Sexual Assault Should I Talk About This To My Psychiatrist

[Twialine]

So back when Iwas with my ex there came a point where I didn't wanna have intercourse with my ex at all.... when I first started feeling this way I tried ignoring him when he'd do advance toward me. After about a month he pointed out it had been a month and I said fine... i didn't enjoy it at all and afterword I felt awful like I had filth on me. It wasn't long before he stopped the advances all together and would just say it's been a month and I'd just say fine. I wanted to slap him and scream but I didn't. Instead I didn't do anything at any point until I left. I'm not sure if my psychiatrist should know or not. Also I don't know if that can be called sexual assault or not

 

[Justmehere]

You gave consent, thus it's not sexual assault.

It's still a good topic for therapy. It would probably help to work on setting boundaries and sorting out why you feel like you are covered in filth after consensual sex.

 

[Glara]

I can't say whether it was sexual assault. In my experience there is an expectation of sex in a romantic relationship. I don't know enough about your relationship to determine that. I can say that in my past I had an intimate relationship with someone. After we broke up I had sex with him, but it wasn't my choice. I left where I was to go with him because there was a child there and I didn't want trouble. I went along, but not willingly. I had sex with him because I was afraid of him. He was violent. It wasn't my choice though. Was that assault? I'm not even sure.

Yes, you mostly certainly should mention it to your pyschiatrist. Do you have a history of sexual abuse that you are aware of?

 

[anonymous]

@Glara

In my experience there is an expectation of sex in a romantic relationship

while there may be an "expectation of sex" in a relationship it is not a guarantee of sex. This is the reason that marital rape exists as being illegal. Just because their is a relationship doesn't mean either or both parties consent. The last several years of my marriage before I had the courage to leave my spouse raped me more times than I can count. His justification was that we were married and it was my duty to fulfill his sexual needs and if not well he made sure physically that I didn't have a choice in the matter. I never consented, I never said fine, okay, sure or whatever I said no, however I didn't physically fight against him as I was terrified one of our kids would wake up and rather than taking out his anger at me for not wanting sex he would take that anger out on our children. It is a terrifying way to live and considering that he was aware of some of my history (one of my previous rapes but not the others or molestation) he should have known what he was doing was wrong and damaging but he didn't care, all he wanted was his needs met.

 

[Kintsugi]

This wasn't sexual assault. This was unwanted sex. It still doesn't feel great, but it isn't the same as nonconsensual sex.

I would certainly talk to your therapist about it. I don't know really what the limits are in psychiatry for talking about such things. In my limited experience, a psychiatrist just wants to know about symptoms and prescribe meds and then see how it goes, adjusting or switching as needed.

 

[Twilight]

So back when Iwas with my ex there came a point where I didn't wanna have intercourse with my ex at al...

Are you familiar with the wheel of power and control in domestic abuse? Sex is used by some to obtain the power. Perhaps this is why you felt filth afterword. I lived with this for a long time and the "wheel" enlightened me to why I now hated sex, whereas before, I did not. It was because it was based on coercion, power and control. So, while it was "consensual" and I did not say "no", it was ugly and i did not enjoy it. My partner also would watch the calendar and try to guilt me that it had been "too long" since needs had been taken care of....

 

[James McGregor]

no absolutely not sexual assault, unhealthy yes and a problem - but would be totally unfair and in fact criminal to label him as someone who assaulted you. best to be honest and if you dont want to then say no - he cant read your mind and would not want to be having sex with someone who sees him as a perpetrator in some way