Narcissist Personality Disorder (covert)

[Amarit]

I read about this recently and can't help but, feel an ahah moment. Been accused of having this so I checked out some sites and took quizzes. I made a 100% on every test. A lot of these symptoms describe me. What do y'all think? Being paranoid, or is this really what I am a person with NPD?

 

[Wiki]

I think the most important question here is how your possible, let's call it "dysfunction" interferes with your life. Your close relationships? Romantic partners? Are you able to sustain them? How about work? Etc.

We're all somewhere on the spectrum. It's not a full blown personality disorder until there is a serious history of relational dysfunction.

 

[Uza]

None of us are Dr's so we have no idea.
If you have a therapist..talk about this with them.

 

[Amarit]

I think the most important question here is how your possible, let's call it "dysfunction" interferes with your life. You...

Not sure where your going with this question. I have been told that I think the world owes me something and that I should be the center of the universe. A small part of me denies this. But, I do ridiculous things to get attention. The other day for example I pretended to be sad even though I wasn't just so they would give me attention. I lie about so much. That I like this, or dislike that just because I know that's what it will take to get the other person to like me. I'm finding more often or not I seek out a person and am kind to them using them to help me reach some sort of goal. Then afterwards I ditch them and when they complain I start making up all these stories/things they, "Supposedly." did. But, when I try so hard to just say, "It's all lies!!" something in me won't let me. I'm looking at myself from the outside. Like when we watch television and scream at the main protagonist not to, "Go investigate the noise." but, they do it anyways despite our please. I feel like I am simultaneously outside that television screaming and in it doing the action I said not to.

 

[Amarit]

None of us are Dr's so we have no idea.
If you have a therapist..talk about this with them.

Well I'm not allowed to have a therapist because I'm not, "crazy enough." Quoting my guardian.

 

[Wiki]

NPD most often prevents people from acknowledging they are in any way flawed or to blame for the havoc they cause. You seem pretty well aware that you have some issues to work through and habits to break. Even the fact that you'd like to see a therapist would put you in the top 0.005 percentile of narcissist who actually acknowledge they may need treatment.

I am also not in any position to diagnose you. In my humble opinion, what you've described may show some traits but that does not a personality disorder make.

 

[Ufu]

My husband is one and it is damn near impossible to live with him... It sucks the life out of me.

 

[Ravej]

If you feel you are NPD you probably are but definetly go check with a professional first. Covert NPD is much more common that average folks realize, and I have come across numerous self-aware narcissist. The OLD theory was that Narcs dont acknowledge their disorder, but more and more there are many becoming self-aware because our culture makes it more likely now for a person to hear about it, learn about it, and research it, or to meet another person who understand the full SPECTRUM of NPD and then points it out to you. Only those who are higher in the spectrum are so entrenched that they cannot admit or become aware that they have it. Those are the extreme Narcs. Covert narcs do not match the level of extremes as other Narcs. Nonethless it is a very deeply ingrained issue and effects your ability to be truly authentic, and you will have less empathy (but no zero empathy) than healthier individuals, so this will effect relationships evem of the effects take years to reveal themselves. You may also experience bouts of unexplainable depression... some pros say Covert Narcsissism is also a depressive disorder as well as a PD. I dated a covert narc years ago and figured out what he was through research. I showed him a description and he broke into tears becuase he finally understood himself. He got it confirmed with a professional. Anyway, over time I learned that he was ignored in many ways growing up. For example, he was actually truamatize by a chronic ear infection at young age but parents didnt take it seriously enough. He spent years as a young child pretending to be a wild animal in the house but parents didnt realize it crossed into bounds far beyond normal healthy playtime behavior. He had a friend in middleschool comit suicide but his parents never ever talked to him about it once. These sorts of things lead to him becoming a Covert Narc. My advice to you is be brave enough to keep being honest with yourself and learn as much as you can from PROS. Otherwise, you'll never be any better off than you are today.

 

[Imime]

Oh, I will add this too incase it helps you/other readers. My ex covert Narc also was extremely attractive, yet his group of male friend were somehow even more attrwctivr (model level) and they all were sports stars in school, expect for him, so he secretly felt extrmely insecure and jealoud because it seemed as if his taller sports-star friends got all the attention from girls, etc. Since his parents werent very emotionally communicative, he essentially was raised in a home that looked nice to other people, but the truth is he was lonely and sad, so in order to make friends, he decided one day ue was going to become "The guy that everyone likes". THIS is how to Covert Narc continued to form. He decided to always ACT bubbly, smiley, and make lots of jokes... at the expense of letting his true emotionality develop. Very few people saw through his phoniness, so this made it socially safe enough to continue with this false outer image of a person. This is essentially the definition of NPD. A false shell. I found these stories fascinating years ago and they helped me understand Covert NPD. I hope maybe they help you too. NPD is 10x more complex than avg people realize. Pick up a few books on NPD and talk to a professional if you can handle it. You will know very soon for sure if yoy have Covert NPD or if you're just a notch shy of being on the scale. Many people are overly narcissistic but not yet quite Covert NPD, Overt NPD, or whatever else.

 

[Wowu]

True narcissists only make up about 1% of the population. Chances are it's something else.

 

[Wiki]

I have to agree with Wowu. Though many people display traits, not everyone who displays as a narcissist is diagnosable as NPD. However, I also agree with Imime as to the possible causes of developing the disorder, and given that narcissism is somewhat en vogue now, some may be more likely to acknowledge the issue. I would still argue, however, that NPD is quite rare and even less common are those who are willing to seek treatment unless their lives become seriously unhinged.

I also respectfully disagree with Imime that covert NPD is less extreme than overt types. It is merely a difference in communication style in which a sense of superiority and grandiosity is not displayed through monetary and material goods, but through other, less obvious means, such as intellectual or spiritual interests.

 

[Bunaw]

Any chance you're a teenager?