Other Agoraphobic... i just said it out loud

[Mim28]

I've just admitted to the chat group that I have become severely agoraphobic. I haven't said the words out loud until now and it's scaring me.
I am terrified all the time. Please I need so words of advice. I've been trying so hard to get back to work, but I can't even barely leave the house. Please let me know if you have gone through this and what has helped.
I am really desperate to recover.
I feel devastated.

 

[Muted]

I've just admitted to the chat group that I have become severely agoraphobic. I haven't said the words o...

@Mim28 i haven't been diagnosed with this, but I struggle with being away from home. I can leave the house, but I avoid it and get anxiety especially in certain circumstances. Certain places feel safer for me than others.

 

[turtlemoon]

All I can tell you is that I am in the exact same boat. You are not alone. I... haven't figured this one out yet myself. Feels like I am drowning, watching my world crumble but am helpless, trapped here afraid to be seen through the window somedays. I thank you for sharing this. I wanted to bring it up myself but was too afraid.

 

[Muted]

The only thing that I've found to help is routine, avoiding crowds and having a safe person with me.

 

[Mim28]

@turtlemoon , thank you for your honestly. I really am struggling. I understand the "window" thing. I avoid them most days. I'm embarrassed and I don't know what to do. I was out yesterday and I held in the stress, tried to work through it with positive talk. It has taken me down today. I take medication but it's not helping so much. I slept for 10 hours and I could go back to sleep. I'm trying to stay awake so I don't throw off a regular sleep pattern.
I'd really love if we could hear from some more people who could add some advice.

 

[Mim28]

@Gia1019 , thank you. that would be helpful. I've relied on my family so much, but they are all busy. I have to plan out my outings days in advance.

 

[Mim28]

I keep trying to get a picture in my head of the me who just did things as opposed to this me. Maybe focusing on her will help, but as someone said, I've really burned myself out.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Mim28 Yes, I went through this too.... it's super annoying, and can take your life over completely if you let it. My story is this.... I was single, supporting myself and no help from anyone other that one friend. Not $$ help, just there is listen and offer advice.

He kept telling me to just force myself to get out of the house. I had to, I had to support myself and that meant leaving the house. I know this sounds crazy, but I was FINE, until I would go into the bathroom to get ready for work. Then the panic would set in, sweating, fear, shaking, anxiety, and a sensation that I was trying to move through a thick heavy substance. Like I was moving in slow motion or something.

The only way I could get out of my house...... I had to crawl backwards down my stairs. God, I remember those awful days and the fear. But it worked!!!!!! Took 3 months, but I pushed myself every f*cking day, because I was determine that it wasn't going to take my life over......

Anxiety and panic feel awful, but it won't kill you. Facing your fear, is the only way to get to the other side of it. That side is freedom from it!!!!!

 

[illusionist]

I suffered from this, and I stupidly allowed it to take over...ended up being a prisoner in my home. My ex husband thought he was doing good by seeing to things...but it only enabled me to stop pushing myself.....the minute I did that, the fear of the outside world became even greater. I eventually found the strength to work at getting out into the big world again.

My advice is to push, and keep pushing....don't allow it to take over. My experience was that exposure did help a great deal...giving into the fear will only make your life a mystery, as well as making the fear worse.

 

[Mim28]

@She Cat , thank you very much. I'm glad you were able to make it through. See, I am not fine at all. I am hardly ever relaxed. I have moments of peace. I break down and cry. Regular life stressors set me back. My T said I should be at 75% of my old self for at least 2 weeks before thinking of going back to work. I'm not even at 25.
I will consider what you have said. If I can get myself emotionally balanced at home, that may be an option.

 

[Mim28]

@illusionist. thank you. I try to keep pushing but ever day after is a setback. I have no consistency. Am I expecting too much? My job will require me to be "On". I don't know if I can do that right now.

 

[illusionist]

I know that I timed myself....I'd set a length of time out that I was reasonably comfortable with, then build on that every day. I'd force myself to go to the corner shop a couple of times a day ( as well as my walks)...I'd buy the most useless of things in that shop, just to purposely expose myself.

Small but consistent worked for me.

It took me a few months, but I was starting from standing next to an open window....it may well take you a lot less.

Workwise, I would stick to the advice given to you...give it a little time yet.