Need suggestions for calming down the inner abuser

[shimmerz]

I thought I would add this link as it is one of the few goods ones that I have seen out there (for us trauma people). It took me a bit to find it. I hope it is helpful to you and I hope that your life eases very soon.

http://freshwaysforward.co.nz/PDFs/Nov-2010.pdf

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@shimmerz this is so perfect! I can actually study this. He explains things very well.:hug:

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

I like the idea of an inner coach. I call the voices in my head The Greek Chous, because they are always offering commentary and criticism and have so much to say. Plus I have auditory flashbacks and it really is different people.

I love my T and think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sometimes she acts like a coach or cheerleader. I ask myself what would she say. I am trying to develop my own "Inner Mini M" since she is very short, lol.

Self-validation and self-compassion are key for me. Since it doesn't come naturally, I rely on Dr. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion guided meditations. I try to listen to one each night, but I've kind of fell off the wagon. Predictably, the harsh inner, shaming critic came back loud and clear.

Good thread to start, giz!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you @Lola Nocheprieta I could not access the link but I will take your word for it that is so helpful.

For today all is well for me, in that the inner critic is silent. A friend told me today that it is stressful for me when I pay my bills, which it is and the inner critic uses that time to realy clobber me good.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

Just go to www.self-compassion.org that is her website

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you very much @Lola Nocheprieta for making it easier for me.

So far the inner critic has been silent and I see that asking for help really deterred it.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

When my abusers show up, so does "spock".

When i am emotionally overwhelmed with invasive thoughts telling me how i deserved this and that im the bad person or ill be the one becoming the monster.....

"Spock" is the logical mind (much like a vulcan) that reminds me this isnt true, it isnt me, and by no means is any of this logical. Sometimes it takes a while but the thoughs slowly start to shut up. Or spock should use its vulcan death grip. Theres no such thing but the other thoughts dont know that.

Try to ground your mind enough to let your inner spock start reasoning with you and your invasive negative thoughts. I think we all understand that these overly negative thoughts arent logical, so its only logical to use logic to shut them up lol

 

[Anarchy]

Or spock should use its vulcan death grip. Theres no such thing but the other thoughts dont know that.

There is such a thing

I've only experienced it a handful of times, and I can't do it deliberately. At least one guardian part can pull the plug on a thought process, stopping it instantly.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

let your inner spock start reasoning with you

I love that! I will have to work with that idea/imagery, and cultivate my own "inner Spock." I have a very detached "observer self" but she is so cold and impersonal, there's not a bit of warmth or compassion. I have to work on a more compassionate Observer Self, but hopeful an inner Spock can help to combat the negative statements.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

There is such a thing

I've only experienced it a handful of times, and I can't do it deliberately. At...

There is no such thing as a vulcan death grip, but the invasive thoughts dont know that. Thats why it works lol

 

[Lionheart]

Journaling and challenging my thought processes is what has worked for me and realizing that in some ways the inner abuser wants to keep me tough-skinned and ready for action, if that makes any sense???

I guess I am trying to say that through excessive criticism and abusive talk the Inner Abuser is pushing me to stand up for myself and fight. In this way, It is really defeating it's own purpose which is to bring me down and break me into submission...Not gonna happen!!!

I have already survived that bast*rds lies and manipulations and I'll be dam*ed if I am going to let it happen again... See what I mean? ....I get really defensive and take a stand for myself.

I can't say what will work for you but, I hope you will take a defensive position and fight those nasty lies and negative thoughts,insidious though they may be. You can do this!!!

wishing you al the best,
Lion

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I will have to try this, it can't hurt!