all around so it is a job to get up and down. But do so anyway and I am sure it's the Seriquel XR. It gave me a wicked sugar craving for a long time. That has since gone away thank god as I was flying into rages for not having something sweet in the house.

But peanut butter and some milk and I am all good lately. It's got good protien and some other good nut stuff. I eat it with a spoon but I only will eat a few spoon fulls and I am done. It helps that it takes a good bit of milk to eat it that way. I tend to use the spoon of it like licking icecream.

Anyway, that has helped the snacking. The depression I don't have a fix for but when I lived in Kansas I would make sure the blinds was always opened. It helped that it's not gloomy there and actually very bright as the light from the sun bounces off the snow. But natural light is depressions enemy.

What also helps is to find something I can get fully lost in. So a hobby (paracoed knotting is my new one. I like to change them up), writing, crafts, art, or even a good book, a movie or binging a show, or a game on my phone.

Magage your stressors. If a thread is making it worse then leave the thread and go back later. If you still get more depressed then don't read it. If you really want to add something, read up to where you can add to and don't read further. I have done that.

Find people to be around. Hang around your friends. Just being around people helps.

And keep reaching out if you need support! :hug:
 
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