Urge To Cut

[Muted]

Have you ever done EMDR?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Gia1019 I have no intention of giving up, but I am dealing with the same flashback volume I had when I was suicidal and went to SP, its not a matter of overcoming this, I have to overcome this, because to not overcome this is to want to die instead. But I am beginning to drown in this, I can't even drive anywhere without my mind processing abuse, it won't go away, I am stuck right now between the moment, and trauma time. I need help with the coping side of this, while I continue the process already just begun. I have been using a lot of DBT skills to cope right now, but I don't have an endless supply of strength.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Have you ever done EMDR?

No, they stopped using it at Life Crisis Center

 

[Muted]

I understand this is extremely difficult for you. What do you think could help you get through this right now?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I understand this is extremely difficult for you. What do you think could help you get through this rig...

I think going back into PHP would be helpful, because right now outside of a few sessions here and there, I am at home, with my mind whirling away, at least with PHP I will get the same DBT material again in a intensive format, and will be occupied in the process in such a way where I can be thinking about the past. PHP is all day every day except weekends. besides it giving me DBT material again, it will give my mind a break from all this, at least during the day.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Gia1019 I have dbt and life crisis again tomorrow, any my regular therapist on the following day.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I went to DBT and life crisis, I am very pleased with the outcome of the sessions, the downside is it keeps my mind flood with processing past abuse, sticking me between trauma time and the present. I see my regular therapist tomorrow. And will be talking with her about all this.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Gia1019 I saw my regular therapist today. She wants me to slow down the pace with the abuse therapist, and she wants to see me on alternative weeks from the abuse therapist.

 

[Muted]

How do you feel about that @recoveringfromptsd ?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Gia1019 I am ok with it, she want's me to try that first to see if it helps, before we look at me going into PHP for a while while doing this therapy.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Gia1019 I came very close last night to doing something but I was sort of dissociated at the time, I was having the same waking dream repeating the same theme the entire night, and it was very disturbing, it was like living it all over again, as the dream was of me being abused. Once I was able to get grounded the urge was extreme, almost enough to push me over the edge.

 

[Muted]

I'm sorry to hear the struggle has gotten worse @recoveringfromptsd . Do you think something triggered you yesterday?

Disassociation can protect us, but I know when I come back from it, it's a horrible panic that sets in.