LMFAO. Actually? I tend to call it "this stupid f*cking thing" when I'm talking out loud! :roflmao:
I have a really hard time saying anything out loud when I'm doing badly. Words, period, much less anything trauma related. In order to actually call around and phone screen people? Which means a super short synopsis "I have PTSD from XYZ, what's your experience & preferred modalities, etc." I generally have to get myself reeeeeally intoxicated, first. Not slurring, much les fall down, drunk. But enough chemical distance that I don't throw the phone and punch a window and break my hand -as well as the phone- before it's rung twice. :bag: Because I'm very mature. That, or so outright furious about something that I have rage-distance instead of chemical distance. I'm working on it. Talking and I don't get on well. Admitting weakness is wrong. <<<The italicized bit is pretty much the first hurdle I have to overcome, although here are others. There are situations where that is not true (in order to work as a team, one must be able to accurately assess & evaluate strengths and weaknesses, which means making weaknesses known... As an example). It's just all very against the grain.
