Take a moment to disconnect from yourself. I suggest writing down good things about everything. Just good. Find a place in your own self that makes you feel at ease. I write down why I love my wife and sometimes I share it, sometimes I don't. I don't know you or what you have been through, but I was like you for a long time. No visible emotion, but I was crawling with it under my skin. Find what makes you happy in a healthy way and exploit it. My wife and I have driven through the barriers I put up to protect my emotional well being. I am totally open with her now. The good and bad, but always gentle with the bad(when I am capable). Your world will change if you meet your wife's gaze with a smile. Talk. Just talk. Tell a funny story. Tell an emotional story. Your wife is the safest person in your world(or should be). I love loving my wife now. I have gotten so much better at it.
Another thought. A hard core person is soft shelled. They can be, they are hard core. A soft core person is hard shelled. Being hard shelled drives people away. I am hardcore. I did time in the military and worked in the prison system. I have been in work mode at home,and it sucked for us both. I can't believe I was able to speak in that tone of voice to her. I believe that my wife should feel love with every word and action. I think that's what your wife is wanting, to feel loved by you. A man wants respect, a woman wants love. A few marriage counseling sessions focused on communication helped us the best. I understand her now, and she understands me better. My shell softened and my core has hardened. I know who I am. I am a retired cop that could win just about any physical confrontation, but my wife would never know that unless she saw my service record. Flip the switch, its on in your life, leave it off, I'm the nicest person ever. I control my switch.
