Irrational

[Casey_03]

This will sound ridiculous, so I ask you all to please slap some sense into me.

I recently moved into a different room in my deceased grandma's house, where I'm currently living. It's a bigger room, and quieter, so easier for my 9-month-old to sleep in here.

But there's a chest in here that contains the baby clothes of my grandma's baby, who died. When he was 9 months old.

I'm now having all sorts of irrational fears .... the clothes being bad luck, my baby dying because we're in this room .. ghosts.. crazy thoughts. I know part of it is anxiety.

But it's really freaking me out. Please tell me I'm being irrational?

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

Irrational, yes, and I can guarantee that there isn't anything to fear, but there are some "logical" reasons for the irrationality, if that makes any sense.

With your grandmother's recent death, the idea and concept of dying is extremely highlighted in your mind still. Entering the room with the chest also made death appear in your mind again. While there is no correlation between your child and your grandmother's child, the fact that the baby died at 9 months old and your son is currently 9 months old is enough for your mind to have an irrational fear: What if my baby also dies? There's zero evidence to show that this will happen, but anxiety is an asshole and yells "YES, BUT WHAT IF."

If it truly concerns you and you can't get your mind off of it, feel free to see if you can move the chest and the clothes out of the room and into a different one, if possible, or if someone is willing to buy the clothes off of you. There is no need to panic, but if it would set you more at ease to change where your son sleeps, or move were the chest resides, then feel free to do so.

Hang in there Casey. We're here for you :)

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I think I would be having very similar thoughts. I would also be entirely able to convince myself that those were rational fears. However, you're more apt in describing them as irrational fears. I think that @RecedingMoonlight has offered a good answer. I was going to suggest seeing if you could move the chest out of the room so it's not a constant reminder.

 

[Sighs]

First off - yes it is totally irrational. The clothes are just clothes. They are not an omen and hold no power over your baby.

Secondly - if it makes you feel better move the chest. If it's too heavy, move the clothes.

Hugs!

 

[Killashandra]

Yes I'll slap some sense into you deary....

First off... clothes are clothes... they are now infact vintage children clothes which have been passed down through the generations. There's something special about that.

As for ghosts.... I believe in the spiritual world. But any spirits here should never be malicious. And if it worries you then stand your ground , white light protection surround you and tell the spirit that thier time has come to move to the light. They are not doing any good staying on this plane. Then if you need more closure smudge stick the room. A bundle of dry sage and I like to include sandlewood and let the smoke reach the highest corners and the lowest corners and the center of the room. Keeping salt under your bed will protect from evil doings... yes my grandmother still does that.... I find salt shakers everywhere at her house.. lol

But most of all keep yourself grounded

All the best
Killa

 

[Friday]

Actually I think it's totally rational : This is something you've been wanting for awhile (to change rooms) so now that you've gotten what you want? Your mind is looking for everything that could possibly go wrong. Well. Rational in Trauma-Land where the other shoe always drops, just because you think there's an enemy hiding behind every bush doesn't mean that there isn't, & Murphy's Legal Firm is the Attorney of Record.

In the absence of real & present danger? What's the next immediate threat to life? Well. Shazaam. Anything that already has dead kids attached to it is going to light up and glow like a neon sign. Hence the chest of clothes. Even if there are far more realistically dangerous things around, anything with bodies already attached to it has VIP tickets to the show.

$20 says the moment you remove the chest of clothes (do so, btw), your mind is going to latch onto the next most relational thing, and the next. Whether that's (practical) open windows, tumbles down stairs, (side effects of geriatric illness) needles in carpets, drawers with forgotten pills, etc. so forth & so on... Until everything that can go wrong has been hunted down, or your mind stops waiting for something to go wrong, because something actually has gone wrong & you can relax, no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. Phew! Okay. And breathe.

 

[Casey_03]

$20 says the moment you remove the chest of clothes (do so, btw), your mind is going to latch onto the next most relational thing, and the next. Whether that's (practical) open windows, tumbles down stairs, (side effects of geriatric illness) needles in carpets, drawers with forgotten pills, etc. so forth & so on... Until everything that can go wrong has been hunted down, or your mind stops waiting for something to go wrong, because something actually has gone wrong & you can relax, no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. Phew! Okay. And breathe.

This is spot on. You are absolutely right.

The funny thing is, I'm not even a superstitious person. At all. If someone else had said this to me, I'd laugh.

There is definitely an American Horror Story vibe to this chest of clothes thing, though. The baby died back in the 1960s, and I never really heard the whole story of how it happened. In fact, nobody has. Details are scarce. Nor did I know this chest was in here until recently. But it's been made more mysterious (and creepy) by the fact that the chest is locked and no one has the key -- can't be opened. And it's far too heavy to move.

I have, however, decided to just leave it and try to conquer my irrational, yet rational, fears. Because @Friday is right -- even if the chest weren't in here, I'd be freaking out about something else.

 

[Casey_03]

@RecedingMoonlight You're right about the death thing too. It's definitely been at the forefront of my mind in recent weeks, even when I'm not really aware of it .... Makes me feel a bit better to realize it's just my anxiety having a field day with my grief.

 

[hodge]

Yep, that's how these freakouts work. They are limited only by your imagination, and some of us are cursed/blessed with them. Just a shot in the dark, but you could try channeling that energy into something artistic? Painting? Coloring? Crafts? Cooking? Anything? I know you write for work, so, as a fellow writer, I would recommend something completely different, as writing is exhausting.

 

[Casey_03]

That is a brilliant idea @hodge I should start painting. It's easy enough that I could do it while watching my 9-month-old. My mom was actually a painter, so it would be a way to honor her. Now that I'm living in my grandma's house, there might actually still be supplies from when my mom was alive and painting. Thank you!

 

[hodge]

I hope you will post your paintings on Media. There are quite a few of us there, and we are all remarkable, as I'm sure yours will be, too :-)