I'm Freaking Out

[Killashandra]

I'm freaking out... I can't seem to control my emotions, I'm agitated, restless, angry, mad, sad, and right now I don't know what to do about it... I want to get in the car and drive and drive til I'm tired then come back again... it's this work thing, I haven't put in a medical certificate in for the last month, after 1 year of giving in medical certificates and the changes from doctors etc this past month I've gone from one Dr to another... I thought the medical consent form would have covered anything like that. .. I mean my regional manager and area manager have access to the doctor at anytime to request one.. not to mention the regional manager has just requested another letter of progress in the last week.

I put in a workcover claim in this week also.. and I'm freaking out.... I'm starting tho think that the Dr's were right with I'm not strong enough to make it through the procedure.... more independent medical examinations etc...

My husband says I do this, when work try to heavy hand me.... they say jump I say how high.... and I freak out... the only thing that can do is fire me... and at the moment I can't even function properly so I can't work anyway... but here I am freaking out, wondering if it's all worth it... wondering if, if anything goes wrong I wouldn't be able to cope... I'm tired of coping, I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of good people being used and abused and treated like nothing. Im sick of people and corporations greed and the struggle we have with humanity and caring for one another. .I tried so hard to do my best at work. I tried to be happy and positive and work hard. For a few years I could glady say I love my job. Then people with greed and driven to succeed by any means came and destroyed my secure little work place. I had everything I needed. Security protocols, rules, regulations, trust, risk assessment. I felt important. Then when the new manager came on board things started to go awry things that worked smoothly for so long didn't. .. my role was increased with no training. I'm no manager... and I can admit that... but to be pushed and nudged into something that I'm not ready for... I think it broke me. I couldn't handle the pressure anymore. If something went wrong... it was my ass... if something happened it was my ass.. if something was completed incorrectly and audit found it it was my ass..
Then add other new staff members who I can't get through and detested as her view of team work was lok after me...

It really has tried me emotional, and the pain and anguish here is it over flowed to my home life. My personal life, it effected my family. They have not been unsuffering in all of this..

I'm so sorry for the length of this and i understand if you just skip over ... but it has helped a little to express it... I can feel the panic ebb but not completely gone... maybe a bath might help.

For everyone on this forum, Thank you. Thank you for being here and all the support.
Killa :shy:

 

[VioletButterfly]

I understand the power of stress and what it does to anxiety, especially when we're kind of hard-wired to fall into a looping effect where it just amps and amps and amps up until we think we're going to explode. I think that is what you're describing above with the variety and intensity of emotions you're feeling.

Sending peaceful energy and gentle hugs, and hoping that you can use your coping and grounding tools to bring yourself into a more manageable space.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Deep breathing (Deep breath in through the nose as you count to 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale gently through mouth as you count to 4, hold that space for another count to 4, repeat as often as necessary, increasing the numbers as you practice more), escaping to nature if possible, primal screaming (into a pillow if you don't have a safe open space to do it), cranking up some favorite jams and dancing your ass off, punching a speed bag if you have access to one, and definitely the hot bath with two cups of epsom salts, along with some aromatherapy and soft soothing sounds have all been proven effective for me. I'm a recovering state employee who dealt with many of the same issues you mentioned, most especially when I spoke up and attempted to hold them accountable for various unethical issues. Best wishes for finding your calm amidst this particular storm.

 

[Rani G2]

Fill a bowl with icy cold water
Bend/lean over
Hold your breath
Put face in icy cold water for 30 seconds
Make sure that area underneath eyes/above cheekbones (most sensitive part of the face) feels the icy water

When your emotions, thoughts are all over the place no thinking philosophy will truly produce roots. So, the distraction is useful to stop that endless circulation to reduce clutter.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Holding ice cubes works well at grounding too if you can't bring yourself to dunk your face into a dish of ice water. I totally agree with breaking the cycle. This is where distractor tasks come in handy.

How are you doing today?

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'm freaking out... I can't seem to control my emotions, I'm agitated, restless, angry, mad, sad,...

Totally understand, such work places are common and many times they add rules that are not really rules. Those so called rules are put in place by people who are so power hungry they must dream about it night. Seems to be a common trait, weird.
Work in two places, one with female workers who constantly want to intrude into my private life and I ain't letting them. Then another workplace where everyone sleeps with everyone, disgusting.

The female workers sleep there with any guy that wants to, then those guys think they can treat every female like that, disgusting...