What To Tell The Police...

[Freedomfighter]

So I'd like to report my abuse to the police. I feel like it's something I need to do - I need...

My advice? Collect as much proof as you can, and yes that would include exact dates, times, videos, voice recordings, collect witnesses and record their statements.
Abuse at schools is very common and every single time the victims are shunned and abused much much worse after they report it and many of them have to leave that school because the friends of the perpetrators will force them to do so. Especially if teachers are guilty of abuse they are in a very powerful position to band together.
It is common knowledge that once a victim reports abuse that the attention the victim gets will elicit all the wrong behaviors from students around them and often the families too.
When I reported my findings of one attempted assault at a workplace it was followed by additional assaults from the exact same people I reported it to. Not only that, the friends of all of these people have harassed me for over seven years, practiced libel and slander where ever they can, and will threaten me mentally and physically when I am working or when I am out and about.

I would not ever again report a crime openly, was even harassed by police officers (they still monitor me) due to the fact that the original perpetrators were involved with the local police forces.

I would give a victim the advice to collect all of the evidence themselves and then hire a private detective with that evidence, no way would I present that to police officers.

 

[Sideways]

@Freedomfighter - I think my op must have been a bit misleading. The abuse occurred when I was at school 20 odd years ago, so no issues with having to change schools etc.

The teacher moved on from the school 2 years after my abuse, and like many abusive teachers, has been moving from State to State ever since.

It is very difficult to 'collect evidence'. Even the process of going throug memories to record detail is retraumatising and extremely difficult. Like many victims, the best evidence would be other victims coming forward with similar complaints. I'm not optimistic that there will be oter complaints because of the trauma bonding issues involved (which I think would be fairly common among his victims), and the difficulty in identifying complaints across the different jurisdictions involved.

I'm trying to stick with the philosophy that I'll do what I can, which will be limited in large part by what I can handle emotionally. But even that is challenging, and a lot of self-loathing issues are bubbling up for me just planning my complaint.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I didnt know what to say here and I never reported it partely because there was nothing to report until 12 ish years later (in my own head), partley because I feared (and still do though both main parties are dead) that they can reach out and kill me. Ive seen that and knew what they could do in a phone call like a mob hit. So odd to me. And partley because "she's my mom" and "he's my first love".

But I think it is an amazingly brave thing to do! I know no one would believe me and am suprised my therapist does and you guys do. It actually sounds made up or a horror movie (which is made up) or something. It isnt but my therapist said that the term "thats unbelieveable" got name for a reason. So "horrible" that its literally unbelieveable or unable to be believed or whatever. He says people dont want to believe things like this as it makes them uncomfortable and they fear what they dont understand. Its easier to just not believe you.

But i wouldnt much care if the police believed me if its about him and the teacher gaining more victims. I will say that any "proof" of wrong doings in a church scene is rather important if it has any chance of being investigated as a cult or even being on that edge of being cult-like as many groups are. The authorities have shut down and removed children and other victims out of the bordering ones several times in my lifetime. So even if not a bonoified cult, still deserves investigating as being like a cult or on that side of the fence.

So because i wouldnt care if i was believed id spill it all and give all and any "proof" (if any) including his movements and lay out your worries of other victims etc. What would help is to write it all down though. Start to finish and hand it to someone in law enforcement or in a role of authorities and tell them you couldn't say this outloud and "you probably wont believe me but this did happen and I am just worried about other victims. Please take this seriously...." (or something like that) and then leave it with them and in their hands.

If you are thinking about it enough to write a post about it then you already know what you should do. But please know that i think you are amazingly brave to do so!

 

[Sideways]

What would help is to write it all down though. Start to finish

I can dot point, like "digital penetration, oral sex, intercourse, anal sex,".

But I just don't know that I can write out my story. I think that would be too paibful. Idk.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Oh i see. Sorry, writing is easier for me then talkng. I can write what i cant say. I assume others are like me too much.

 

[ladee]

Ragdoll..when are you going to do get to begin this ?Do you have any idea what the procedure is and do you have support?
Do you have to make an appt?
How ever this happens , however you share..it will be hard. But no harder than what you have been living all these years.
Just know I am with you before, during and after.
Take your time. Honor your courage. Courage doesn't mean you aren't fearful and anxious..it means we do it in spite of all the feelings.
You are not a victim
You've served your time..and not it's time to start the journey of freedom.
With you. Propping you up.
Lots of "L" word.

 

[Sideways]

Yeah, okay so the process is to report it in writing or by phone, and the Commission has prepared a form with specific questions that you can fill in instead of just freeballing it, which is easier for me because it tells you exactly what information they're after.

But of course, ultimately you get to the question: "Can you tell us what happened?" They've probably left it open ended so that you can say as much or little about the detail as you like.

If you agree, the Commission will forward what you've written to the police. Where the police go with it is entirely up to the police, and if I get lucky, no one else has complained about him and I never hear from him again.

I've almost completed the form, but I'm still struggling with how much detail to provide.

Then there's the issue of lawyers. There are several law firms that have set up a department specifically to assist victims with complaints to the Commission, and following through those complaints with the police and any compensation negotiations (which varies a lot from one institution to the next, and I can honestly say that if I wanted a single penny, I'd be really glad right now that I'm not Catholic, cause they aren't tracking so well in the compensation stakes!).

I don't think I can go to a lawyer. I just don't think I can fight this that hard. I think sending back the pro forma complaint is the best I can do right now. But it still leaves me with the question about how much detail I want to provide. If the police did end up wanting to investigate, that's a seperate process and I'd have a lot less control over the flow of information. Yuck.

 

[joeylittle]

I think dot points are more than fine.

The more you can make it into facts - I mean, just straightforward pieces of information, without worrying about constructing a narrative - the easier it will probably be.

 

[Stickler]

So I'd like to report my abuse to the police. I feel like it's something I need to do - I need...

There's a great deal of past abuse that was committed by the Catholic Church coming to light right now in Australia. I would say bring it all up, especially if you can get full names through research?
...Reason being, there may have been reports about those people.
I'd write it out, myself, so as to be clear about it.

Though that might take a while.

 

[BlueOrange]

tl;dr: I had a look at the website, and I have some understanding of how these things work. I believe that a minimal level of detail regarding the abuse is sufficient for the Commission's needs. If in doubt, the Commission has a 1800 number, and I'm sure they'd prefer for you to call them than for you to feel anxious.


Long version:

So, I had a look at the website and the terms of reference. Terms of Reference, Child Abuse Royal Commission


It's worth noting that the instructions from the Queen to the Commissioners includes the following:

AND, without limiting the scope of your inquiry or the scope of any recommendations arising out of your inquiry that you may consider appropriate, We direct you, for the purposes of your inquiry and recommendations, to have regard to the following matters:

e. the experience of people directly or indirectly affected by child sexual abuse and related matters in institutional contexts, and the provision of opportunities for them to share their experiences in appropriate ways while recognising that many of them will be severely traumatised or will have special support needs;

Elsewhere on the site, I noticed that the law has been changed in order to assist the commission in meeting this requirement.

Also worth noting - the link on the website does not say "Make a submission" or "Submit evidence". It says "Share your story." Having made submissions to other Australian legal processes, I can assure you that this is a very big and important difference in wording, and it reflects a big and important difference in process.

Another thing is that all Australians have a legal right to silence - this doesn't just apply to defendants, it applies to accusers as well. So if you share your story and it is passed on to the police, it is possible that the police will want to ask you some questions. You cannot (legally) be forced to answer those questions.

How much detail should you provide? I think the answer is "How much detail do you want to provide?" The terms of reference tells you what the Commission has been instructed to investigate:

a. what institutions and governments should do to better protect children against child sexual abuse and related matters in institutional contexts in the future;

b. what institutions and governments should do to achieve best practice in encouraging the reporting of, and responding to reports or information about, allegations, incidents or risks of child sexual abuse and related matters in institutional contexts;

c. what should be done to eliminate or reduce impediments that currently exist for responding appropriately to child sexual abuse and related matters in institutional contexts, including addressing failures in, and impediments to, reporting, investigating and responding to allegations and incidents of abuse;

d. what institutions and governments should do to address, or alleviate the impact of, past and future child sexual abuse and related matters in institutional contexts, including, in particular, in ensuring justice for victims through the provision of redress by institutions, processes for referral for investigation and prosecution and support services.

So, if you're conflicted about whether they need a particular detail or not, then the question to consider is "Would that detail make a difference in terms of the investigation that the commission is doing?"

And, last but not least, I notice that the brochure in the "Tell your story" section has a 1800 number for enquiries. So, once you have a level of detail that you think might be enough, you could consider ringing that number and asking the question "Can I read you my description of what happened so that you can tell me if the Commission is likely to need more detail?"

 

[Sideways]

@BlueOrange - thank you so much for doing that legwork. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I visit their website, I just nd up getting overwhelmed.

I think at this stage I'll stick with just dot points of the key info without going into detail. That's full on enough for now.

 

[Muttly]

You are so brave to be doing this. And I think it's amazing and wonderful that you are recognizing and acknowledging that you matter. What happened to you was deeply wrong and you are a special person who deserves to have the trauma you experienced the trauma.

One of the things I noticed in some of your posts is you thinking far ahead. Like, what if you go to court. It's understandable, but this is such a huge and hard undertaking that I think you need to focus just on the step you are taking right now. Your filling out the form and going with bullet points. That's great. That's all you need to figure out at this point..